Hi everyone
This is my first post here and I am just really looking for somewhere to blurt everything out... I hope that's ok?
My Father was dianosed with vascular dementia a couple of years ago after about 3 years of tests showing apparently no signs of dementia (although as a family we reported depression, memory loss, general loss of interest in everything to the GP). After a steady decline over the last couple of years, there has been a very big change over the last 6 months. My Father is 74 and my Mother who cares for him is 71. My Dad has become increasingly verbally and more recently physically aggressive with my Mum. He has threatened her with a poker, pushed and shoved her, threatened her with a knife and various other distressing threats. He is convinced that she is sleeping with pretty much any man that they come into contact with (including their GP of 25 years who visited the house. He uses very abusive language about the way she dresses (apparently provocatively)and he cannot bear for her to be out of his sight. He tells her he hates her and he accuses her of stealing all his money. He tells me he wants to leave her and that she has been stopping him going to see his mother (who died 20 years ago). He is convinced that she is trying to poison him and so he has stopped eating the food she has given him and my Mum has noticed that he has occasionally pretended to take his medication but has actually palmed it! (only found out because he left it on the side of the sink)he did actually pretend to put it in his mouth and swallow. He talks to me about how she is an evil woman who wants to slit his throat when his back is turned. I try to tell him that she loves him and cares for him, but he tells me I don't know her the way he does and that she is a sly person.... On rare occasions of lucidity he tells me how fantastic she is and that he would never hurt her. I have told my Mum that I think it is time for a mental assessment but my Mum is very frightened of having him sectioned as she thinks he will never come out. He has taken Quetiapine and aricept and carbamazapine to absolutely no effect - he has frequent TIA's accompanied by shaking (possible fits according to the stroke consultant. Everything seems to be getting worse and worse and each time a new drug is perscribed we are waiting for his aggression to get better - with no good result. I am sorry this is so long - when I started to type, there was so much to say. I know that no one can give me any answers but we feel so helpless with all this going on. I have my own family with 3 young children and a business and I feel that I am not doing enough to help my Mum and Dad - or really more like I don't know how much I should be doing as nothing seems to be enough. My sister and brother feel the same. If you have read all the way to the end of this - Thank you!
This is my first post here and I am just really looking for somewhere to blurt everything out... I hope that's ok?
My Father was dianosed with vascular dementia a couple of years ago after about 3 years of tests showing apparently no signs of dementia (although as a family we reported depression, memory loss, general loss of interest in everything to the GP). After a steady decline over the last couple of years, there has been a very big change over the last 6 months. My Father is 74 and my Mother who cares for him is 71. My Dad has become increasingly verbally and more recently physically aggressive with my Mum. He has threatened her with a poker, pushed and shoved her, threatened her with a knife and various other distressing threats. He is convinced that she is sleeping with pretty much any man that they come into contact with (including their GP of 25 years who visited the house. He uses very abusive language about the way she dresses (apparently provocatively)and he cannot bear for her to be out of his sight. He tells her he hates her and he accuses her of stealing all his money. He tells me he wants to leave her and that she has been stopping him going to see his mother (who died 20 years ago). He is convinced that she is trying to poison him and so he has stopped eating the food she has given him and my Mum has noticed that he has occasionally pretended to take his medication but has actually palmed it! (only found out because he left it on the side of the sink)he did actually pretend to put it in his mouth and swallow. He talks to me about how she is an evil woman who wants to slit his throat when his back is turned. I try to tell him that she loves him and cares for him, but he tells me I don't know her the way he does and that she is a sly person.... On rare occasions of lucidity he tells me how fantastic she is and that he would never hurt her. I have told my Mum that I think it is time for a mental assessment but my Mum is very frightened of having him sectioned as she thinks he will never come out. He has taken Quetiapine and aricept and carbamazapine to absolutely no effect - he has frequent TIA's accompanied by shaking (possible fits according to the stroke consultant. Everything seems to be getting worse and worse and each time a new drug is perscribed we are waiting for his aggression to get better - with no good result. I am sorry this is so long - when I started to type, there was so much to say. I know that no one can give me any answers but we feel so helpless with all this going on. I have my own family with 3 young children and a business and I feel that I am not doing enough to help my Mum and Dad - or really more like I don't know how much I should be doing as nothing seems to be enough. My sister and brother feel the same. If you have read all the way to the end of this - Thank you!
