let down

[lorrainet]

just wanted you all to know the way my dad was neglected when he had to go into emergency respite in march. my mum was rushed into hospital and although my sister and i were his main carers (we always stayed until he was asleep) because of children we were unable to stay all night once he was asleep that would be him most times until morning and mum was fine with that. the night my mum went into hospital my sister stayed with dad the following morning his carers came to wash him and dress him they strip washed him he had no sores on him at all they even bathed his feet in a bowl. i rang his social worker and she arranged for us to take him to a home for respite at this point we were all very emotionally drained mum was seriously ill we thought we were going to lose her. social worker said she had found it hard to find anywhere but this one was a good drive away. my sister and i drove to home my dad walked into home bless him he didnt have a clue what was going on.On arrival i thought it was a bit grubby but it was old and so not as modern as other homes. the carers seemed very nice were concerned about mum and said not to worry about dad as they would look after him. We left in tears but felt reassured dad would be ok when we phoned later that day they said dad had settled in well .we were at the hospital most of time ss said not to beat ourselves up about not going to see dad he was fine but to concentrate on mum. we phoned all the time and really thought he was ok. one of the carers said dad was not interacting but we didnt worry about that.then he phoned and asked if dad had ever had a stroke as he seemed to be leaning to one side we said no they said they would keep an eye on him and when we phoned later that day they said he was fine. my older sister then went to see him whilst we were at hospital with mum she phoned in tears saying dad was not himself he totally seemed out of it he had asked if dad had been bathed he wasnt even on list. we phoned the home to tell them we were coming to see dad the following morning(i think now we shouldnt have warned them) on arrival dad was sitting in wheel chair at table carers were sitting with him.They said he was in wheel chair as he was having difficulty walking we thought it was another stage of his ad they were lovely or so we thought dad kept reaching his hand out we got him a drink he drank it so quickly we got him another one he was dehydrated! in our naivety we thought they were doing best for dad we were still worried sick about mum. On the 9th morning of dad being there carer phoned and said dad had got some blisters on his feet and were going to call doctor we kept in contact all day and was told doctor had prescribed anti biotics over the phone and that dad was ok. we had just got back from hospital when they phoned to say they had to call ambulance and they kept saying they were sorry. my sister and i arrived at a&e before dad within 10 mins we were called in when i saw dad i cried i thought he was dying his breathing was shallow he was yellow(sepsis) doctors were all over him putting in no end of drips. they asked us how long dad had been in home and then showed us his feet, top of thigh, and back he had terrible terrible pressure sores grade 4 hospital took photos doctor said he doubted my dad had even had his socks changed when in home no wonder he couldnt walk. luckily they managed to stabilize him . the following day i phoned ss told her what had happened she told me to phone police(however they said it wasnt anything to do with them) and to write a letter of complaint which i did. we were now visiting mum and dad not knowing if they would be coming home. dad was in for four weeks but never really got over it he wasnt allowed home had to go into nursing care mum came home about the week before dad. there have been four safe guard meetings since the fifth is tom and im really going to explode if carers continue to lie. i cant tell you how good ss have been at the last meeting the carer denied phoning and asking about dad having stroke, they are saying he was put on pressure mattress i know he wasnt. ss have told me that my dad had fallen twice whilst there something we werent informed about. they also have said care plan notes have been added too since the first time they looked at them. i cant tell you how angry i am as we really believed the carers cared! dad never really got over this and died 5 weeks ago. he was a vunerable adult needing prompting for everything they just left him. my dad couldnt defend himself but my god im going to fight for him this cant happen to anyone else. lorraine x

 

[lorrainet]

forgot to say home are trying to say pressure sores can go from grade1 to grade4 in twenty mins has anyone else heard of that? re the letter of complaint they replied saying my dad had the best possible care and kindly sent me the bill which you can imagine what i did with that.

 

[Onlyme]

kindly sent me the bill which you can imagine what i did with that.

I rather hope they can't sit down.

How disgraceful for them to let your Dad get into this state and unforgiveable for them to lie about it. I hope that SS have them removed from every list going and closed down.

You can't bring your Dad back but as you say you can fight for other innocents who might be left in the home's care.

 

[elaine n]

Oh Lorraine, what a dreadful story, I'm so sorry. You're right, you can't bring your dad back but you can certainly help to stop them continuing and subjecting anyone else to this xxxxelaine

 

[lorrainet]

thanks elaine the home has been stopped having new residents but there are still poor vunerable people there im hoping that when all these meetings have finished the home will be closed i know i will continue to fight so this never happens again

 

[Scottie45]

Dear Lorraine

So sorry to hear that your Dad has passed away and i am totally outraged about events before he passed.I wish you all the best in your fight with the care home.Hope your mum is doing well from her hospital stay.Take care Marian xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Dear Lorraine:
I am so sorry to hear what has happened to your Dad; its especially hard when you were hell bent on caring for your Mum at that time too. How uncaring can some human beings be, even when paid to do so

I am pleased your SW is supporting you. I do feel this needs reporting to the CQC:
http://www.cqc.org.uk/contactus.cfm

Take care

 

[scarletpauline]

That is absolutely and utterly disgraceful, your poor Dad, I am so sorry, hope you find the strength to fight this, love Pauline xxx

 

[Jo1958]

Lorraine, hi
My sincere condolences for the loss of your dad, how terribly tragic that all this happened within such a short time and with SS in attendance. Shameful.
My heart goes out to you and your family for your loss and the fight you have ahead.
Kind regards, Jo

 

[sistermillicent]

That's a dreadful thing,I am so sorry for you and all your family and especially your dad, no one should suffer like that.
Good luck with the meeting tomorrow, I know how you would like to explode with rage at the lying carers, what a shame you can;t publish the name of the "care" home here.
With love

 

[daddave]

Hi
So very sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. It proves times dont change, i lost my dad nearly 3 years ago. He was put in an assesment unit and died within 3 months. The treatment of him will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I really hope you can get justice for what has happened my thoughts are with you xx

 

[TinaT]

God bless you for fighting this! I'm so very sorry this terrible treatment went on. It is hard to believe in this day and age that a Care Home can be so neglectful and in such dereliction of their duty of care.
Please do let us know how you progrewss with this. It is too late to help your poor dad but I do hope that you can prevent this from continuing with the poor souls still in their clutches.

xxTinaT

 

[mowood]

I'm so sorry to hear of what happened to your dad, I feel outraged and angry.

Have you seen the CQC report for the home that was available when your dad was placed there by SS? Did SS know of any problems with the home at the time they placed your dad there?

Was it a nursing home your dad was in? If it was I would consider making a formal complaint to the Nursing and Midwifery Council against the nurses who were supposed to be caring for him.

I wish you luck with the meeting tomorrow, please let us know what happens.

 

[lorrainet]

bless you all for your kind words i cant tell you how much it helps! dads meeting today lasted 2 and half hours and i really feel as if we are finally getting somewhere! after reading the staff rotas it turns out one of the carers thar signed dads care plan wasnt even working that day!!! the ball is now rolling cqc have been informed hopefully i am going to get some justice for dad.

 

[Christin]

I am so sorry to read your post and I don't envy you the fight you have ahead. Good luck. If nothing else, you may be able to stop other vulnerable people being treated this way.

I have often thought that there should be something similiar to trip advisor (hotel reviews) where families and friends could write reviews on care homes. My goodness, wouldn't that open up a can of worms.

 

[sistermillicent]

hope you are ok Lorrainet, you must be worn out after all that has happened and especially that long meeting yesterday. I too hope this leads to justice for your dad, and that it never happens to anyone else, but, sadly, i have been looking round care homes and nursing homes lately and think some of them don[t have a clue.

love Pippa

 

[daddave]

Hi
I totally agree with naming the places, I did on my profile but it was removed by the this site.

 

[TinaT]

Again, God bless you for persuing this most distressing fight. I know it must have taken so much out of you. Please God that your fight brings some justice for the poor souls who continue to experience such downright deception and negligence of duty.

xxTinaT

 

[geum123]

Dear Lorrainet,
I am so sorry to hear that your Dad has passed away.
Please accept my condolences.

It is a cruel world we live in that allows such deplorable treatment to happen to vulnerable people, and I am so very sad that it happened to your Dad.
To anyones Mum or Dad.

I would like to wish you every strength possible to pursue this injustice, and hope that eventually those who are responsible are publicly brought to account.

Love Geum xxx

 

[bensoncat300]

Grrrr and people wonder why we struggle on without getting help
This is exactly why - because at least when we are with our loved ones all the time, no matter how hard it is - we know they are safe, looked after and loved.
I relented a while ago after many people saying why dont you get your mum and uncle in for some respite - you need a break. So I took them to a home for three nights. After the second day the home rang asking me to fetch them out as they had not settled. So much for 24 hour care. They were in such a state when I fetched them I dont think either of them recognised me. I wont go into details of what happened but before all of this I used to fetch my uncle down to mums and we all spent the day together each day but now I cannot leave mum with my uncle any more as she is frightened of him, so it has made it much harder - all for trying to get a break, I wish I had not bothered.
You go girl and get justice for your dad - it will make you feel heaps better and hopefully help other residents along the way