crushed

[Kazzette]

Hi

I had to see my GP today and after I left I was stunned and later, when I was really able to think, I felt crushed.

She told me that it's been 10 months since Mum's passing and that is plenty of time for me to recover and move on. People die all the time and the fact that I have not made any progress she is very disappointed with me and the fact that I claim benefit at the tax payers expense should be enough for me to get off it. She said it would be different if I didn't claim anything. Why would my depression, which incidently, she doesn't think is a serious mental health issue, be more significant if I didn't have to claim???

Not sure now if how I feel is real or imagined or even if I have any right to feel as I do...........

 

[Skye]

Not sure now if how I feel is real or imagined or even if I have any right to feel as I do...........

Kazzette, I'm stunned!

You have every right to feel as you do, and I'd suggest a strong letter to the practice manager -- and a change of GP.

For sheer insensitivity, that takes the biscuit. If you are suffering from depression, you are suffering from depression, and it is her job to treat you.

I'm absolutely fuming here!

 

[jenniferpa]

Of course you have a right to feel what you feel. What your doctor doesn't have a right to do is to caller herself a healer. Oh she may have passed all the exams but empathy appears to be something that has passed her by. Has she, as a matter of interest offered any practical assistance with "getting over" this? Counselling or something?

Have you considered changing GPs? If she really can't see that what she said was inappropriate and most unhelpful, you may find that she's not great in other areas.


Edited to add: the more I think about this the more irritated I become. As a well medicated and reasonably well functioning depressive I didn't get to this stage just by popping a few pills. I have undergone talk therapy and I see my psychiatrist for medication adjustments on a regular basis. Howe dare she say this isn't a serious problem? Clearly she's never found herself in the situation of a depressive curled in a foetal position and sobbing her eyes out.

 

[Vonny]

Hi Kazette,

I can only echo what Hazel and Jennifer have said.

Your doctor has no right to say either that you should be over it by now - everyone grieves in different ways and at different rates in different circumstances - or to suggest that depression isn't a serious mental health problem. Whilst mild depression can be treated and a normal life resumed, serious depression is a different matter.

As Hazel suggests, I would write a letter to the practice manager asking if there are any doctors in the practice who can deal with mental issues empathetically and sensibly. TO be frank I'd say your GP, far from assisting you, is deepening the depression and if I could have my way doctors like that would be struck off.

Please try and get help from a different doctor. Good luck.

Vonny xxx

 

[Izzy]

That's unbelievable! Would it be easy for you to change GP? Whatever you do I agree that a letter to the practice manager is in order. Take care. Izzy

 

[JPG1]

Kazzette,

In your earlier posts you said that you were 49 years old, and that you had been with your Mum every single day over the last 30 years, and that you hadn’t worked for 18 years, that your Mum adored your daughter’s son, and that your children were supporting you.

Are those children still near you and supporting you and helping you?

Does your GP know that you have not worked for those 18 years?

Because it may help your GP to understand where you are if she knows that. (I’m presuming now that you may not have the same GP that you had 18 years ago.)

It sounds as though your GP may well be thinking about the last 9 months but may have forgotten the 18 years that came before those 9 months, since you lost your Mum. And 18 years without being in full-time work is a very different situation from just a year or so.

Just a thought, as to whether your GP is fully aware of your situation. It could well help her to know.

.

 

[sah]

This is unacceptable-makes me cross!. I lost my dad 8 years ago-mum 23-and still find life tough without them. Don't let anyone tell you grieving has a time limit-load of rubbish.

Lots of good advice on here---I'd certainly change GP.
Hope you have a better day!
sah.x

 

[Cate]

I am shocked that your grief should be met with such cold heartless comments.

I would most certainly change your GP, you are never going to get the support from this person that you need, so why bother trying.

There is no time limit on grief, I still find myself in a dreadful state, having nightmares and generally feeling very low, mum died a year ago on the 29th.

As far as I can see your GP is adding to your pain by trying to make you feel guilty for not 'pulling yourself together and getting a job', shame on him/her.

Best wishes xxxxxx

 

[barbara h]

Hi

I am fuming on your behalf as well. How insensitive for a doctor to be but i can understand how it wasn't until you got away from the doctors that you started thinking clearly about what they said. We just seem to sit and take it from them sometimes especially when you are feeling depressed like you are at the moment. I think a letter of complaint is definately the way to go.

It's a year next week since my mam died and this week leading up to it is very hard as i can't help but think about this time last year and everything that was going on. So grief is a process that we all have to go through and there is no set time scale for this.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

love
barbara h

 

[LesleyMonty]

Hi, I can only reiterate what everyone has said to you. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Dad, then my husband and my younger sister all within 16months of one another the latter in only 2008. Don't let anyone tell you "to pull yourself together". Change your GP - I did and he is so kind and counselling also helped me.
Take Care and look after yourself.