I have just returned from visiting my father and mother and I am unable to sleep. My mum was been diagnosed with AD at the age of 63and my father is finding life very sad at the moment. My mother is so lovely and yet is unable to wash herself take herself to the bathroom and yet every night she thanks my father for all he does for her. Tonight he was very quiet and as I was leaving I asked what was wrong and he said he will never allow her to go into care as long as he is alive but noone visits anymore and he is tired and noone cares. His sister is gravely ill with cancer and all the family are ralling around and doing their bit. My father has lived with this nightmare for 6 years now and people seem to avoid calling on them and visiting........He is feeling let down by his own as well as the proffesionals.
He applied for carers allowance but was refused. I try and have them to meals as often as I can without trying to look like I am taking over. I wash her hair and set it twice a week and she is so grateful and hugs me. She has had a terrible time with her health for about 2 years and we have had conflicting stories as to why she goes 3 days and then messes herself so badly that my father is scared to take her out without full nappies. Noone seems to understand and I find dad is so proud he is carring too much himself. Is there any help out there???????? My father would not admit that we have a problem and I have been told not to discuss my mum with anyone as he does not want all to know.......But all do know and the wonderful lady I know is a shell of the woman I called mum. Please someone if anyone can help...........I have come home after spending 22 years in Aberdeen to be here for dad in Grimsby but I am so LOST and so sad that I don't seem to be any help.
Thanks ......
He applied for carers allowance but was refused. I try and have them to meals as often as I can without trying to look like I am taking over. I wash her hair and set it twice a week and she is so grateful and hugs me. She has had a terrible time with her health for about 2 years and we have had conflicting stories as to why she goes 3 days and then messes herself so badly that my father is scared to take her out without full nappies. Noone seems to understand and I find dad is so proud he is carring too much himself. Is there any help out there???????? My father would not admit that we have a problem and I have been told not to discuss my mum with anyone as he does not want all to know.......But all do know and the wonderful lady I know is a shell of the woman I called mum. Please someone if anyone can help...........I have come home after spending 22 years in Aberdeen to be here for dad in Grimsby but I am so LOST and so sad that I don't seem to be any help.
Thanks ......