Hi everyone
I haven't posted here before but I am just looking for some general words of wisdom.
My Dad is 74 and was diagnosed with Alzheimers 6 years ago. He still lives at home with my Mum, also 74 and with a heart condition.
We've been lucky that his deterioration has been quite slow but now it's really starting to affect him and my Mum. She is not the most patient of people (massive understatement!) and seems to spend lots of her time either shouting at him or generally nagging at him - as if she thinks he will start behaving normally if she nags him enough.
Dad still knows who we all are and is very gentle and content most of the time. Conversations are pretty impossible, almost nothing he says makes sense any more. He has help 4 times a week with showering and dressing, and apart from that can manage his toileting fairly well by himself during the day. Nighttimes are different, he can be up 8 or 9 times a night and is very disoriented and regularly has accidents when he doesn't make it to the bathroom in time. Hence Mum isn't getting much sleep. Dad also attends a day centre twice a week, which gives Mum a bit of a break.
Anyway, this weekend Mum has been in a foul mood with everyone, when I spoke to her about it she says she is just fed up and feels it's time to start thinking about a residential home for my Dad.
I can understand how hard it is for her, I just didn't think things were that bad yet. Obviously I will support any decision my Mum makes but I'd love to hear from anyone who has been in this situation and how you knew the time was right.
Much as I would love to have Dad here, I don't think it's really feasible as we live 30 miles away from them so he would be away from everything familiar, I also have a husband and 2 small children (5 and 6) and a small house.
Would be really grateful for any feedback
Many Thanks
I haven't posted here before but I am just looking for some general words of wisdom.
My Dad is 74 and was diagnosed with Alzheimers 6 years ago. He still lives at home with my Mum, also 74 and with a heart condition.
We've been lucky that his deterioration has been quite slow but now it's really starting to affect him and my Mum. She is not the most patient of people (massive understatement!) and seems to spend lots of her time either shouting at him or generally nagging at him - as if she thinks he will start behaving normally if she nags him enough.
Dad still knows who we all are and is very gentle and content most of the time. Conversations are pretty impossible, almost nothing he says makes sense any more. He has help 4 times a week with showering and dressing, and apart from that can manage his toileting fairly well by himself during the day. Nighttimes are different, he can be up 8 or 9 times a night and is very disoriented and regularly has accidents when he doesn't make it to the bathroom in time. Hence Mum isn't getting much sleep. Dad also attends a day centre twice a week, which gives Mum a bit of a break.
Anyway, this weekend Mum has been in a foul mood with everyone, when I spoke to her about it she says she is just fed up and feels it's time to start thinking about a residential home for my Dad.
I can understand how hard it is for her, I just didn't think things were that bad yet. Obviously I will support any decision my Mum makes but I'd love to hear from anyone who has been in this situation and how you knew the time was right.
Much as I would love to have Dad here, I don't think it's really feasible as we live 30 miles away from them so he would be away from everything familiar, I also have a husband and 2 small children (5 and 6) and a small house.
Would be really grateful for any feedback
Many Thanks