Worried about John
- Thread starter Skye
- Start date
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words.
Tina, how could I forget you? You and I were such good friends, and I missed you so much when you left. It's lovely to hear from you.
I can't settle this afternoon, just pottering, and answering the phone. And trying to forget the nastiness of a selfish and inconsiderate step-son. He's not important, but he has really shown himself up this week. Families, eh! Luckily I have the support of true friends.
Thanks again, I'm sure I'll come back again and again to read your messages on this and Karen's thread (thank you Karen!
)
Love to you all,
Tina, how could I forget you? You and I were such good friends, and I missed you so much when you left. It's lovely to hear from you.
I can't settle this afternoon, just pottering, and answering the phone. And trying to forget the nastiness of a selfish and inconsiderate step-son. He's not important, but he has really shown himself up this week. Families, eh! Luckily I have the support of true friends.
Thanks again, I'm sure I'll come back again and again to read your messages on this and Karen's thread (thank you Karen!
)Love to you all,
Dear Hazel,
I'm so sorry to hear the news about John, but glad that his passing was peaceful and that you were, as ever, by his side.
I also hope that you gain comfort from the knowledge that you did everything you possibly could for John.
Take care of yourself now.
I'm so sorry to hear the news about John, but glad that his passing was peaceful and that you were, as ever, by his side.
I also hope that you gain comfort from the knowledge that you did everything you possibly could for John.
Take care of yourself now.
Hazel, my friend, I am so sorry to read of John's passing, he looked and sounded like a perfect husband and gentleman.
I always liked to see your pictures of him. Your love for him shining through each post and the way you made sure he always recieved the correct care.
John is free of dementia now and I just know he will be proud of the way you loved and cared for him.
I am so pleased John and you recieved the best of care as this is what you both truly deserve.
Take care of yourself Hazel. xxxxx
I always liked to see your pictures of him. Your love for him shining through each post and the way you made sure he always recieved the correct care.
John is free of dementia now and I just know he will be proud of the way you loved and cared for him.
I am so pleased John and you recieved the best of care as this is what you both truly deserve.
Take care of yourself Hazel. xxxxx
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Dear Hazel,
I was very sorry to hear about John's passing. You have my sincere condolences.
Like many long-time members on TP, I felt that we on TP got to know you both through your posts and pictures.
I was looking back at some of your old posts and found this first thread that you created - a poem entitled Mist:
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=4155
John has escaped the swirling mists of dementia and is now beyond its power.
Take care,
I was very sorry to hear about John's passing. You have my sincere condolences.
Like many long-time members on TP, I felt that we on TP got to know you both through your posts and pictures.
I was looking back at some of your old posts and found this first thread that you created - a poem entitled Mist:
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=4155
John has escaped the swirling mists of dementia and is now beyond its power.
Take care,
I was saddened to read this post Hazel,i along with Tina and other past TP`ers i know,still dip in to update on a few people who may not remember us , but have become dear to us , and john`s thread was up there at the top. I have always admired you for the care and devotion you have shown to John , even though he could not be home ,you did every thing possible for him and i hope this comforts you some, in the painfull time ahead .i am sure you will find time to come back on TP for some time in the future,as others will benefit from your experience .you were a good moderater in the past and have continued to find the time to give your support where it was much needed . Take care of you now .
luv n hugs .
angela,xxxxx
luv n hugs .
angela,xxxxx
What a day!
Within a couple of hours of John's death, I had one step-son ranting and raving at me, calling me an evil woman, because I wouldn't let him organise the funeral. He was the one who departed immediately John was given two days to live, because he 'couldn't bear to watch his father die!' Not much support there then!
I've just had the eldest son, who started out being supportive, but then started on the same tack, and again started trying to browbeat me. Turns out they think John should be buried with their mother, and my 15 years of happiness and love written out.
Why are people so downright nasty? I know they've just lost their father, but I've just lost my husband. And how much care did any of them give him when we both needed support?
I've a meetung with the undertaker tomorrow, and eldest son yelled at me as he was leaving that he'll be here.
What I wanted to be a calm, peaceful celebration of John's life is turning into a battleground.
John would be so ashamed of them.
Within a couple of hours of John's death, I had one step-son ranting and raving at me, calling me an evil woman, because I wouldn't let him organise the funeral. He was the one who departed immediately John was given two days to live, because he 'couldn't bear to watch his father die!' Not much support there then!
I've just had the eldest son, who started out being supportive, but then started on the same tack, and again started trying to browbeat me. Turns out they think John should be buried with their mother, and my 15 years of happiness and love written out.
Why are people so downright nasty? I know they've just lost their father, but I've just lost my husband. And how much care did any of them give him when we both needed support?
I've a meetung with the undertaker tomorrow, and eldest son yelled at me as he was leaving that he'll be here.
What I wanted to be a calm, peaceful celebration of John's life is turning into a battleground.
John would be so ashamed of them.
Dear Hazel
Very sad to read about John's passing, my sincere condolences.
Uplifting to read your praise of the excellent care you received.
Sad for you that you are having to cope with the step-son upsets at this time. I hope the situation improves.
Loopiloo xx
Very sad to read about John's passing, my sincere condolences.
Uplifting to read your praise of the excellent care you received.
Sad for you that you are having to cope with the step-son upsets at this time. I hope the situation improves.
Loopiloo xx
Dear Hazel
So sorry to hear of John,s passing,so glad that John and you got such good care in John,s last days.Sorry to hear of the problems with your stepsons,stay strong and don,t let them browbeat you into anything,you are John,s wife now not their mother,you have the funeral that John wanted.You take good care love Marian xx
So sorry to hear of John,s passing,so glad that John and you got such good care in John,s last days.Sorry to hear of the problems with your stepsons,stay strong and don,t let them browbeat you into anything,you are John,s wife now not their mother,you have the funeral that John wanted.You take good care love Marian xx
Dear Hazel
Sending a huge hug xxxx
So very sorry to hear of John's death. The last week must have been so very difficult. The care sounded so compassionate, just how it should be and that must give you some comfort.
Oh my word, so sorry to hear about the family argument, which isn't needed at such a distressing time. Is it possible for a chaplain to be present at the undertaker's to soothe the situation and focus on the actual thanksgiving for John's life?
You are John's wife and have cared for him..... you and he took the vows.
More hugs xxx
Sending a huge hug xxxx
So very sorry to hear of John's death. The last week must have been so very difficult. The care sounded so compassionate, just how it should be and that must give you some comfort.
Oh my word, so sorry to hear about the family argument, which isn't needed at such a distressing time. Is it possible for a chaplain to be present at the undertaker's to soothe the situation and focus on the actual thanksgiving for John's life?
You are John's wife and have cared for him..... you and he took the vows.
More hugs xxx
Oh Hazel, I am so sorry that both stepson's should behave like this, you do not deserve it.
Hazel do things the way you want them, for I feel sure this is what John would have wanted.
It was you who gave of your love and attention to the care of John, especially when he no longer had the capacity to do so himself, you gave him your best Hazel.
Please don't let two people who sound as though they are acting out of guilt rather the compassion make you plan things that are not the way you want them to be.
Love and hugs. X xxxx
Hazel do things the way you want them, for I feel sure this is what John would have wanted.
It was you who gave of your love and attention to the care of John, especially when he no longer had the capacity to do so himself, you gave him your best Hazel.
Please don't let two people who sound as though they are acting out of guilt rather the compassion make you plan things that are not the way you want them to be.
Love and hugs. X xxxx
Oh dear, Hazel. You are going to have to dig deep now just when you have no reserves left yourself to dig into.
Emotions have to be flying everywhere just now – I hope the funeral director might be able to give you all some peace tomorrow – it can’t be the first time this situation has arisen, and hope they can act as a mediator and find some ‘middle ground’ which helps you all. (Did John ever make his wishes expressly known?)
Hazel, a celebration of John’s life does not have to be a ‘one-off’ occasion ... perhaps think about what YOU would want – and if it is very different to his sons’ wishes and there is no compromise to be reached ... think about arranging more than one occasion of celebration if necessary ...... for how YOU would want it to be ...... I am so sorry you have to deal with this upset on top of everything else.
My continued love and thoughts with you, Hazel,
Love, Karen, x
Emotions have to be flying everywhere just now – I hope the funeral director might be able to give you all some peace tomorrow – it can’t be the first time this situation has arisen, and hope they can act as a mediator and find some ‘middle ground’ which helps you all. (Did John ever make his wishes expressly known?)
Hazel, a celebration of John’s life does not have to be a ‘one-off’ occasion ... perhaps think about what YOU would want – and if it is very different to his sons’ wishes and there is no compromise to be reached ... think about arranging more than one occasion of celebration if necessary ...... for how YOU would want it to be ...... I am so sorry you have to deal with this upset on top of everything else.
My continued love and thoughts with you, Hazel,
Love, Karen, x
Dear Hazel i am so sorry that you have lost your beloved John, it was so obvious you love for each other and you did all you could to make his life as good as it could be, hope you can celerbrate his life as you wish and some coming together for you and Johns sons can be achieved, you are in my thoughts and prayers, Although i never met John i shall miss him, love Pam
Dear Hazel
I am so very sorry to read of John's passing. I feel I have shared your journey with John over the last 4 years since I joined TP, I have also always admired the way you have given time and support to others, for which thank you.
I do hope for you the celebration of John's life that you wish for, and I hope the little toads respect that.
Thinking of you,
Love
Cate xxxx
I am so very sorry to read of John's passing. I feel I have shared your journey with John over the last 4 years since I joined TP, I have also always admired the way you have given time and support to others, for which thank you.
I do hope for you the celebration of John's life that you wish for, and I hope the little toads respect that.
Thinking of you,
Love
Cate xxxx
Dear Hazel
I have only just read about the sad loss of John and am so sorry.
Please accept my condolences and I know he has gone to a better place away from this awful disease.
You are in my thoughts and am sending you loads of love and (((HUGS)))
I have only just read about the sad loss of John and am so sorry.
Please accept my condolences and I know he has gone to a better place away from this awful disease.
You are in my thoughts and am sending you loads of love and (((HUGS)))
