How this ilnest affects me !!!!!

[jackie place]

Hi Everyone, My Husband Peter has had this Alzheimer's for about 2yrs that we know off could be longer. I went away in May for 6days with some ladies and when I came back what a shock it was to see my lovely Husband had deteriorated so much in should a short time.!!!!!! Why did I not notice before? we had an unpleasant situation with the carers ( not turning up one day) I was out of my mind being abroad and could do nothing so the Team that has been assigned to us have acted promptly, by finding out what the cause was and how to amend it so that it does not happen again.

Peter is due to go in Respite this weekend ( I have not told him yet) as he keeps say that he does not want to go he also keeps saying that he wishes he could go to Switzerland and have the needle as he is fed up with the illness and being in so much pain with artisrts. He goes to bed early most evening say about 8.30 -9.30 pm I feel so sorry for him as I can see him deterioration faster than we all thought. He does not eat or drink much now I am having to feed him and make sure that he drinks plenty but he is getting weaker . I work full time and am feeling abit down myself I feel so guilty that I am leaving him and having a couple of days on my own ( Why do I feel like this) The Social Worker are trying to get him to go to a Day centre perhaps one day a week but as he is only 63 the other people are much older and she feels that this will have an effect on him. We have carers who come in twice a day to make sure that he is having his medication meals and a drink.

I would do anything to make sure that he is in no pain I am just trying to give him what is best for him. We are due to go away shortly in the next three weeks and sometimes I get scared as he is very aggressive ( but I know that it is the illness which is effecting him, he has lost so much weight.

Is there anyone on Tp who feel the same as I do ? I would love e to hear from you or any advise that you can give me. I don't go to any meetings as I work full time and am tired but I hope to join one soon. How does one get Peter to eat and drink he tells me that after two mouthfuls of food he is full How can he be when he is not eating much?

Sorry to go on so much!!!! but this is getting me down and I only want to help make life abit more comfortable for him Thank you for reading and listening to me so sorry for the moaning that I am doing I realize that there is allays someone worse off than us. Thank You

 

[gigi]

Hello Jackie,

Although I do understand your concerns I'm not sure that I can give you any advice.

Your husband is very young and I do wonder if he has been assessed by his consultant recently.

It does sound as though you may need more support..especially as you are working full time.

. I went away in May for 6days with some ladies and when I came back what a shock it was to see my lovely Husband had deteriorated so much in should a short time.!!!!!! Why did I not notice before?

It does happen when you are away for a while...when you return you see things with "new eyes"..it was probably happening before you went away..but you were too close to realise it.

We are due to go away shortly in the next three weeks and sometimes I get scared as he is very aggressive ( but I know that it is the illness which is effecting him, he has lost so much weight.

I'd think twice about that. Aggression shouldn't be "accepted" Going away may not be a good thing to do just now if this is the case.

And I wasn't going to give you any advice..!

As you say it's getting you down..please ask for help and advice from your husband's Consultant or GP..or CPN if you have one.

Love xx

 

[lin1]

Hello

To watch someone you love deteriorate so much IS AWFUL.

In wondering if pain from his Arthritis could be causing his loss of appetite, as can depression also the dementia itself could be doing it.

I suggest you speak with his doc about your concerns.

Maybe a good idea to give him something to eat little but often

as you work full time you may need the carers to come in more often to do this.

Their are some very good food supplements available

my mum's on Resource dessert energy,it's like a very sweet pot of flavored custard, but their are also a variety of drinks and powders your doc can prescribe

Others will be here soon with plenty of support and advice

 

[danny]

Hi Jackie,sorry you are having a rough time of it.

Does your husband have regular contact with a consultant and the community team?
There maybe quite a number of reasons for not eating which need to be explored by the professionals.has your husband seen a speach and language therapist?
Has he had his teeth checked etc,is he constipated etc etc.

Get some advice from the medical team,They really should be helping you and your husband.

Let us know how you get on,best wishes,Angela.

 

[sad nell]

Jackie i have been in your shoes if i can help in any way please pm me, as my husband as progressed with AD it is easier, but how i remember those days, . Scatty Pam

 

[jackie place]

How this ilnest effects me

Thank you for your replies I have taken note I will be be getting in touch shortly . x