time gets harder

henrymatthew

Registered User
Jul 9, 2009
7
0
tonbridge
my wife has had the illness for 5 years now as time gose by the harder it becomes the more lonly u feel people r there freinds by your side famley there next too u but i feel more by my self then ever no longer having the understanding the smale chats just the helpnees in her eyes as i once read its a long walk for two poeple but ony 1 comes back
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
0
70
East Midlands
Hello Henry..Welcome to Talking Point...:) I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here on the forum.

I'm sorry to read about your wife's illness...5 years is a long time to be caring for her.

Do you have any help to look after her?

Love xx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
Hello Henry

I can really identify with you. It gets harder by the day and there`s little we can do about it.

Whoever is there for you can never really understand the isolation of a full time carer.

I do hope you will keep posting on Talking Point as there are many of us in your position. We cannot make it go away but at least we are all in similar situations.
 

Matt's mum

Registered User
Jun 25, 2009
41
0
South wales
Hi Henry I am a newbie to talking point, my dad has only been recently diagnosed although he hasn't been well for a good while.
I am so sorry that your wife has this dreadful illness.
Just wanted to say keep posting everyone is so friendly.
Take care
Love and best wishes
ally xx
 

imp

Registered User
Jun 26, 2009
64
0
Warwickshire
So sorry for your plight Henry. Five years is a long time I am on my third year now and when you describe the look in your Wifes eyes it is exactly how my husband looks at me. Thinking of you Iris
 

hazytron

Registered User
Apr 4, 2008
1,166
0
SOUTH LAKES
Hello Henry
So glad you have found this site and welcome. I hope you find that by expressing your thoughts to us all, you will gain much relief. The support offered, so freely, by so many can be a life saver.
Regards Hazel
 

henrymatthew

Registered User
Jul 9, 2009
7
0
tonbridge
thank u all for the kind words i no things can only get harder but i try hard to get a smile from her if i can manage that it tends to make the day better :eek: i find watching over her while she goes to the toilet washing and bathing hard to do. the anger in her eyes as i try to help take some getting used to /but then Pauline will say something funny like a strange word witch i understand the meaning tends to bring back the sunshine to see her eyes light up when sees me come to pick her up from her club make the day good again sorry to ramble on its just feels good to put my thoughts down
 

gerrie ley

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
83
0
90
bradford yorkshire
Henry

You summed up the situation perfect and yes it does get harder my torture lasted almost eight years the last two being indiscribeable I lost my love for my darling wife over the two years now its returned all I can say is good luck and keep batting on try not to have any regrets at the end. Its probably the hardest thing you will have to endure all your life once again good luck and stick to it
 

gerrie ley

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
83
0
90
bradford yorkshire
friendship

I hope this thread isnt against the moderators and forum rules if so chop it off.
I lost my wife almost tweleve months ago now and I miss her terribly I have no one to talk with who is in the same boat. If anyone male or female would care to chat by email please PM me and I will return with my email address
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
Gerrie what you ask is not against the rules but please be very careful.

In your loneliness and despair you too have become a vulnerable adult and it would be dreadful if anyone were to take advantage of you.

Anyone can register with Talking Point, so you must be sure whoever you give your email address or any other personal details to is genuine.
 

henrymatthew

Registered User
Jul 9, 2009
7
0
tonbridge
today was a good day Pauline got on well we were able to have a good shower no hassle atoll eat well at breakfast fed her self on the day a very good one i no they can come and go but i do feel more at ease tonight/ tomorrow Pauline goes to the day center so i think i shall try to get a chill out day . talking on hear i believe will help me to Handel things i feel i will be able to let of steam much better we r all going though the same problems reading from u is helping thank u henry
 

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
3,720
0
North Derbyshire
Dear Gerrie

Hope you find someone to talk to on a personal level. But also talk to us on here, we have all been through it, and I am sure we can help you.

Best wishes

Margaret
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
0
Birmingham Hades
Hi Gerrie
you will find much support on here from members who have passed along the dementia journey caring for partners.
I cared for my wife for 13 years after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease,any help and advice that we can give is there for you just ask.
Norman
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
Hi Gerrie,
If you simply wish to chat with someone, why not use the PM function to do so? That way, you can take your time and feel people out before deciding to give personal contact details.
 

Cl13

Registered User
Feb 19, 2009
775
0
Cumbria uk
Hi Henry and Gerrie, Welcome to TP, you've found the right place for advice from lots of people who have been where you are today, I've found this place to be a life saver for me and the members here have seen me through some really upsetting days,
keep posting and join in with the others, talking on here doesn't always have to be about the sad and not coping days,
In the tea room you can chat away about almost anything,

Take care

Love Lynn
 

wendyviv

Registered User
Jun 18, 2009
140
0
essex. frinton
Hi you have taken the words out of my mouth I nearly wrote to TP about the same subject of looking after a partner my husband has had alz for 6 years, obviously not so bad in the beginning, but now it is one problem after another, you go to bed at night thinking I solved that one, only to find another in the morning. I would advise you to get your wife assessed. Roy is being assessed on Friday and then it seems that people start helping. I don't really need help, I want to do it all myself but I DO need advice as things happen. I wish I had asked for this before but nobody ever tells you where to go for help. TP has changed my life but the it is very difficult to explain how lonely it is living with someone you can't talk too.:D Do keep in touch love wendy
 

henrymatthew

Registered User
Jul 9, 2009
7
0
tonbridge
wendy

hi there thank u for your kind words it nice to chat with people who no were u r coming from. every day is never like any other no longer able too have that close chat no planing of our life together i get the support from around hear the SS and doctors Pauline has been assessed and i was the same as u i believe i could do it all i do have the rest bite witch i do need . i do find just too try and keep her smiling dose tend too help us both . love to chat too u again love henry
 

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