Nursing Home resident violent to others & visitors.

[Peapod]

Hi everyone,

Just wondering what I should do (if anything).
Mum and I visit Dad in his nursing home at least a couple of times a week - and I can't fault the place - it's wonderful
BUT there's a new resident who can be very aggressive to the staff, other residents and us as visitors.

This lady (who I'll call Joan) regularly hits out, pinches hard enough to draw blood and throws things at people (inc. hot coffee) and it's come to the point where my frail old Mum is scared to visit.

Joan does apparently have 'one to one' care for a few hours a day, but the rest of the time she's obviously free to wander and she's very fast and very strong.

She grabbed and pinched me today and I was asked to sign a sort of incident book by the staff, which I did.

I'm thinking a quiet word with the Manager is the way to go, but I feel a bit bad about 'complaining'.....

I mean, what can anyone do?

 

[Izzy]

Sorry I have no experience of care homes. I would think, though, that a word with the manager would not be out of place. There must be other people worried or scared. It's difficult. Good luck. Izzy x

 

[thatwoman]

This is a really tricky one. My Dad is in a nursing home with some violent residents so I know how you feel. While you can't really complain, you have to take your Mum's fears into consideration. When I take my stepmother to visit Dad (it's a rare event, as they didn't live together before he got dementia), I phone in advance and they put us in the quiet lounge away from all the hustle of the main lounge. Otherwise we go to his room, and generally that seems to protect her from the worst excesses of behaviour.
I know that one resident was very violent to staff and visitors, and he had to be sedated on a couple of occasions. That seems to have passed now, and he's in different routines, but they said he had got into a pattern of attacking people which had to be broken by using medication. I know they kept rigorous records of all the occasions he attacked people, but that was to show the psychiatrist when they needed advice about what to do. I was really worried that they would reconsider whether they could keep him: if they did have to send him elsewhere, I'd have worried that my Dad might be next! Dad is no longer violent (very often), and the other resident who caused problems has stopped being aggressive too. I think it's often a part of settling in, but you can't let your Mum be afraid to visit.
I hope you can explain how you feel to the manager.

Good luck with it. Let us know how you get on,
Love Sue x

 

[Peapod]

Thanks for that.
Mum and I thought about sitting in Dad's room when we visit, but he has behavioral issues of his own in that he keeps trying to stand every couple of minutes and is at risk of falling as he no longer has the use of his legs....so we try and keep to the 'busy' areas of the Home where help is readily at hand.
The staff do try to protect everyone from Joan, but she is very mobile and wanders constantly.

 

[AllyB]

My dad was in a home and we noticed that new residents were often badly behaved at first, but almost always behaved better once they settled in after a few days/weeks.

I'm sure the staff are monitoring the new resident and if she frightens and upsets others that will be a great concern, and if the behaviour doesn't improve she may be asked to move on or be reassessed for medication etc.

It is upsetting for all concerned, and I think you should feel free to talk to the staff or manager about it.

Hoping the situation soon improves

Alison

 

[Carolyn1]

this helps me too.

Thanks for this advise everyone. My mums care home is the same. Mum hit out at a lady telling her to 'shut up', this is so not like mum, but as someone mentioned on here it was fear of the new surroundings. She has been there for two weeks now. There are some who she is scared off, I have tried to tell her that the staff are always on hand and that the person can't help it. I would be afraid if it was me. I always say that I believe her, because to be honest its true and if that was me sitting there I would want someone to believe me.
I will monitor our situation too and see what happens as time goes on.
I had to stop a lady taking my hand bag today which was on the floor next to me, I just said, oh thankyou and took it off her!,she was ok with this but I have seen her be a little violent with some. This is all so new to us as a family as well as mum having to settle in to her new surroundings.

 

[ChristineR62]

I would suggest having a word with the manager, and if necessary, registering a formal complaint. If there's no record of these incidents, they can't assess just how violent and aggressive the resident is, and how frequently, whereas if there is a record, it may bring things to a head and they will have to review whether or not this is the most suitable care for the resident's needs.

I should add that there's a lady in the home where my mum is, who went in a few days after my mum; she wanders a lot, and I have seen her hit other residents. At one point, I did hear that there was supposed to be a re-assessment of her needs to see if she should stay at the home, but I don't know if that happened. All I know is the lady is still at the home.

 

[Onlyme]

If the staff are asking you to fill in an accident report it does sound as if they are trying to keep a record all everything that is going on. If this continues I would hope they use that information in a case to have her reassessed and moved if necessary.

I think its dreadful to be frightened to visit your loved ones.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I'm coming from the other side of the argument. My mother was the one punching, hitting, scratching etc etc etc. We spent a lot of time tweaking her meds, trying to calm her without making her into a zombie. She was sectioned from the nursing home twice and the second time spent 7 weeks in hospital being assessed.

I felt so badly for the people Mum attacked. It was one of the most stressful times for me, almost as stressful as when she was first diagnosed (she was violent then too).

I haven't any help to offer, just that speaking to the manager is a good idea. I'm glad you don't resent the person and understand that it is the disease but you do have to ensure your mother feels safe visiting.

These times do pass but they are enormously difficult.

 

[Peapod]

Thanks again for your input everyone.
We visited Dad today, but it was the manager's day off, so we'll have to wait until next week now to have a chat.

In the meantime we sat as usual in the main lounge and made a 'mini barricade' of chairs around ourselves

Sounds daft doesn't it - but it worked!

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Peapod,
Whatever works is a good thing! That sounds like it was a simple solution to a potentially huge problem.