change in personality/ respite or care

[wesbrencro]

I have just read some of the threads. My 93 year old single aunt has had dementia for 3 years, lives alone. My Mum and her twin, aged 82,and 3 of us cousins help. Carers coming in 3 times since Aug 2009,when she had a DVT, we do midday meals.. Nurse comes daily at present to give her warfarin injections. Recently she has been quiet and passive, did nothing for herself. She has last week had a stomach bug, now since recovering, has a major change in personality. She is aggressive, demanding,complaining. Also 'seeing 'people in the house.
We have been considering respite or a care home, as the whole thing is worrying her two sisters. Of course she wants to stay at home.
The forum is great, to see how everyone else copes, and explain it to Mum , who thinks my aunt is doing things on purpose. ( I am also my aunt's Power of Attorney).
Brenda

 

[TinaT]

I think in this situation it is a decision that all of you would have to come to agree on. Can you all continue in this to helping role for a while longer to see if she gets back to how she was? It is possible that something other than alzheimers has caused the rapid change in personality

Has she got a UTI (urine infection) which no one is aware of? Has she been tested by the GP for a UTI? A urine infection can cause a complete change in personality which, once the infection is controlled completely disappears.

Have the family asked for extra help from social services and would she be able to continue to live as she has with this extra help? Has your mum contacted a local alzheimer society to get some support?

There are a lot of factors to be considered and eliminated before a considered decision can be reached. Once made it would be very difficult to undo at her age.

The only advice I can give is investigate all the possiblities as a family and then make a decision.

xxTinaT

 

[mowood]

Hi Brenda,

I think Tina is right, the first thing I would do would be to ask for a test to determine whether a urine infection could be present. Sometimes you can tell by the smell of the urine, if it's really offensive there's usually an infection but the gp would probably want a sample to see which antibiotic to use.

I hope it is just something simple like a uti that your aunt has.

Best wishes

Maureen

 

[Margaret W]

A chest infection is another possibility and not all chest infections are apparent as a cough.

Hope you find a solution.
Margaret

 

[wesbrencro]

change in personality/ respite

Thanks for all your replies. always a great help.
I did wonder about a UTI, we did have my aunt tested a few weeks ago, but will try again. However, she is now back to her normal self!
It has been a busy week, with lots of family discussions. As her 2 sisters have now been taken ill temporarily,same virus as my aunt had, things have escalated.
I and my cousins have looked round lots of care homes. We have decided to put her in a care home for repite at first, see how it goes. My aunt is not over the moon, but does not want everyone really worried, it is a very nice place. She is being assessed today.
Re my Mum ,she does stick her head in the sand, not want to know any information. She has also been in opposition to the rest of us 5 re further help. She does not like any homes at all.
Brenda

 

[Margaret W]

It is normal for people "of that age" to suspect homes. It is not what they wanted for their parents, and probably still think of them as being similar to workhouses. The feeling runs through a couple of generations at least.

Hope it all goes well Brenda.

Margaret

 

[wesbrencro]

Care home

Thank you for your messages.
We have now today got my aunt in the care home, it went better than I thought.
She is obviously not over the moon, but accepted it quietly. Mum was also Ok , though did not stay long.
It is a caring home, and relatives are encouraged to visit,which we will do over this week. The food is also very good, they may be able to encourage her to eat and drink, as they are not relatives.Also there are other people to eat with .
I always find this forum great for advice and help, we are all in the same boat.
Brenda

 

[Lynne]

I hope all goes well.

The food is also very good, they may be able to encourage her to eat and drink, as they are not relatives. Also there are other people to eat with.

Having company at the table is good, and often 'good manners' will encourage someone to eat for a stranger, when they wouldn't be persuaded by family members at home.
(And some people have found that the argument that 'meals are included in the price' makes loved ones want to get their monies worth!)