My Dad - Mr J

[penguin629]

hello

My mum & I went to see my dad yesterday at the nursing home and we got quite a shock. He was all hunched over, the way people do when they have stomach ache. He was droling really bad. My Dad never did either of this things before.

We called for a nurse and she ascertained that my Dad had backache so she gave him some paracetamol and he had several glasses of squash and tea. my Mum was worried that my Dad had a bit of a chill. He went outside in the garden for the first time in 4 months the other day and because the hospital seem to have 'lost' his clothes the nursing home didn't have anything warm enough for him to wear. Not their fault, how were they to know he hadn't been outside in such a long time?

Anyway the nurse returned, worried about his medication. He's on an anti-dementia drug but seems to be on enough sedative to "knock out a horse". He takes a 100mg of something 3 times a day! We had no idea he was being sedated. He doesn't need it. She didn't give him his lorazepam last night as he was very quiet and is going to question the doctor tomorrow whether my Dad needs all this sedation. She said she wants my Dad to have some quality of life and wants to see the real Brian. She said the home doesn't like drugging the patients and they prefer to deal with challenging behaviour in other ways, which is promising.

Apparently, he was given something beginning with f the night before (wish I could remember the names of these drugs - amusilpride is one, temazepam is another) and the day after it has the effects of a really bad hangover. My Mum went to see my Dad this morning and is there now and reports he is much better. In the psych hospital my dad wasn't ever a real problem, he wasn't violent nor aggressive, and is actully co-operative and very polite still!

I'll let you know what the doc says tomorrow. We don't want him to lose his place at this nrusing home because it has an excellent reputation but nor do I ever want to see my Dad like that again. It was simply awful. My Mum is so worried and we hoped that him moving there would help her out. Least they're questioning the doctor.

Love Joanne

 

[penguin629]

update on my Dad

Hello, just realised that as my Dad is now 66, he doesn't qualify for the this section now! Oh well.

He's been at the nursing home now for 6 months and I just thought I'd give an update on how he and we are doing. The staff have reduced his medications which means he isn't so sedated and at times, although they are getting less common, he's my Dad again. His smile sometimes is all that remains. But he's content, fed, secure and safe and that is the anaesthetic for us.

I've been in counselling since May to come to terms with the loss and it's helped immensely to the point now that I no longer get upset at the situationa and feel as if I've really come to terms with the situation and losing my dad, who was lost within several weeks of being sectioned.

My Mum sadly, sin't coping well. she insists on seeing my dad twice a day usually at lunchtime and teatime to help with his feeding. She has some concerns over his care, eg, that if he ventures into thw garden he should be wearing a jumper. My aunt has just been diagnosed with MS and my Mum is providing a shoulder for her. My Mum will be taking a break in Nov when she goes on a cruise with her friend. It's very much needed. I try to tell her that one night out of 7 not to visit my dad at night won't hurt, but if she doesnt go then she feels terrible guilt. Perhaps this is her mission and I wouldn't dream of stopping her from going, I wouldn't succeed! but I try to make her see that she needs to look after herself too.

Anyway, thank you for reading this update.

Joanne

 

[Lauren]

One wish

Hi Joanne
I cant imagen the strain and upset you are going through at the moment! Its one thing that i always think about for my future! and my mum at my wedding day that i long for! But as you say im not sure i could cope without her there!

I really hope that your dad has a 'good day' we all understand how rapidly this can change from day to day! Could you not have a carer to come to the wedding with your dad incase he has to leave; and then none of your family will feel guilty as he is in safe hands and they can also enjoy the day?

I hope that it all works out ok and that your wishes come true! Let us know how the days goes!
Love laurenx