Dear Helen
I am so sorry to hear about this problem with Alan, Gigi is right it does sound very much like David - they both seem to be having the same problems recently. She is also right that if you can encourage Alan to go to the toilet regularly this could help, although in David's case I am afraid it just doesn't work as he doesn't seem to know what to do if I take him to the loo - he can only perform when he gets the urge and when that happens we have 2 mins notice
.
There's no point in me telling you to keep calm (I'm a fine one to talk!!)- it is awful and as you say you are on 'red alert' all the time. I have the additional joy of waiting to hear the toilet flush in order that I have sufficient time to run up the stairs to ensure David has wiped his behind - that's when the fighting starts when he refuses to be helped and I refuse to let him downstairs until he is clean.
I too think it is probably taking Alan a while to adjust - look how awful David was when he returned from hospital - he was peeing everywhere, going to the toilet - doing nothing and then wetting his trousers - that hasn't happened for a while now.
I do hope you have a peaceful night and things look better in the morning.
Take care and thinking of you lots.
Love and (((hugs)))