need help

[pah]

My husband as not been him self for around 4 years he had some problems at work in early 2006 we thought it was a bit of dipestion because problems in the family, how ever in mid july he didn't seem to be geting any better but we got on with things. The following year in March he just broke down in tears saying he was haveing realy bad headaces and felt realy down. Long story short after seeing GP,Consultants,GP,Consultants, we finaly were sent to a Cunsultant who diagnose suspected altzimes this was in October 2008 he has been seeing them every month. They have given him medication which seems to work, but his temper is geting worse. At the moment its just me who getting it,but i do phone people to say stay away if he's in one of these moods because he starts to pick on them. His saying is i will do what i whant to do sod everyone eles.

 

[janlyn]

welcome to tp pah im sorry that you are having a bad time i am new here myself husband diagnosed with ftd in november 2009 i have no advice for you only that you are in the right place there are lots of tp firends that will advice you so keep posting x

 

[Grannie G]

Quote pah but his temper is geting worse.

Keep a record pah, a diary of times and incidents so if things become too difficult to manage you can get help and advice from the doctor.
Don`t let things get out of control.

 

[gigi]

Hello pah

I agree with Sylvia..keep a diary of your husband's temper and document as much as you can.

If you are seeing someone every month than you really need to address this issue with them.

but i do phone people to say stay away if he's in one of these moods because he starts to pick on them. His saying is i will do what i whant to do sod everyone eles.

I understand why you do this..but in fact you are isolating yourself and allowing your husband to be in control here. You probably feel that he is..but he isn't.

More than anything now you need as much support as you can get to help you deal with this.

At the moment its just me who getting it

But hang on...you are your husband's lifeline and main support..so please don't call yourself "just me". You are so important here..and you don't need this at all.

Please talk to the people who are managing your husband's disease..and tell them how it is.

And please keep posting..it does help.

Before I go..have a look at the AS fact sheet on aggressive behaviour..

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/509

Let us know how things are...

Love xx

 

[Sandy]

Hi pah,

Welcome to Talking Point (TP).

From what you were saying about your husband having some problems at work I assume he's still relatively young?

As Gigi and Grannie G have both suggested, keeping a diary of day-to-day changes can be a valuable way of monitoring things and spotting patterns.

It can also help the medics, as sometimes it can be very difficult to accurately diagnose dementia in younger people.

The Alzheimer's Society has a good factsheet on the issues that relate to younger people with dementia (YPWD):

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/440

I don't know if they've decided definitely what type of dementia your husband has but you might want to look at this AS factsheet on Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD) which can bring on changes to personality:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/404

It sounds good that your husband is being monitored monthly by his medical team and that you feel that the medication is helping.

You might also want to contact your local branch of the Alzheimer's Society:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/custom_scripts/branch.php?area=true&areaCode=NONW

Many branches have support workers and social/support groups for carers and people with dementia. Some even have special groups for younger people with dementia and younger carers.

Take care,

 

[twink]

Just to say sorry you are going through this, my husband was diagnosed when he was 54 but had been 'not right' for quite a long time before that, it seems so long ago now. He's in a care home now. You have had good advice from the people on here, as always.

 

[laurafays]

the moods are all part of the illness and i find with my dad its mostly out of frustration in moments of clarity that you cant do what you think you should be able to do. rather than warning people away, let them come, keep things normal, as long as you and your husband are comfortable talking about what's wrong then the more we can all be open and honest about this illness the more awareness we can create in society. this should lead to better understanding, more support and generosity for the alzhemeirs society and ultimately, like in most mental illness cases, less stigma attached to such an illness. he's not doing it on purpose, it changes your personality, which is beyond your control and at the moment there's nothing anyone can do to stop that. when he lashes out i know its hard but just keep telling yourself its not anyones fault, don't rise to it or push it, distract them and distract yourself by doing something completely different if you can.

 

[pah]

Thankyou


Thank you all.
Alot of what you said I will try, My husband is 57 but a young 57 and he has'nt got around things yet it is still new.I spoke to our GP today and she was very helpfull, and she told me to keep talking, and not to be a prisoner and still go out and the things I have been doing.