Refusal to drink enough

[Perdita]

My mum who has AD seems to be gradually drinking less and less. Everyday when I go in I make a cup of coffee or tea for myself and offer her one and she always says she has just had one. I know she hasn't as the kettle is always cold.

I would estimate her intake of fluids as maybe 2 small cups of tea /coffee a day and the water she has with her medication.

She has never said she finds it difficult to swallow but I'm wondering if this could be part of the problem from reading other threads on here. She has also stopped eating porridge as she says it makes her gag, she used to love porridge

Could someone explain why AD sufferers have trouble swallowing please?

 

[Bristolbelle]

Here, here!

I have exactly the same trouble with my Mum, in fact only yesterday she would not have a drink with her lunch saying there was enough water on the lettuce (I had washed it and spun it lol!) I have found that if I offer jelly, or things like rice pudding (sloppy food) she sometimes eats this whcih I hope helps a bit. Also things like bottles with the sports tops (left open so she can use it easily) but not Fruit Shoots as they are LOADED with sugars, and the little cartons with straws. She seems to prefer things where she has to suck rather than swallow? Ice lollies work a treat too but perhaps not this time of year.
Good luck.

 

[Perdita]

Hi Belle,

Thanks, yes I know she likes apple juice and have to admit I haven't taken her any lately- it's hard to get her to eat or drink very much at all really, although she has made good inroads into her christmas chocs

 

[Trying my best]

I can't offer you any advice about swallowing as my mum has never really had that problem but it can sometimes be hard work to get her to drink enough. She used to drink GALLONS of water but then switched to coffee, and then stopped drinking anywhere near as much.

I find that stocking up on whatever she likes best is definitely essential. I also try to make her lots of soups. But perhaps the most effective method in my mum's case is to put ice cubes in her drinks! I'm not sure if it's the noise they make, the frosty glass or the fact that the liquid is really cold, but she definitely drinks more enthusiastically.

It's may also important to make sure the glasses/mugs/cups you use are easy for her to hold. My mum can't hold onto anything that is too wide or too heavy, so I always offer her drinks in slimmer drinking vessels.

 

[jenniferpa]

You may find it works better not to offer, but simply to present her with something to drink. Decision making may be simply too hard for her.

As for porridge - does she have dentures? I love porridge but there is no denying that the stickiness can be problematic unless my dentures are VERY firmly secured. (where's a raised eyebrow smilie when you need one).

However, you should consider that it is the AD that is affecting her ability to swallow. The plaques and tangles of AD can build up in any part of the brain, so it's inevitable that they would affect the part that deals with swallowing, at least for some people. If you think it is that she is choking, then you could ask your GP for a referral to a speech therapist as this is the speciality that treats swallowing difficulties.

 

[Perdita]

Hi Trying my best,

Thanks for the tips. My mum is very hard to please and something that is her favourite thing one day is her most hated the next. But I will keep on trying to get her to drink more. i took her some nice juicy oranges yesterday so I suppose she's getting liquid from those. Will try the ice cubes in the summer too

 

[Perdita]

Hi Jennifer,
Yes she does have dentures, but the porridge hating thing is a recent development.

I will keep an eye on her swallowing and if I think she's having problems will mention it to the CPN. Thanks for the advice

 

[mowood]

Hello Perdita

I've noticed that my mum seems to forget how to swallow sometimes.

Sometimes it's with her tablets, she puts them into her mouth and then says 'now what shall I do?'

This afternoon I gave her a small piece of ham and after chewing it she gave it back to me to put in a sandwich!!

Best of luck.

Maureen x

 

[sussexsue]

One of the good points that someone on this forum mentioned is that with AD tastes change.

My mum only ever drank tea, coffee and a glass of wine in the evening.

Since she had a UTI I struggled to get her to drink, but now I give her a glass of organge squash with every meal which she happily drinks. Something she would never have drunk before. I make sure it is always in a nice glass and looks appetising.

If I asked her if she wanted a glass of squash she would always say no, but just present her with it and then she drinks it.

 

[Brymar]

Thanks Sue,

I have been going through the same thing with Mary following a UTI, even whilst she is hospital. Speech Therapist says no problem with swallowing so when I go to see her tomorrow I wont ask, I'll just give her the drink. Let you know the result.

Regards
Bryan

 

[Lynne]

A random thought (possibly not at all appropriate)

Could it be that your Mum is deliberately cutting down intake of drinks because she's afraid of wetting herself.
Could she be having a problem with urinary incontinence, or a UTI?

Concur with Jennifer's point about not requiring her to make a decision, just giving her a drink (& perhaps encouraging her not to 'waste' it).
My Mum was always saying things like "I don't want to be any trouble" ...

 

[Winnie Kjaer]

Hi there, the only thing my husband will drink now is cold milk, again something he never drank previously except in coffee. I never ask either, just put the glass to his mouth, he takes minute sips so it is painstakingly slow but I do manage to get one glass in him a day plus all the liquid I use when liquidising his food. Milk is a bit thicker than some other drinks, so perhaps easier to swallow.

 

[Helen33]

Morning Perdita,

I just wanted to send my thoughts and best wishes as you try to help your mum

Love

 

[Brymar]

A random thought (possibly not at all appropriate)

Could it be that your Mum is deliberately cutting down intake of drinks because she's afraid of wetting herself.
Could she be having a problem with urinary incontinence, or a UTI?

Concur with Jennifer's point about not requiring her to make a decision, just giving her a drink (& perhaps encouraging her not to 'waste' it).
My Mum was always saying things like "I don't want to be any trouble" ...

Hi,
This is exactly why I love this forum. Where else can you get such information ?

I have lost count of the number of times when reading a post I have thought "that sounds familiar".

The one thing I have learnt is that with loved ones of a certain age "Victorian" values can still even in this day and age be held dear. With Mary I had a problem when carers first arrived.

"I'm not showing my body to strangers" and of course the total devastation at having wet the bed. A remark such as "I don't want to be any trouble" certainly resonates with me. The UTIs...
I hate them, they keep getting in the way of day to day care.

Mary will be doing so well, putting on weight etc, being happy and chatty, then Bang, everything stops...eating, drinking, communicating, even when on antibiotics.

One of the reasons AD is such a curse is the speed at which things can change, and I think this is why it can make one so tired at times. It is hard enough watching a decline in our loved ones health but on top of that we are constantly having to educate ourselves so we are able to give them the best possible care. I thank God for this forum and for the people who still care.

Regards
Bryan

 

[Perdita]

Thanks Maureen, Sue, Brymar, Lynne, Winnie and Helen for your thoughts and replies,

Maureen, that made me laugh about your mum giving you back the ham, my mum does such peculiar things now too, like not eating some of the food in her pantry because she thinks I've bought it for my husband. Bless them!

Sue, it's very interesting to read that AD changes taste and explains a lot - thank you!

Brymar, I think I'm going to do the same with my mum, she seems to like Coke and apple juice (not together !) so I'm going to take some down today.

Lynne, yes mum does admit she 'hates' going to the loo as it's upstairs, but she still goes upstairs about 100 times a day searching for things she's hidden, it's getting her to combine her searching with going to the loo that's the hard bit!

Winnie, my mum has completely gone off milk since she had a UTI a few weeks back, but she can feed herself fine. Her AD is more to do with losing her direction and not being able to recognise numbers, money etc anymore.

Helen, I'm completely touched that you found the time to send me your good wishes on this of all mornings, thinking of you with fingers crossed for you and Alan

 

[exsocialworker]

It is so difficult getting someone to drink who doesn't want to. It's quite common with dementia as you know for all the reasons suggested. Tastes definitely do change with dementia and it's worth offering things that your relative might have not liked previously. My suggestion is leaving drinks around the place in reach. You didn't say what stage of dementia your relative is at? If it's the more advanced stages then maybe think about ensuring that the cup is easy to drink from. Wide opening. Do the cups have dainty handles? If so does your Mum try and hold the entire cup and the handle is just in the way? Big handles that your Mum can get her hand through might help? Maybe think about textures as well. If liquids are thickened then they have more time to register on the taste buds. So does your Mum want the taste to last or not? Small sips often is probably the key. If your Mum is avoiding going to the toilet is there somewhere private for a commode? Would she agree to it and if so would she remember to use it? This might sound awful but if there are drinks in reach in each room and your Mum is reluctant to drink due to toileting then she may well be willing to take a small sip and forget how many small sips she has taken? Is she is pain getting to the toilet? People with dementia don't always express pain in the same ways that they used to. Good luck!

 

[Brymar]

Drinks

Hi All,

A note for Sue....Tried it and it worked...Theres more
Whilst there auxjllery nurse came to change bed linen and "tidy Mary up a bit" when she had finished she went to offer Mary a drink so I said, "don't ask her just hold the straw against her lips", and again it worked. The nurse was amazed "thats the first time she has,nt refused"

Education Education Education...Communication..etc, etc.

Thank you so much Sue

Regards
Bryan

 

[wesbrencro]

Swallowing/ drinks/toilet

This forum is brilliant as always.
My 93 year old aunt with dementia is now having problems swallowing, this helps me to explain to her 82 year old sisters, joint carers with 3 of us cousins, she is not just being 'awkward'. Also re drinking, I'm sure it is partly forgetting, partly the fear of incontinence as she is a single, private lady.
She has just had the 'other' incontinence this week, hopefully only a bug, as at present she has no permanent night carers. I also found out from the forum that everyone mostly has to pay, as we do ,for incontinence pads

Brenda

 

[poppy01]

similar situation with my mom

Hi..

My mom was the same when she lived at home with my dad...she wouldnt eat or drink properly..many many times she collapsed because of dehydration...and lack of food...my dad believed she didnt want to eat or drink..and he said he wasnt going to force her??

Since tuesday this week..my mom has been admitted into a short term care home...and her eating and drinking have come back...she is now asking for another drink after finishing her first cuppa..

She is also starting to string a few words together and hold kind of a conversation with us now...she really has improved tremendously since then..

So with encouragement and persuasion it is possible to get them eating and drinking again...well it has been in my moms case..

But I wish you well with everything yr up against at the moment...I never thought at this moment in time I would be able to offer advice to someone else..cos its been a very dark week with mom havin to go into care..but hey..one step at a time..

Wishing you well..


Caroline