Dad only has a few days to live......

[lin1]

SEnding you big ((((((HUG))))))
The Hospice knows far more about pain relief and good pallitive care than most other places and you will still be able to look after your dad,so i do hope your successful.
lin

 

[gillybean]

Thank you all for your supportive posts, I have placed a posting on our local forum about the hospice and I got a really good response,I feel sure this is the best place if only they can get the referral in time, we have made another round of phone calls this morning, it's exhausing but I know it's the least I can do for him. I just have reservations about the ambulance transfer and another move but I feel sure in my heart it's the right thing to do and I have to follow that feeling.

 

[DozyDoris]

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through and to have to suffer all the anxiety and worry that the system has heaped on you is terrible. I have no idea what to say to you, but I too would want my Daddy in a peaceful and kind environment, I think you are so right to move him, sending you some strength, god knows you'll need it, Jane xx

 

[gillybean]

I think fingers crossed we might get Dad a bed tomorrow, that of course depends on other people in the city.

Yet another stumbling block came our way today, they refused to let Dad leave the ward (if offerred a bed) because of the Norovirus, I just heard the ward will re open tomorrow, I had lost all hope this afternoon so I am glad we are on track again.

Thanks for your good wishes

 

[Brookie]

Have had an awful day. Mum phoned distraught from the hospital, saying Dad was in pain, she asked the nurse and she said she would see to it which of course she didn't. Then Mum was ushered into a room and asked her opinion on a decision on whether or not to feed Dad????? Mum had been through this and also me and my hubby on Friday with the consultant. It appears the consultant didn't make clear notes hence the discussion with my Mum. How unfair to go through that again. Then we find out thet the referral to pallative care team hasn't even been done yet. This was agreed on Friday, FOUR days ago. I had several heated conversations with a nurse whom I could hardly understand and she went on to tell me he had been prescribed rectal paracaetomol. I was livid, how can you give this to my poor dad in his condition, is this appropriate, have you never heard of morphine patches? She said he hadn't been presribed them yet. I now realise this isn't the best place for Dad so have made umpteen phone calls today to try to get him moved to a hospice, I hope we are not too late, I thought he was in the best place now I'm not sure. This is a nightmare, I am trying to do all I can why do the hospital not understand this awful situation. The sad thing is I know complaining will get me nowhere.

So sorry you are going through this. I went through a similar thing with my mum last year, instructions getting lost in translation, waiting hours for help, being prescribed drugs that made her worse. Lack of communication etc etc its awful however think how much more awful it would be if you and mum werent there for him fighting his corner and making sure things get rectified immediately. Mum died with all her family round her at home.

 

[Sam Iam]

Gilly, thinking of you and sending ((((hugs ))))) xxxxx

 

[Mameeskye]

Gilly

((((Hugs))))

I do hope that you can get the right care for your father and your family. Take the time to be with him and let him know that you are caring for him. He may not know what you say but he will somewhere know what you feel.

Love

Mameeskye

 

[L.M.Cymraeg]

sending you my hugs too
L.M..Cymraeg

 

[sad nell]

Gillybean praying you are given the strength to cope, you are a very loving daughter and i am sure your dad knows this and is comforted by your presence. love pam

 

[rhallacroz]

Hi There
Just wanted to say my dad passed away on the 2nd of Feb and sounds just like the path your poor dad is taking now. I looked after him at home for five weeks and although he didn;t drink for the last 5 or 6 days of life I look back now and think he was comfortable and didnt appear to be thirsty or hungry. I kept his mouth moist with Pineapple which he used to suck and gently cleaned his mouth I also used lip salves of different flavours to keep his lips moist. Basically thats all I could do my kind GP started him on the Vigil which is when someone has less than 48 hrs to live. They can administer drugs to keep dad comfy like morphine and things to stop them feeling agitated. However dad only needed Hyoscine which dries up secretions this he only had for a few hours before he died..
I was with him and my family when he did die he actually gave one of his carers a last smile an hour before he died which I was grateful for. All I can say is be there as much as you can hold his hand and tell him how much you love him and tell him that his own mum and dad are waiting for him. Things will be alright and more importantly that you will be ok. When I did this with dad he seemed to sense it was ok to leave. I know its all very traumatic but you will find the strength and believe you me there is something which carries you through these days. God know what but you do get through. I think its the fact that if you are on this journey the whole journey is one of grief and deterioration that I think we become a little bit prepared. You will survive and I know that because there was no one who loved my dad more than me. I am an only child and lost my mum only 6 months ago so have had it tough for a long time. If I can do so can you.
So be strong it wont be for long and you will be proud of yourself that you cared until the very bitter end.
Take care sending you strength and love
AngelA X

 

[gillybean]

I just wanted to bring closure to this post...and to thank everyone who has offered support to me over the last few days.

On Wednesday Dad was transferred to the Hospice, with this he regained his dignity and got the much deserved TLC that was his right in the last few hours of his life. The staff were very attentive kind and caring, not like the care he had had in hospital. I never had a bad feeling walking in there like I did with hospital.I know we did the right thing, I am relieved he got there in time.

Yesterday, Thursday he died. The dementia won. We sat with him for a while and left early evening. Just before this he opened his eyes and I held his hand and spoke with him, I knew he couldn't see but I know he heard me, I just said we are all here and everythings OK and that his 2 best friends had visited him earlier, one whom he hadn't seen for 3 years. Then we left, almost as soon as we had arrived home I got a call to return back but we were too late. I wished I had said more and I regret that now.

RIP Dad I love you so much.....and I am glad you are rid of this awful dementia.

 

[Grannie G]

and I am glad you are rid of this awful dementia.

Amen to that Gill. Please accept my sincere condolences. xx

 

[julieann15]

Dear Gillybean
So sorry to read of your loss. He is at peace now and free from this awful disease

Love Julie xx

 

[connie]

My thoughts are with you at this sad time.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Gill: I am sad to hear about your Dad but has you have said he is now relieved of this wretched disease. Thankfully you managed to get him to the hospice and he died amongst caring people. You could not have done more.

Take care of yourself now.

 

[zoet]

Peace for your dad, and peace of mind for you to know he no longer suffers- thats all we can ask for Gill. please accept my sincere condolences xxx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Gill,

I am so sorry for your loss Gill

with this he regained his dignity and got the much deserved TLC that was his right in the last few hours of his life.

but so pleased that your dad was in a place of peace and love.

Sending you much love x

 

[turbo]

Gillybean, I am sorry to hear that your Dad has died.


Turbo

 

[Izzy]

Sending my sincere condolences. Izzy x

 

[lin1]

My sincere condolences.

I know no words can help you feel better about all that has happened .but I have 2 say this. You did more than your best!