paranoia reigns and we all get wet

[Rainbow]

Dad's 82 - vascular dementia diagnosed 2004 - very mild so far (I think)
Mum (75) looks after him. He doesn't know he has dementia - and would be in complete denial if told - and absolutely scared stiff.
Problem is mum's concerns (and the effect on her health) are worrying.
His paranoia is stepping up and no matter how much reassurance is given, it's mum, at the end of the day, who is left alone with him and his relentless bad mindedness and endless 'what if' senarios.
My brother thinks his condition ought to be explained gently to him and to broach the subject of EPA - mum's frightened that this would fuel his paranoia to going off the scale and life would be unbareable on a day to day basis - i.e. we're all plotting against him.

I have spoken briefly with his GP, but realise that time is so restricted.
I have also arranged a meet up with the local Alz Soc next week - fel such a novice to all of this.

Is paranoia an issue to others? is it so subjective that really no one can offer
positive advice?

 

[cynron]

denial

Dear Rainbow.

My husband was diagnosed by MRI SCAN as having VAD this was 2002 he was in denial then and still is. We are both 75 like your mum. I being the sole carer also find it very tiring and also lonely ,all social events and holidays are now not on.The first signs were memory loss and being rude to me in company

Regards Cynron,

 

[miranda]

dear rainbow
my mother was showed signs of paranoia many years ago. I was still at school & so I was the only one left to leave home.
It started very slowly- just sort of crept in but snowballed in intensity as I was made scapegoat.
Stealing, plotting against, spouses having affairs seem to be quite common with this illness(I just wish I had known at the time).
As for your question- whether you or any member of your family try to tell your husband is up to you. My mother would have denied it all - the difference it that none of my family tried because being the youngest I wasn't listened to. Nobody noticed but me.

 

[dmc]

hi rainbow





Hi rainbow did post this one yesterday but for some reason you seem to have two threads going on the same subject



my mums paranoia, changes from one week to the next, it ranges from people trying to harm her, stealing things from her, my dad having an affair, ETC

she is now on medication and it is a lot better than it was, i think you'l find that paronoia is quite common with dementia in one form or another, we also havent told my mum she has dementia becouse she suffers short term memory loss and she would only forget if we did tell her! although i do think she has some idea she's ill and not as she once was

im afraid the only advice i can offer is to get dad checked out by his GP perhaps he needs some kind of medication to help. is your dad on any medication at all?
and perhaps if youve got a CPN perhaps you could get some advice from them
good luck

 

[Rainbow]

sorry

sorry - new to this - posted the same thing twice by mistake

thanks for your comments - good to know others understand.

Dad's not on medication at present - it's only mild so far.
In the many moments of clarity is when fear will overwhelm him and vehement denial will kick in. Mum will feel so guilty and feel she has betrayed him, as he will be at pains to tell her, over and over again.
So, let's see what today brings.

 

[dmc]

hi rainbow
no need to apologise, im always making mistakes

hope you find TP to be as helpfull to you as i have, hope today will be a better one for you
take care