What to look at when choosing a nursing home?

[Jana]

Hello everyone, I hope it’s ok to pick your brains again! Mum is still in hospital under a section 3 order. We have been told by her social worker to start looking around nursing homes even though Mum hasn’t improved at all and it’s going to be quite some time before she is ready to leave hospital. We need to look at ones that have EMI Nursing facilities. Can anyone give me some idea what we should be looking at in the homes and what sort of questions we should be asking. I know that one of the main things should be how secure the homes are – we did try to look at one yesterday and when we arrived the door was wide open and we walked straight in. It no longer takes EMI patients and was basically just an elderly care home but I still felt concerns that residents could just wander away.

We've just got home from visiting her and she refused to stay in her room (she usually refuses to leave it) so we spent our time there sitting in reception because she thought if we stayed there she would be able to leave with us. We ended up with Mum between us, a lady who like our company on one side of us who kept breaking into tears and a man on the other side who was asleep on my shoulder! My three children - son aged 33, daughter who is 31 and 24 weeks pregnant and youngest son who is a very young 21 year old, have all said they would like to visit. I prefer they don't see her like this but my husband thinks they should. Any opinions will be very greatfully received. Thanks, Jan

 

[sue38]

Hi Jana,

This recent thread may help

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=25287

 

[MJW]

Nursing or EMI?

Hi Jana,

I am not quite clear from your post whether you are looking for a nursing home or an EMI care home. It sounds like your mother is still fairly mobile, and if security is a concern then perhaps an EMI unit would be more appropriate?

There are dual-registered homes which offer both EMI and then nursing as the illness progresses, but some only do one or the other, and some (rather oddly)offer EMI care but not nursing care for dementia patients. I wasted quite a lot of time looking at the wrong type of homes because a rather inexperienced social worker gave me poor advice.

Nursing homes are generally much more expensive, so if you are self-funding and nursing care is not needed then you will be seriously out of pocket in no time at all. Most good EMI homes can cope with a degree of "nursing" (there is no strict definition of what nursing care comprises) and so this is something to check out when you visit.

My advice would be to make a good search on the internet first for homes in the chosen area, followed up by phone calls to the managers of the likely looking ones (including asking the obvious question of whether they have any spaces available!), and only then spend time visiting them, because it will take quite a lot of time to see each one, talk through your mother's needs etc. The smartest-looking ones are not always the best: I resisted going to what is now my father's care home for a long time because it looks fairly hideous on the outside, but the staff are wonderful, the food is good and the rooms are clean, well-equipped and well-furnished.

A lot of homes offer a "trial period" before you sign a long-term contract, so if it turns out to be really unsuitable you are not locked-in to an agreement. It's a good idea to have a second-choice home in mind just in case this happens and you need to move your mother.

Good luck!