Feeling so Empty

langtry

Registered User
Feb 23, 2009
28
0
Portsmouth
My wife passed away on 20th July and I still cannot believe it.I am missing her so much,impossible to put it into words.I have cared for her for about two years and now,even though I have a loving and supportive family around me,I am so lonely,feel as if I have been dumped on an island in the middle of the ocean,horrid feeling.We had been together for 63 years and now this wicked and cruel illness has taken her from me.Some days I can just about get by and others I am so low,quite beside myself,and wondering what to do next.
I am doing a sponsored walk later this month in memory of all that we had together.
Waking to an empty house in the morning,sheer hell, at night,bloody awful.Makes one wonder what it is all about.
I know so many of you have suffered,but just needed to get this off my chest right now,hope noone minds too much.
Langtry
 

elaine n

Registered User
Jun 1, 2010
4,565
0
west country uk
Hello Langtry
I'm so sorry to hear about you're wife, you're loneliness must be awful to cope with. I don't know what to say to you really but just wanted you to know we're always here on TP when you need someone to talk to
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxelaine
 

Jo1958

Registered User
Mar 31, 2010
3,724
0
Yorkshire
Oh Langtry,
Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss, it is so soon for you to be getting used to your new situation, my heart goes out to you.
Please take care of yourself and don't rush the process of mourning.
Kind regards, Jo
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,443
0
Kent
Hello Langtry

I can only imagine how you feel and I`m sure you feel 100 times worse than I imagine.

63 years is three generations of being together, three life times. How can you feel anything other than how you are feeling now.

I can only say how sorry I am. xx
 

wendyviv

Registered User
Jun 18, 2009
140
0
essex. frinton
I can't imagine how you must feel after such a long time, I hope talking point has helped, I know it is not much but my prayers are for you, love wendy
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
Hello Langtry:
Its good you can offload your feelings here, so pleased you felt able to do so.

My husband is in a NH and I miss him dreadfully, BUT at least I still have him and can visit. When he goes there will be a void which you are obviously experiencing now. It must be awful and I can only hope that time will ease it for you.

Glad to hear you are doing the sponsored walk and I hope that relieves some of your pain.

Please keep posting here if it helps.
 

JackMac

Registered User
Jun 26, 2010
520
0
west midlands
Hi Langtry

so sorry to hear about your wife. It must be just awful. To be with someone for that long, I can't even imagine the pain you must feel now.
Have you thought about talking to others who are going through the same thing? I always think that the only people who know the same pain, are the people who have been through it too. Are there any support groups where you live where you could just get together with some other people?
It might be too early for you but maybe down the track it might help.
Have you talked to your family about how you feel? I know that you might not want to worry them but I know that I'm happier when my dad is confiding in me, rather than worrying about what's going through his head. Then I can do more to help him.

I really feel for you. Keep coming here as I am sure there any many people here who will have an idea how you are feeling.

Jack
 

Willowgill

Registered User
Mar 29, 2008
91
0
South Yorkshire
Hello Langtry - I am sorry to hear of your loss and whilst I can't empathize entirely I do know how hard it is - my mother in law died in Feb after 65 years of marriage and my father in law says the same as you. He nursed her through the last months of her illness (she had cancer not dementia) and just misses her so much. They had been together so long and even worked together before they retired. One of the first things he did was to go out and find a dog at the local rescue centre. They have now become inseparable - the dog had been found at the side of it's deceased master emaciated and close to death- he is now a picture of health and follows Dad everywhere. He has just recently found his snooker cue and has started to go to the snooker club again - it gets him out of the house and with other people. I hope the sponsored walk helps and that you will be with other people perhaps in a similar situation who you can talk to. Small steps to begin with.
Gill
 

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
801
0
Buckinghamshire
Hello Langry,

Thank you for sharing your loss and your pain. I, too, have lost my husand to Alzheimer's, and although I can't quite match your long marriage, I do miss him terribly.
Grief is the price we pay for our deep love, and for me, reminding myself of the many happy years we had helps a little. It doesn't take away the loneliness, but at least it reminds me that it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.

Your grief may never go away, but you will get used to your new situation little by little. And as the good memories return, it will become easier for you to talk about them with your family, which is therapeutic.

"Enjoy" the Memory Walk, it is such a lovely way to remember our loved ones. And force yourself to leave the house at least once every day and to try as many new (or old) activities as possible.

Best wishes!
 

piedwarbler

Registered User
Aug 3, 2010
7,189
0
South Ribble
It must be like losing a part of yourself after having so long together; far longer together, than apart. My heart goes out to you - hope you can find some peace in your heart that you had so much happiness together and shared your lives for so long.

x
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Dear Langtry,

I have been experiencing my inner depths of pain and aloneness at the loss of my husband Langtry and we didn't share anywhere near the amount of time you did with your wife. I would say that what I have been experiencing is some of the worst feelings in my entire life. I am only helped by being able to use Talking Point and by seeing a bereavement counsellor and in my case it does seem to be helping a lot.

The sponsored walk is a wonderful thing to do and I only hope that Talking Point can help to support you through this very lonely part of your life.

Love and best wishes
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
0
Dear Langtry,

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad, but not surprised you are feeling like that because this is such a dreadful loss for you.
Look after yourself, take any help people offer.

love
 

Bronwen

Registered User
Jan 8, 2010
602
0
85
Bristol
Dear Langtry...Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss..such a long time to be together,but what memories you have and in time, I do hope they help you.

I have been married for 52 years and may have to agree to my husband going into care in the near future, and that thought just fills me with so much sadness, I can't imagine the grief you are feeling but I hope the support from your friends here on TP will help..please keep writing.

love
Bronwen x