Update on David

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Vonny

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Feb 3, 2009
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Telford
Dear Jan, if only this can continue! I like to think of it as a reprieve for a special person who contributed so much to ill people. If anyone deserves it, David does xx
 

DeborahBlythe

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Dec 1, 2006
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She said he was fine, made some ridiculous conversation but he was trying. She had not mentioned me at all, but he said 'where did you say Jan was today?' She told him I would be getting wet playing golf and his eyes went to ceiling :rolleyes::rolleyes: - as if to say what a fool!

For months and months there has been no recognition of my life or our girls - we are finding it unbelievable.

Isn't that fantastic, Jan? :) How amazing! xx
 

Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Morning Jan,

I suspect that this change brings with it very mixed feelings. I imagine part of you feels ecstatic that David really knows you (including being silly playing golf in the rain:D) and also a sense of huge loss at not being able to actually 'have' the life that David is remembering!!

Personally, I am so glad that you share this part of your journey with dementia with us all because it helps to highlight how each journey as a carer is different. Your journey has always seemed like a long rollercoaster ride with long stops at the top and bottom. It's like the rollercoaster takes you to the top and you have to wait and wait to see how things develop and you just get used to it WHEN the rollercoaster then plummets you down to the bottom where you, again, wait and wait to see how things develop and just get used to it........... and this has been going on and on in that way for a long time. You are truly amazing Jan in somehow managing and coping with this kind of experience.

Love
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Derbyshire
Thanks Helen - its good to be told I am amazing :):):)

IF I am then I am jogging along with an incredible number of equally amazing people, all sharing, which does make things easier.
 

connie

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Mar 7, 2004
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Frinton-on-Sea
Dear Jan, your last couple of posts have been so positive.

For months and months there has been no recognition of my life or our girls - we are finding it unbelievable

At times like this we really do have to just 'rejoice for the moment'.

Hope it continues for a while.

Love n'hugs.
 

sue38

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Mar 6, 2007
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Jan, I'm so pleased you have a bit of the old David back, even if it's only for a while.

The playing golf in the rain reaction made me smile. Although my dad lost his speech some of his facial expressions could paint a thousand words - especially the :rolleyes: type.
 

Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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SW Scotland
Jan, it's wonderful news that you have some of the 'old' David back, that must have bucked you up tremendously.

I hope he stays with you for a while longer.

Love,
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Derbyshire
David has been up and down since my last entry. Before going away for 2 days he was very confused and seriously hallucinating. My friend visited during my absence and found him very lucid; during a tv programme he commented 'very imaginative'!

I visited today for 3 hrs. He was wide awake - constantly saying 'I miss you'. Then said we had not done enough in our lives and wished we had done more . I convinced him he achieved much in his working life, in retirement he mastermineded building a day hospice; reminded him about our two lovely daughters. Then said 'few have achieved so much' - he smiled and looked content.

Then he said he could not have much longer to live; then the discussion went into what I would do and how would I cope.

It was a hard visit but strangely now inbedded in my soul for ever.
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Oh Jan. Lovely and painful at the same time.
Lovely David could feel some pride in his achievements and very painful that he might have some insight into his state of health.
How must you be feeling tonight.
Love xx
 

larivy

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Apr 19, 2009
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Thinking of you jan it must have been nice in one way that you could talk about all that David had done sending you a hug love larivy
 

DeborahBlythe

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Dec 1, 2006
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The afternoon was a sort of gift Jan. Very poignant but so wonderful too.
Love and hugs, Deborah x
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Derbyshire
Wedding Anniversary:

Its our 39th on 19 October - tomorrow!!

I feel sad but hardly want to recognise this special day.

Of the 39 years of very happy marriage the last 10 have been fraught with dementia issues. It is awful but then there are young onset folk who have it far worse than me.

Today David was very grey, looked strange, was hallucinating and I felt desperately unhappy, mainly because I was stupid enough to reflect on our lovely times together.

I read Bruce's post and realised that whatever happens from now on I can rest reasonably easy knowing I have done my utmost and loved with my heart and soul. End stage dementia and death will not change that.

At present I am on a gentle rollercoaster, some days ok others pretty depressing.

Hopefully I can post a brighter one next time!
 

TinaT

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Sep 27, 2006
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Costa Blanca Spain
Dear Becky,

My mantra through all of this is 'one day at a time'. I don't think we could get through this without developing a mental block which makes us so appreciate the good and push away the bad. It truely is torture to see our loved ones going through so much.

My thoughts are with you.

xxTinaT
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
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Dear Jan,

I hear what you are saying about the rollercoaster being gentle at the moment although I've never known a gentle one:eek:

It's hard to know what to say about your wedding anniversary Jan because these occasions are fraught with all kinds of conflicting emotions. I can say that I will be thinking of you and imagining that if it is anything like our later wedding anniversaries, it will be a non-event:( You are a marvellous wife Jan.

Love
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Its our 39th on 19 October - tomorrow!!

I feel sad but hardly want to recognise this special day.

But you have recognized it Jan, simply by posting and acknowledging it. David may not be able to , but you have.

I will count our wedding anniversaries, as long as Dhiren lives.

In sickness and in health we are still married and although we too have had 10 years of dementia we are still together.

Sad perhaps but that`s life.

I hope there is some pleasure in your day tomorrow Jan, even if they are happy memories tinged with sadness.

Love xx
 
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