Its here on Sunday and I hate it, my boys are grumbling about having to buy presents then they remember that I carnt and are sorry. I would love somewhere to go that was special to Dad but my memories of the time before AD are still distant and confused. My Dads ashes are in the bottom of a wardrobe at my sisters house as it was decided (not by me) that we would keep them and mix them with Mums before scattering them together. Silly really but I have no closure, Dad is in my sisters wardrobe and it seems to have stuck me in a cycle of grief. My Mum wishes this so I cannot go against her wishes but it also scares me that in some stupid way it could hasten my Mum's end me wishing for closure. I will have to cope on Sunday its been 4 months since I lost Dad but I know that on Sunday it will feel like only yesturday. I know lots of us will be feeling the same so hugs to all wishing you all the best for Sunday.
The Dreaded Fathers Day
- Thread starter Softy
- Start date
Dear Softy,
It might be nice for you to get your dad's ashes and give them a jolly good hug on Sunday. It will be painful but may also be comforting. I often hugged my husband's ashes in the early days following his death. Would it make you feel better if you were looking after them rather than your sister? And is it open for discussion?
Other than that, find some time alone to think back about your dad and let the tears flow if you can. Mothers' and Fathers' Day should be banned, or at least given less publicity IMHO. You can't move in a stationers or supermarket without it screaming at you from every display.
Will be thinking of you on Sunday Softy
Vonny xxx
It might be nice for you to get your dad's ashes and give them a jolly good hug on Sunday. It will be painful but may also be comforting. I often hugged my husband's ashes in the early days following his death. Would it make you feel better if you were looking after them rather than your sister? And is it open for discussion?
Other than that, find some time alone to think back about your dad and let the tears flow if you can. Mothers' and Fathers' Day should be banned, or at least given less publicity IMHO. You can't move in a stationers or supermarket without it screaming at you from every display.
Will be thinking of you on Sunday Softy
Vonny xxx
Softy
((((((Hugs))))))
I found my first Mothers Day difficult this year too. Especially as I had an MIL who wanted it to be special for her as well as boys wanting it to be special for me.
Felt like a duvet day.
Vonny may be right in that maybe if you can look after your Dad's ashes it might make you feel better. I am still waiting to scatter Mums. They sit on a bookshelf and so far we just haven't had the right night for my brother and I to meet up, hopefully soon...but it is comforting I find.
You are not wishing your Mum away, and it may be that even scattering the ashes doesn't give the peace you crave. Only time can do that, but having them close may help you feel comforted. I couldn't bear it while I left Mum's at the undertakers and felt a lot better when I collected them, even though over a year has gone and we haven't scattered them yet. We will though, when the time is right.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
It hasn't been long yet. Take your time.
Love
Mameeskye
((((((Hugs))))))
I found my first Mothers Day difficult this year too. Especially as I had an MIL who wanted it to be special for her as well as boys wanting it to be special for me.
Felt like a duvet day.
Vonny may be right in that maybe if you can look after your Dad's ashes it might make you feel better. I am still waiting to scatter Mums. They sit on a bookshelf and so far we just haven't had the right night for my brother and I to meet up, hopefully soon...but it is comforting I find.
You are not wishing your Mum away, and it may be that even scattering the ashes doesn't give the peace you crave. Only time can do that, but having them close may help you feel comforted. I couldn't bear it while I left Mum's at the undertakers and felt a lot better when I collected them, even though over a year has gone and we haven't scattered them yet. We will though, when the time is right.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
It hasn't been long yet. Take your time.
Love
Mameeskye
God love 'em - and us
There are so many of us who will miss the Dads we had this Father's Day. Just want to say, God bless 'em all - and us too who will shed some tears and hopefully smile some smiles too on Sunday... They are special people, Dads.
There are so many of us who will miss the Dads we had this Father's Day. Just want to say, God bless 'em all - and us too who will shed some tears and hopefully smile some smiles too on Sunday... They are special people, Dads.
Just wondering Softy if it would help if you (now) "owned" something related to your dad e.g. if you wrote a letter to him tomorrow - hard as it might be - those thoughts and sentiments would be your living memories right now and as good as a hug of the ashes?? No-one can take away or withhold your love and feelings and they are as vibrant today as your father was when alive.......you can treasure your words to your father and your thoughts expressed here in TP already as your fathers day tribute.
Well I made it, could not hug his ashes as my Sister lives over 200 miles away from Mum and I but I have some lovely photos of him so we had a chat well I did and he just smiled at me as usual. God I miss him so much but I was so lucky to have him in the first place and lots of people are not so lucky. I know how important my Dad was to me when I was small, he was my protector my rock the one to always stand behind me. He never fought my battles for me just kept a watchful eye to make sure I was ok whilst I stood up for myself. The joy of my life was for Dad to ruffle my hair and say well done dink he would have a proud twinkle in his eye that meant the world to me. All that I am I owe to my parents. I have lost quite a few relatives but nothing can prepare you for loosing a parent, it has knocked me for six and I can tell you my Dad would not be impressed at all.
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