Ive Had Enough!!

[JAC0609]

Family issues arent getting any better after 16 months of sheer hell, intimidation and down right bullying have decided that they can have it. After having received COP paperwork from them stating that they want to take over and that they can do a better job than I ever have. I have decided they can have it. Im letting them take over sorting mum's affairs. Im not doing this lightly as it was never mum's wish but this is affecting my whole life its time I started to put me first. Mum's ok she is safe. They can see how everything is so easy to sort out (NOT)!!!!

Just by making this decision I'm feeling relief for the first time in such a long time.

It all came so blindingly obvious to me when it started to affect my marriage. Nothing is worth that - not for them anyway!!!

Need to ring the COP office on Tuesday and find out what I have to do. I dont want to be part of it any longer they can all of the dealings.

I just want to spend the rest of mum's days visiting and doing the usual things mums and daughters do - that wont ever change and they wont ever stop me visiting.

I just dont want anything to do with them. Dont want to speak to them or see them. It is just so upsetting that all they want to do is argue and pick fault. Where were they when mum needed help? Where were they when she was on the phone 24/7? Whennone of them would believe there was a problem - oh she's only putting it on for attention they said!!!!

 

[Sam Iam]

Hiya Jac,
Let your family do it! yes let them do it and I bet they wont be long coming to you for help.

Time to look after number one Jac, you and your marriage come first.

You have nothing to feel guilty about its time to relax and de-stress.

Best wishes xx

 

[CaPattinson]

re: had enough

Hiya Jac haven't spoken to you before but I can feel your frustration and anger from here. I only hope u feel slightly better for having got it off your chest. I hope so. You know everyone here is on your side and behind u all the way. Enjoy your marriage! Your mum is safe so enjoy wat mum's and daughters do - its special. It's your right. Wow I'd feel better if I felt like you and could offload before i exploded! Stick to your guns and tell it how it is. My very best wishes, Jac. Luv to you and your mum. Take care xxChristine

 

[lin1]

Hi
Yes when caring, affects your health or marriage, it's time for things 2 change.

If the family thinks they can do better,
let them try, they sure are in for a rude awakening.

 

[sharina]

families

families are very funny things.Most arguments revolve around guilt and greed.

Are all the family the same or is there a calmer person who can sit with you and go through the accounts.Throw it back on the family and ask what they consider is a sensible budget for her to live on.I think they need reminding that it is not their money but hers.She has a right to any necessary comfort and support.If there is money left after she is gone "great!"You can all go and party.In the meantime it's her money for her needs and funeral.It's not their pension plan.

If her administration was being done by a professional it would cost some £200 per hour.It is not.You are doing it but for some reason they don't trust you.Perhaps they are scared that there will be no money left.Have you asked them to itemise the overspends? Are there specifics or just general harping?Do they have their own money worries and are taking them out on you?

Family disputes can end up involving lawyers and cost alot.They must be avoided at all costs.Something is troubling them and you need to work out what it is.You are a capable person.Take personality out of this battle and deal with specifics. You need to meet in a neutral place and really work things out.Is there a family friend who can mediate?

 

[izzie]

Hey, I dont know all your situation, but I feel for you.

At least you are still able to see your Mother. I have had that right withdrawn. Read my blog/post 'A Mess A mess! Any ideas!'

It's good to hear you sounding releived. Well done. You've tried, everything in your powers to do as your mum would have wished. But at least you still have your dignity.

Maybe you could fill me in a bit or point me to the post where you wrie about your issues.

Take care and enjoy your new freedom. I still feel at the very beginning of my journey. Its so painful!

Love and hugs