My mum died last Thursday from Alzheimers, at the age of 67. Her funeral was yesterday.
We believe she chose her time-she had an infection which medically there was no reason she shouldn't have recovered from, but she stopped eating and drinking, other than the small amount of liquid which we and nurses could almost drip into her mouth.
We had a week where we knew her death was going to be fairly imminent, so as a family, we managed to spend as much time as we could with her, and were able to say everything we wanted/needed to.
During that week, Mum was the most lucid she's been for years. Having been unable to recognise any of us for about the past year, when there was a conversation going on in the room, she followed each speaker with her eyes, and when we were individually speaking to her, she looked us straight in the eyes-again something she's not done for a very long time. Her eyes were also clear-they lost the "foggy" look they've had the whole time she's had this cruel disease.
We spent a long time going over family photos and videos with her-and she was incredibly focussed on what she was being shown-again, this has not happened for a very long time.
Obviously there were periods when all we could do was weep, but whilst she was in bed, I was able to spend a fair bit of time snuggled into her-well as far as I could-she couldn't move as she also had Parkinson's disease (very cruel double whammy) but there was one occasion where, not to put too fine a point on it, I was bawling my eyes out, and she was trying to lift her arm to comfort me.
As she was nearing the end, we all noticed that she started to look younger, and whilst I've always quietly thought the phrase "pass away" is a bit twee, that's exactly what she did. I find it very difficult to put into words, but there was a change came over her face as she passed, and suddenly, in death, she looked like my mum again-I can't describe it. Her eyes were as clear and sparkly blue as they'd ever been-they were no longer bloodshot, which they have been for years. I know there are physical changes which happen on death, but this seemed to go beyond that. She looked totally at peace.
At the moment, my main emotion is relief for her, that it's all over. Alzheimer's is a cruel enough disease on its own, but Parkinson's on top of that?
I know I probably have a million more emotions and feelings to go through, and probably for the rest of my life, but for mum, I'm glad she's been released from her hell.
Thank you
We believe she chose her time-she had an infection which medically there was no reason she shouldn't have recovered from, but she stopped eating and drinking, other than the small amount of liquid which we and nurses could almost drip into her mouth.
We had a week where we knew her death was going to be fairly imminent, so as a family, we managed to spend as much time as we could with her, and were able to say everything we wanted/needed to.
During that week, Mum was the most lucid she's been for years. Having been unable to recognise any of us for about the past year, when there was a conversation going on in the room, she followed each speaker with her eyes, and when we were individually speaking to her, she looked us straight in the eyes-again something she's not done for a very long time. Her eyes were also clear-they lost the "foggy" look they've had the whole time she's had this cruel disease.
We spent a long time going over family photos and videos with her-and she was incredibly focussed on what she was being shown-again, this has not happened for a very long time.
Obviously there were periods when all we could do was weep, but whilst she was in bed, I was able to spend a fair bit of time snuggled into her-well as far as I could-she couldn't move as she also had Parkinson's disease (very cruel double whammy) but there was one occasion where, not to put too fine a point on it, I was bawling my eyes out, and she was trying to lift her arm to comfort me.
As she was nearing the end, we all noticed that she started to look younger, and whilst I've always quietly thought the phrase "pass away" is a bit twee, that's exactly what she did. I find it very difficult to put into words, but there was a change came over her face as she passed, and suddenly, in death, she looked like my mum again-I can't describe it. Her eyes were as clear and sparkly blue as they'd ever been-they were no longer bloodshot, which they have been for years. I know there are physical changes which happen on death, but this seemed to go beyond that. She looked totally at peace.
At the moment, my main emotion is relief for her, that it's all over. Alzheimer's is a cruel enough disease on its own, but Parkinson's on top of that?
I know I probably have a million more emotions and feelings to go through, and probably for the rest of my life, but for mum, I'm glad she's been released from her hell.
Thank you