Hi everyone, I thought i would update you all, i have had a mad year so far and not had a chance to post for ages. My dad has moved into a nursing home in Haslemere, some of u may remember me starting to post from Oct, when dad was taken onto the assessment unit, it was a crazy downhill spiralling out of control - it was a difficult transition he had to go to the onsite challenging behaviour unit for 1 month as was uncontrollable after the initial move, but has now been downgraded and is in a lesser challening unit.
My mums been really unwell and and in hospital for quite a while, having lost 3 stone grieving and her whole immune system has packed in. she is now a different person after ongoing treatment, so much better and healthier than i have seen her for years.
Dad is ok, in his own world pretty settled i suppose. When people ask me how he is, all i can say is he's ok, hes healthly physically, put weight on, but no-ones home. His feeding habits are insane. He is ravenous all the time and whenever i visit he rummages through my bag to find biscuits etc. He takes food from Isabella (now 13 months old!) and hides it in his pockets. out of my and mum i would say i have the best relationship with him, he usually knows me. his diabetes is still eratic.
Mum however, usually gets ignored and find it hard. He is manic. wants to walk and walk. Luckily the grounds are enormous and we can march around the gardens for hours if needbe. Im so sad. i see my friends and their parents are just settling into retirement and enjoying each other. I cant change whats happened, i can just enjoy the time i have left and make sure that my little girl knows her grandad.
Now mum is feeling better she will see dad more i hope, although she finds him very difficult to handle. he often verges on aggressive, snatching, raising his hand and shouting at me. i can usually bring him round by talking to him in a positive way, explaining why i want him to do the things i ask, like walk this way, dont pee in the corridor dad because the toilet is here etc. and not letting his behaviour unsettle me. Although sometimes i just go into meltdown. After i have left him.
I have to say that it is heartbreaking to see not just my dad but many others parents and family not being about to fend for themselves. My life is in perspective now and i know which way i am going. If any of you need a little direction and help, google The Serentiy Prayer, dad swore by it and now I do. It makes so much sense. im not religious but the words are awesome.
I promise to keep in touch. love to you all and thanks for your ongoing support. NICKY
My mums been really unwell and and in hospital for quite a while, having lost 3 stone grieving and her whole immune system has packed in. she is now a different person after ongoing treatment, so much better and healthier than i have seen her for years.
Dad is ok, in his own world pretty settled i suppose. When people ask me how he is, all i can say is he's ok, hes healthly physically, put weight on, but no-ones home. His feeding habits are insane. He is ravenous all the time and whenever i visit he rummages through my bag to find biscuits etc. He takes food from Isabella (now 13 months old!) and hides it in his pockets. out of my and mum i would say i have the best relationship with him, he usually knows me. his diabetes is still eratic.
Mum however, usually gets ignored and find it hard. He is manic. wants to walk and walk. Luckily the grounds are enormous and we can march around the gardens for hours if needbe. Im so sad. i see my friends and their parents are just settling into retirement and enjoying each other. I cant change whats happened, i can just enjoy the time i have left and make sure that my little girl knows her grandad.
Now mum is feeling better she will see dad more i hope, although she finds him very difficult to handle. he often verges on aggressive, snatching, raising his hand and shouting at me. i can usually bring him round by talking to him in a positive way, explaining why i want him to do the things i ask, like walk this way, dont pee in the corridor dad because the toilet is here etc. and not letting his behaviour unsettle me. Although sometimes i just go into meltdown. After i have left him.
I have to say that it is heartbreaking to see not just my dad but many others parents and family not being about to fend for themselves. My life is in perspective now and i know which way i am going. If any of you need a little direction and help, google The Serentiy Prayer, dad swore by it and now I do. It makes so much sense. im not religious but the words are awesome.
I promise to keep in touch. love to you all and thanks for your ongoing support. NICKY
