Christmas: A Moderate Success
When we arrived at Mom's dementia home this morning to take her over to Dad's nursing home, she was in a somewhat sullen mood. Conversation started like:
Mom (seeing Karen): "No."
Karen: "Merry Christmas, Mom!"
Mom: "No."
Karen: "Bah! Humbug!"
Mom: "urmph..."
Then my husband appeared at her other side. Mom burst into tears, partly glad to see him, partly upset, who knows. Mom then waxed sentimental over us, her wonderful kids, but expressed very clearly that this was a terrible place, she didn't like anything about it, she didn't like anyone here. (Some days she loves everyone there and has a lot of good friends.) So we listened sympathetically for a while, and the mood started to blow over, and we turned the conversation to more cheerful channels.
After a couple of attempts, we got Mom to buy into the idea of going to see Dad. Not much trouble getting her wheeled out to the car, into the car, into a wheelchair at the other end, etc. Found Dad, who had a cold, but didn't seem too sick. But by that time Mom (who has had an intestinal virus, which we thought she was about over) began acting like she didn't feel good. Asked if her stomach hurt, she said yes. We took her back to Dad's room and got her lying down on his bed. That seemed more comfortable.
Over the next half hour we got through looking at a few Christmas cards, and opening a couple of presents. (Mom got a purple sweater, and a small stuffed lamb that goes "Bah bah bah..." to the tune of a Christmas song when you squeeze it.) Tilting up the head of the hospital bed did not seem to have any ill effects. The second or third time we asked if she thought she would like to get up and have lunch she said yes, and we wheeled her back to the dining area. She didn't eat, really, but took a couple sips each of juice and milk, and stuck her finger in the whipped cream on the pie a few times.
Getting her back to the dementia home was without trauma, and we left her in a much better mood than she had started the day with. Seemed like a win to us.
Merry Christmas to all!
Karen