How much longer ???

[allylee]

Mum had a massive brain haemhorrhage on April 21st...add this to her total debillitation after suffering AZ for 8yrs.

For those of you who read my previous post you will know that I had a battle with the hospital for an end of life care plan, to include removal of feeding tube and stopping of IV fluids.

Mum is still with us.She is in the fotal position, a little tiny skeleton , covered in pressure sores.

She has now gone three weeks without food and two weeks without fluids, how much longer can she go on ?

I question my decision to fight for the withdrawal of care, have I really acted in her best interests.I wonder.

THis is truly breaking my heart.As if she hasnt suffered enough over the last few years.

 

[TinaT]

I'm so very sorry for both you and your poor mother. You are suffering so badly and I don't think you need to worry about your decision. I'm sure that you have done everything for the best. What more can anyone do? I hope that both you and your mother's anguish are over soon and that she will finally be at peace.

Take care of yourself during this terrible time.

xxTinaT

 

[lesmisralbles]

Helllo

THis is truly breaking my heart.As if she hasnt suffered enough over the last few years.

Think of your mum having a sleep now XX

Barb XX

 

[Sandy]

Hi allylee,

I wish I had something useful to give you, but it sounds like we're in a realm where there are no easy factsheet answers .

I'm sure the medics would not have allowed your mother to be put on the care pathway that she is on if they did not think it was in her best interests.

The sad thing is that I doubt many of us really know much about end of life care, so it must feel a bit like trying to work everything out (including feelings) from scratch.

Try and get as much support as possible from the people looking after your mum, friends, family and us here on TP.

Take care,

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello:
I personally think you made the right decision. I have had discussions with GP and nurses should the same situation arrive with my husband. My own emphasis was when that time comes please make it comfortable and pain free. So I do hope everything is being done to relieve your Mum - eg for the pressure sores?

My heart goes out to you at this dreadful time. Non of us want this final end - so I just wish for peace and comfort for you and your Mum.

 

[Juliet17101]

You poor thing. There's not one step of this journey that is easy, but the final ones are much harder I imagine. I agree with Sandy, pull in whatever support you can get and talk (and cry) through it.
Love and hugs to you and take care

 

[lin1]

Sending you ((((((Hugs))))))

It's just not fair is it.

be assured you have done your very best for your mum,

no1 could have done more.
you fought hard 2 get your mum the right care and don't you ever doubt that!

Sending you love and (((HUGS)))

 

[ringo]

Hello, yes you have made the right decision my heart goes out to you I know exactly how you feel!I have had a DNR in place for my dad over a year now he recently finished anti-biotics for another UTI and on Saturday he collapsed I really thought he wouldn't last the night but somehow he has, however this morning have spoken to the NH I have made the decision no more treatments and to stop the long term trimethropin even though I know its what dad wanted actually saying it and putting it all in place is really hard and I feel so sad! I just want him to go quietly and painfree! The nurse thinks that he could go at anytime stating it could be days, weeks or months!!!

 

[zonkjonk]

I am so sorry to read about your mum...
My mum finally stopped eating/drinking on christmas day 2009 and died in the early hours on the 4th Jan..so thats nearly 10 days...I thought it would be 5-7 days at the most...mum weighed 25 kilograms on christmas day and she had NO other health issues ...just dementia
the care home gave morphine "as deemed needed"
so although no one can know how long it will be, I am sure your mum will be free from alz soon.
Love from Jo

 

[allylee]

Thank you ....I hoped that in such a poor state mum would slip away quickly...I never envisaged such a prolonged dying process.

The care she is receiving is excellent, they really cant do anymore and I think the nursing and medical staff are as perplexed as I am.

I spoke with her consultant today who gave me his theory.

He described our life force as a flame, burning strong and brightly in health.He suggested that patients with a long term chronic illness get used to functioning with their flame burning low and feint over a long period of time, therefore taking a long time before it goes out completely.

On the other hand mum could be being really stubborn ..I guess I had to get that from somewhere xx

 

[TinaT]

Thanks for the update. It must be some comfort at this terrible time to know she is getting such good care. The only thing certain, is that she will decide when it is time.

xxTinaT

 

[wiggy]

What a lovely theory your mums consultant has. And the stubborn bit...made me.

Thinking of you on this difficult journey x

 

[Sam Iam]

Hiya Allylee,
You have done the right thing by your mum. The consultant's theory is lovely.
Peace of mind Allylee.

 

[likelylass]

so sorry

Im so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through, doesnt it make you angry that we are allowed to treat our pets more humanily than each other. I am 100% behind your decision and I cant imagine anyone on this site disagreeing with it. My thoughts are with you, keep strong and I will be thinking of you.

Take care
xx

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you. Izzy x

 

[scared daughter]

Thinking of you xxx