Hi Bigman,
Jo1958 is so true in what she says, I know how badly you wanted to be there and i've been thinking of you and checking on here to see if there has been any news, but I know from experience myself that loved ones do seem to pass away before those close to them get there, as if they are protecting them. I've even known nurses who have seen it time and time again, they will pass away when family members leave the room to get a drink etc. My grandad always said he wanted us all with him when he died, my nan fell ill the night he passed away, I'd got to the hospital to stay as we knew it would be that night, my nan suddenly fell ill and she cried as I had to take her home, she was ill and I had to stay at home to make sure she was ok and my mum stayed with my grandad. He died early hours of the morning, I'd hoped we could get there in time but sadly couldn't. I believe with all my heart he wanted us there but in the end he didn't want my nan and me to see him die. I also missed another close relative by minutes and felt such grief that I wasn't there, but keeping that thought in my head that they wanted to protect me has helped me through it.
Your father knew you were with him every night, he knew you loved him and he wouldn't want you to be sad that you weren't there, I honestly believe he wanted to go before you got there, he didn't want you to see him like that, he wanted you to remember him how he used to be and didn't want you seeing him die tarnishing those wonderful memories.
I'll be thinking of you Bigman, I really feel for you, you were obviously very close to your father, just remember love never dies and he will always be with you by your side watching over you xxxxx
