My dear mum was diagnosed with AD 10 years ago (age 63), you would think after all this time I 'd have come to terms with the illness. She lost her communication very early into the disease and this is the one thing that haunts me the most, not knowing what she knows, feels or understands, whether she is in pain or not. She is in what I assume are the final stages - whatever that is. Every time she makes a marked deterioration we always believe we are near the end but for someone so frail, manages to keep going. She has been in a nursing home for 6 years, firstly an EMI home, then she was re-classified as needing nursing care after two falls which resulted in two hip operations. The home is what would be called a 'good' home, but at times is sadly lacking in basic care. We would have moved her, but fear another move would precipitate the end. I am lucky that I live close by and visit regularly. I find it difficult to know what to say, I talk about what her grandchildren are doing, but there is very little eye contact and only an occasionaly smile of recognition - which bring great happiness and sadness at the same time. I hold her hand. wash her face with a warm flannel - which always brings a smile, give her drinks and mashed up fresh fruit and a little what I call pampering (the things that nursing homes can't or don't do). When I walk away from the home, I wonder "is this the last time", very destructive, I know. Does this sound like anyone elses life? I would be glad to hear from you. Flossie