First timer

[margaret 21]

Hi just been browsing this forum and felt the need to join as I feel we will become good friends over the next few months/ years.
Just started on the long journey of trying to get a diagnoises for my 78 year old father. He as been refered to the memory clinic but it is a 12 week wait.
Somedays he is like my dad of old but those days seem few and far between . He lives with my mother and 27 year old nephew (who as some learning difficulties) but we just dont know how to deal with his confusion , do we correct him all the time or humour him .
I hope you will be patient with me because i sure do need your support.
any advice on what and how to cope would be gratefully received
kind regards
Margaret

 

[larivy]

hi margaret sorry to hear about your dad just wanted to welcome you to TP its a great sight and im sure you will get lots of help here. i am a 24/7 carer for my mum who is 85yrs and has AD and MND for over 2yrs now there is always someone here who will be able to help you . i humour my mum most of the time welcome Larivy

 

[margaret 21]

Thanks . I am also the nearest carer , as my mum as some mobility issues and also with supporting my nephew since his mum passed away 3 years ago, so i do have my hands full most days , aswell as holding down a full time job (which i love and is my escape time) . I have a very supportive husband and daughter who I could not manage without. . Thank you for the warm welcome.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Margaret

Welcome to Talking Point [TP]

I was shocked to read

He as been referred to the memory clinic but it is a 12 week wait.

It is a long time to leave you without any support or information.

With reference to your dad`s confusion, I`d try to go along with him unless what he says or does puts him at risk. Even if it does, confrontation is the last thing you want to do, so I would advise distraction if at all possible.

Having said this, doing the right thing is not always possible. So much is a case of trial and error, and depends on the character, personality and degree of confusion in the individual.

There is no harm in giving the memory clinic a little nudge , asking if your dad could be contacted if there is a cancellation

 

[margaret 21]

I have asked for my father to be put down for any future cancellations , so there is always hope. and I have recently got in touch with the local Alzheimers society and they have sent some information ,so thats my bedtime reading sorted. Luckly at the moment we can humour my dad so hope that works for now. Both myself and my mother have worked with the elderly in the past for many years and this as helped us to understand and accept it , but it is so hard when its someone yopu are so close to.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello and welcome from me too.

You seem to have plenty to cope with. I was just going to suggest you contacted your local AS and from your latest post I see you have.

I hope you find TP supportive and helpful.

 

[lin1]

Hello welcome from me too.

over the months I have been here I have found TP invaluable.
somewhere to let off steam, helpful advice and support.

As for correcting your dad, if it distresses him then best to humour him

at first mum was fine and we would have a giggle, them as the dementia worsened, mum really believed she was right also it reminded her that thingswere wrong with her , so I found it best to agree and change the subject.

 

[piedwarbler]

My mum waited ten days for her memory clinic assessment after referral so I agree your wait is terrible.

I do feel for you at a worrying time. I think I felt better once Mum had been assessed and I knew more about what we were dealing with (even though she doesn't want to know and is a real ostrich).

I hope you will soon be feeling more positive - you will get plenty of support here so keep posting and let us know how you are. Take care, big hug

x

 

[Carer1]

Hi Margaret and welcome to TP. I'm sure you will receive much needed help and advice here.

keep coming back.

my thoughts are with you and hope you receive an appointment for your father soon.

regards

 

[thelma]

Hi Margaret and welcome. I am new here too. I still remember how relieved I was when they gave a definite diagnosis. This is the best site I have found for the care giver. Hang around for awhile. Thelma

 

[SheilaL]

Hi Margaret. You certainly have a lot on your plate - I do hope that you can get the help you sorely need. TP is a great place to come to get advice and to share your worries. That can help enormously. Lots of hugs xxxx

 

[Christin]

Hello and welcome to TP. As far as the correcting your father goes I would see how he responds. We went through a period when FIL would not take any correction at all and responded really badly, became angry and cross with us. We decided the best way was distraction.

Best wishes to you all. xx