Unsure what else may happen

[DianeG]

Hi,
It's been a while since I have posted. My mum is 58 with Alzheimers and just over a month ago we had to finally put mum into a care home. One of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. Still feel guilty and struggle with every visit usually ending in tears.

The thing is, I just don't undertsand what else could possibly go wrong. Not that I am willing it to - it's just that mum needs full help for everything....eating, drinking, washing, dressing, toileting, little/no speech, always aggitated and aggressive, very volatile behaviour. I understand what can happen to older people...all this stuff and then mobility/organs functioning become problems but mum, whilst being unsteady due to visual spacial challenges, she seems to have no physical issues. I am scared as I don't know what to expect. I have rea every leaflet and book going and they have prepared me for what I have faced so far but the future is really an unknown.

I know that no two people are the same but I was just wondering if anyone can advise or point me in the direction of info that focuses on what may happen as opposed to the theory of what the condition is.

Thanks
Diane

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello:

I am sure you have made the right decision re your Mum going into a care home, so please try not to feel guilt. I see it as extreme sadness that an illness has caused it.

No one can truly foresee what may happen to your Mum.

My husband is much older and his main deterioration started after a fall (broken ribs). Following that he seemed to be very vulnerable to infections - chest or UTIs. Then he developed cellulitis, now I think his body is slowly giving up.

If your Mum is aggressive and agitated I would expect the Consultant to review this and maybe suggest medication.

It is a difficult unknown journey; I hope you find support here.

 

[DianeG]

Hi Jan

Thanks for your message.

Life just ain't easy sometimes is it? Sending you an e-hug.

Mum is on meds and PRN lorazepan and it has been increased recently. They are reluctant to change much more or she'll become sedated...something she never wanted and we don't either. We'll all get there eh.

D x

 

[Grannie G]

I`m sorry Diane but I doubt anyone can tell you what to expect. Not everyone goes through every symptom.
If you did know, it would still be impossible to prepare yourself, as the reality might be totally different from the expectation.
I can only tell you from my own experience. My husband was quite aggressive and now in the later stages is much calmer and more contented. I sincerely hope this happens with your mother, so perhaps you will be able to have some better times with her.

 

[DianeG]

Thank you Sylvia.
I guess you are right, no one will be able to tell me. I just find it hard....in my day job I plan, know what it going to happen and I can fix things that go wrong. With this illness it is all such an unknown and I feel so unprepared. I just want to be there for my dad.
D x

 

[Grannie G]

You can still be there for your dad Diane, as my son has been here for me.