What of the
Future?
Hiya, now that things “seem” lol to be calming down a little it has given me time to think a little about the future. My mum is as well as can be expected considering her illnesses and Elaine and I are “trying” to settle back into some kind of normality?LOL
Spending time with my mum was precious and I wouldn’t have swapped it for the world but while I was up there both Elaine and myself possibly peeped into my possible future by watching other dementia sufferers who were living there. At least a third of them there have dementia at different stages and after witnessing the repetitiveness, the stare, the vacant, helpless and sometimes pleading look on their faces it was something we talked about at length at home.
Now anybody that knows me knows I fully intend to beat this awful disease, BUT! I was always one to hedge my bets so I asked my “Angel” Elaine what she thought the future holds for us. Elaine’s answer was and is always the same as in “we will treat every day as it comes and worry about that if and when it happens”
So now to me, what do I worry about? If my Exiba stops working my biggest fear is forgetting my wonderful family. I could not imagine my life without them. I would not want them to see the change in me and the life it brings with it, but deep down I know they would never desert me so that’s why it’s such a big fear.
I have never been or intend to be, Loud/obnoxious/ or violent or indeed very rarely swear even when I was working but that doesn’t stop me knowing a word or two!!LOL Another fear would become any or all of these things as my family don’t deserve this.
I am often asked how I can continue to be so cheerful with heart failure and Alzheimer’s hanging over my head (so to speak loll) and still have a big stupid grin on my face? My answer is always the same “I am the luckiest man alive to have led such an eventful life (my mini autobiography is here if anybody would like to read it) and to have such a wonderful caring family like I have I couldn’t have wished for a better life. Yes, times are hard, yes, a lot of pain and tears have been had and shed and yes, I will never get better and probably not see my grandchildren get married but do you know what?? If I took my last breath today I wouldn’t change a dammed thing!! And I would certainly not regret many things.
But am I scared of the future??? You bet I am, but with my family beside me and friends like you I’m sure I can face anything. And until that day comes I will fight the Alzheimer’s fight as best I can and continue to raise awareness in any way possible.
PHEW!!! I`m glad I got that off my chest!! LOL
Best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Future?
Hiya, now that things “seem” lol to be calming down a little it has given me time to think a little about the future. My mum is as well as can be expected considering her illnesses and Elaine and I are “trying” to settle back into some kind of normality?LOL
Spending time with my mum was precious and I wouldn’t have swapped it for the world but while I was up there both Elaine and myself possibly peeped into my possible future by watching other dementia sufferers who were living there. At least a third of them there have dementia at different stages and after witnessing the repetitiveness, the stare, the vacant, helpless and sometimes pleading look on their faces it was something we talked about at length at home.
Now anybody that knows me knows I fully intend to beat this awful disease, BUT! I was always one to hedge my bets so I asked my “Angel” Elaine what she thought the future holds for us. Elaine’s answer was and is always the same as in “we will treat every day as it comes and worry about that if and when it happens”
So now to me, what do I worry about? If my Exiba stops working my biggest fear is forgetting my wonderful family. I could not imagine my life without them. I would not want them to see the change in me and the life it brings with it, but deep down I know they would never desert me so that’s why it’s such a big fear.
I have never been or intend to be, Loud/obnoxious/ or violent or indeed very rarely swear even when I was working but that doesn’t stop me knowing a word or two!!LOL Another fear would become any or all of these things as my family don’t deserve this.
I am often asked how I can continue to be so cheerful with heart failure and Alzheimer’s hanging over my head (so to speak loll) and still have a big stupid grin on my face? My answer is always the same “I am the luckiest man alive to have led such an eventful life (my mini autobiography is here if anybody would like to read it) and to have such a wonderful caring family like I have I couldn’t have wished for a better life. Yes, times are hard, yes, a lot of pain and tears have been had and shed and yes, I will never get better and probably not see my grandchildren get married but do you know what?? If I took my last breath today I wouldn’t change a dammed thing!! And I would certainly not regret many things.
But am I scared of the future??? You bet I am, but with my family beside me and friends like you I’m sure I can face anything. And until that day comes I will fight the Alzheimer’s fight as best I can and continue to raise awareness in any way possible.
PHEW!!! I`m glad I got that off my chest!! LOL
Best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I really like your honesty and openness.
