Hi, not been here for a while since my Dad had dementia in 2007/2008. Now trying to deal with Mom. Mom now in a nursing home and was diagnosed with dementia about 3 months ago. She has been able to talk and conversational but lately has become very quiet, ie. not much conversation being raised, only answers questions when you ask her. Last few days, doesn't seem to be able to hear us? She is not answering at all or showing any signs of response when we talk to her. She has a brief period of a few minutes where she is responsive. Also, now saying the dreaded 'please help me'. Heard this so many times in homes, hospitals etc. Her meds have been changed but only in the last 3 days so I don't think this would have any effect ?? Can anyone shed any light on the hearing thing, as I think she can hear it, but is unable to respond. I've been through all this with Dad, but so depressing having to deal with it all again. What's the best thing to say/do when she is asking for help. Any advice appreciated. Thanks all, I remember this forum being very helpful before.
Vacant, unresponsive
- Thread starter stardust123
- Start date
Dear Stardust 123 - What a very sad post and I am so sorry to see that you are now going through with your mother what you have earlier experienced with your father. I can remember Brian having vacant and unresponsive spells right after his stroke back in December 2007, and it was following that (he was in hospital for seven weeks) that his vascular dementia began.
Sadly I cannot offer much other than my sympathy. Her "Please help me" must be harrowing to witness. I do hope others will be along soon who can give you more help and advice than I can.
Thinking of you and sending love, Nan XXX
Sadly I cannot offer much other than my sympathy. Her "Please help me" must be harrowing to witness. I do hope others will be along soon who can give you more help and advice than I can.
Thinking of you and sending love, Nan XXX
Hello Stardust.
Am so sorry to hear your mum has deteriorated so rapidly, and this is your second journey with this awful disease, which must make it harder for you.
could it be an infection, as you probably already know not everyone with dementia shows classic signs, sometimes the only sign is, dementia symptoms worsen.
sometimes meds react very quickly ie vast improvement or downturn much sooner than you would expect, we often knew within a couple of days with mum that a med was unsuitable
or it could be other meds your mum is on need adjusting
I do hope it's not what you fear.
and yes towards the end my mum was often unresponcive, but as I was with mum so long, my instincts told me mum could hear.
just keep reasuring your mum you are helping, and you know she is not feeling well, i always found when I told mum, I knew she wastnt well and the doc would be in soon, it did relax mum
Am so sorry to hear your mum has deteriorated so rapidly, and this is your second journey with this awful disease, which must make it harder for you.
could it be an infection, as you probably already know not everyone with dementia shows classic signs, sometimes the only sign is, dementia symptoms worsen.
sometimes meds react very quickly ie vast improvement or downturn much sooner than you would expect, we often knew within a couple of days with mum that a med was unsuitable
or it could be other meds your mum is on need adjusting
I do hope it's not what you fear.
and yes towards the end my mum was often unresponcive, but as I was with mum so long, my instincts told me mum could hear.
just keep reasuring your mum you are helping, and you know she is not feeling well, i always found when I told mum, I knew she wastnt well and the doc would be in soon, it did relax mum
Sad to hear about both parents. That is tough going.
I assume that you have spoken to the Nursing Home staff and her GP that is allocated to the home to see if there is anything else that the medicos can do for her? if you havent please do because you say that her meds have been changed, do you know why they were changed and what other medication she is on. I am sorry but is she walking, eating and drinking ok., you have not said in your post so its hard to get a handle on her condition, but the repetitive speech is quite a common area, but very upsetting for you to try and understand how you can help her. I wonder if taking advice from the nursing staff Manager and the GP how best you can help her would be the best thing as I am not sure from your post. what is she like when you are not there, ask the nursing staff, does she sleep at night or what happens. Please approach them and ask to discuss this with somebody senior, they can be very helpful at times like these and advise.
I assume that you have spoken to the Nursing Home staff and her GP that is allocated to the home to see if there is anything else that the medicos can do for her? if you havent please do because you say that her meds have been changed, do you know why they were changed and what other medication she is on. I am sorry but is she walking, eating and drinking ok., you have not said in your post so its hard to get a handle on her condition, but the repetitive speech is quite a common area, but very upsetting for you to try and understand how you can help her. I wonder if taking advice from the nursing staff Manager and the GP how best you can help her would be the best thing as I am not sure from your post. what is she like when you are not there, ask the nursing staff, does she sleep at night or what happens. Please approach them and ask to discuss this with somebody senior, they can be very helpful at times like these and advise.
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Stardust, hi
So sorry to hear that you are now on this journey with you mum, it's very distressing not being able to communicate.
I found with my dad and also now with my hubby that it can sometimes take ages for a reply to a question, I used to carry on talking and then get an answer about half an hour later, I've learnt a bit more patience now and silence doesn't bother me as much, so I wait and usually get an answer. Some days are better than others.
Take care of yourself and keep posting, best wishes, Jo
So sorry to hear that you are now on this journey with you mum, it's very distressing not being able to communicate.
I found with my dad and also now with my hubby that it can sometimes take ages for a reply to a question, I used to carry on talking and then get an answer about half an hour later, I've learnt a bit more patience now and silence doesn't bother me as much, so I wait and usually get an answer. Some days are better than others.
Take care of yourself and keep posting, best wishes, Jo
Hello, I am sorry to read your post but with regard to the loss of hearing has anyone checked inside her ears. FIL suffers often with very waxy ears and has them 'washed' from time to time. He has also had quite bad ear infections before which needed antibiotics. It might be worth just checking. Very best wishes to you all x
Hello Stardust,
When you say the meds have been changed, what was changed? If they changed the meds because your mother is less responsive, it may take more than 3 days to notice any improvement. I think it would be beneficial if you know exactly what the meds are and why.
When you say the meds have been changed, what was changed? If they changed the meds because your mother is less responsive, it may take more than 3 days to notice any improvement. I think it would be beneficial if you know exactly what the meds are and why.
Hi all, sitting here crying at the minute after reading all your lovely messages of support and encouragement. I'll come back and resond later when I've composed myself!x
Hi all, Mom does have a water infection, she started antibiotics last night. Still quite unreponsive, but today she could hear me when I shouted in her ear, so a little better than yesterday. I am questioning why the meds have been changed, so I hope to get an answer on this in next few days. I hope she will be much better after a few days on the antibiotics. Thanks all so much, will post again soon. x
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