Grandmother near the end.....

[LinzyE]

Hi, Ive not been on here for a long long time but am getting rather upset and just needed to vent all my feelings.

Two weeks ago now my grandmother was taken from home to emergency care home as my grandfather was no longer able to give her the care she was needed. she was put on the 'end of life care' have visited her severals times in her new carehome, (which i can not knock, there great with her and the family) but she looks awful. Her hands and feet are blue, she has stopped communicating completely, she doesnt open her eyes and last week she started making awful 'rattling' noises when she's breathing.

Everytime i leave, i say goodbye expecting that to be the last time. My grandfather has been a rock to her and he has now realised with the help of his family and nurses that this is 'it' he is giving her reassurance's that he'll be okay and so will we.

I havent really got any questions i just needed to put it all down i guess.

Sorry for the ramble.

Thank you

Lindsay

 

[PostTenebrasLux]

Oh LIndsay,
Life is so hard and Death likewise. I really feel for you.
May your grandmother be as comfortable as possible and I hope you get to spend good time with her.
I warmly recommend the works of a Swiss psychiatrist, a pioneer in death and dying whose books can be read in any order:
"on Death and dying"
"On Life after Death"
"On Grief and Grieving".
You seem to be grieving now which is perfectly normal with someone with a terminal illness, so that when the time comes, grief also becomes relief that pain and suffering are over.
Thinking of you at such a hard and emotional time.
Martina

 

[nicoise]

Hello LinzyE,

I'm very sorry to hear your sad news about your grandmother - a very difficult and miserable time for you and your family.

It seems that in the last few days a number of TP members are going through the same sad time as yourselves, and that they've been inundated with the caring thoughts of the many people trying to deal with this horrible disease.

I'm thinking of you, and wish you strength to cope at this sad time - keep coming back to get support from the wide network of those who understand.

Best wishes,
xxx

 

[Nebiroth]

This may be some small help, in that the breathing "rattles" you describe are relatively common as the end approaches and do not generally indicate distress or pain in the person.

 

[lin1]

Hi LinzE
Its not an easy time for you.
Just to reassure you all the signs you mentioned can happen near the end, and d not mean your nan is suffering.

Im glad your nan is being well cared for

Oh you ramble here as much as you like ,it does help and we do listen xxx

 

[Mary Roberts]

Dear Lindsay,

My father passed away two days ago, so I know how you are feeling right now. What you describe does sound like the end is approaching. I found a link on here which describes the physical changes, which helped me a great deal as I knew what to expect. Sorry I can't find it right now, perhaps someone else can.

Please be strong to support your grandfather at this sad time, and continue to hold your grandmother's hand and speak to her. Even though my father couldn't communicate in his final few days, I think he realised I was there, just little signs like patting my hand lightly, and trying to turn his head a little when he heard my voice.

Wishing you all the best,

Mary

 

[sallyc]

Hi Lindsay. I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you.

 

[turbo]

Hello Lindsay, what a very difficult time for you and your family. Thinking of you.

Turbo

 

[LinzyE]

Grandma died yesterday afternoon peacefully with her husband and sons around her. she just fell asleep.

Thank you for all your kind words.

Many thanks

Linzy

I will contiue to come on this tread as you are all so lovely and maybe one day i can help somebody too.

Thanks again

xxx

 

[lotus]

god bless

1m giving you a warm hug right now. i know you are devastated. i know words are not sufficient. i imagine my mothers soul being released at last - set free.hope you can feel comfort in that.

 

[turbo]

Hello Lindsay, I am sorry to hear the very sad news about your grandmother. Please keep in touch and let us know how you and your family are getting on.

Turbo

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you. Izzy x

 

[Mary Roberts]

Dear Linzy,

So sorry to hear that your grandmother has passed away. Keep looking at this site because it does give you strength. Sending you love,

Mary

 

[christine_batch]

Dear Lindsay,

Sending sincere condolences on your Grandmother's passing.

May you be granted the strength to get you through the coming days.

Christine

 

[BeckyJan]

I am so sorry to hear this Linzy - my deepest sympathies to you all

 

[larivy]

my thoughts are with you love Larivy

 

[JanD]

So sorry to hear of your loss LinzyE...
my thoughts are with you..

Jan x

 

[PostTenebrasLux]

My warmest sympathy Lindsay at the loss of your grandmother. Even though you grandfather and their sons were with her, I know how hard it is for you all. May you all gain courage and strength from each other.
Martina

 

[LinzyE]

Thank you for all your kind words....

funeral's on monday so got to hold it together then.

 

[PostTenebrasLux]

Will be thinking of you extra on Monday.
I hope you get some sleep in-between all your responsibilities. I am sure you have a lot to deal with.
Martina