worried about tomorrow

[terry16]

Hi everyone
Tomorrow is the day I have arranged to go to doctors with Terry.
He thinks it is for an assessment because he has been on aricept for awhile.But it is really because he had slipped quite a lot in the last few weeks, losing his temper,becoming agitated etc.

However as expected since I made the appointment he has become a lot calmer,I have made a real effort not to leave him for too long,and to keep the grandchildren at arms length.

My problem is what do I tell the doc.I don,t want to exaggerate
the situation but Terry is a dab hand at appearing completely
pained at the whole process.

It was suggested when I asked for appointment that a nurse should come to our home. I think that would be great,but how do
I get through tomorrow without Terry becoming aware that we are working "behind his back"

Sometimes I think it would be better if his problems were more consistent!SCRUB THAT I KNOW THATS RUBBISH.
I just feel I am walking on eggshells and I am not very good at it.

Thanks for listening feel better now it is in print. I will cope
as I know everyone else does,with lots more problems than I have
regards
Jan

 

[Softy]

Hi Jan

Its a dilema I know. this may not be a solution but could you have a private chat with the doctor, with your husband out of the room on the pretence of having a problem of your own to discuss? As for appearing normal, this is quite common my Dad was very good at it but I am sure that your doctor will see through it.

Good luck

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Jan

I discuss my husband with his consultant, his GP and the CPN out of his earshot. I either email, write or phone.
It makes it so much easier to tell it as it is, without having to hold back, for fear of either hurting him or leaving myself open to his absolute denial.
It`s the only way I can tell them the truth.
It`s a shame your appointment is for tomorrow. I can only suggest you write a note detailing your concerns and hand it to the receptionist before seeing the doctor. S/he might be able to read it before s/he sees Terry.
Don`t worry about Terry having mood swings. It is very common with dementia. No one has seen my husband at his worst/best? My son might have seen it couple of times but he still has no idea how it is all the time.

 

[Margarita]

I found it very hard for anyone to believe me about mum mood swings , unless they experience it themselves.

Mum always sat quietly while in the room with the doctor, even if she could not follow the conversation . our doctor could not authorize any medcation for mum anyway .

He would just send mum for a referral at the memory clinic. Then the Practitioner Demetria nurse would come out to our house do test on mum memory , but mum still did not show that temper to them that she showed to us.

It was only when mum started to show ant social behavior at day care , doctor done another referral to Practitioner Demetria nurse, also Social worker came to our house, mum lost her temper with SW, so her report , day care report , Practitioner Demetria nurse, all reports go back to the doctor . They finally believed me . But my mother has never physically attack anyone . So I have never tried any Ant psychotic drugs, or ant anxiety drugs, On mum .

I just feel I am walking on eggshells and I am not very good at it.

I know what you mean. I think its just down to if doctor believe you without experiencing Terry temper himself, even if you did give a note to the receptionist to give to the doctor before you both see doctor.

But its worth a try .

Let us know how it all gos .

 

[Bookworm]

Agree with Sylvia

I discuss my husband with his consultant, his GP and the CPN out of his earshot. I either email, write or phone.
It makes it so much easier to tell it as it is, without having to hold back, for fear of either hurting him or leaving myself open to his absolute denial.
It`s the only way I can tell them the truth.
It`s a shame your appointment is for tomorrow. I can only suggest you write a note detailing your concerns and hand it to the receptionist before seeing the doctor. S/he might be able to read it before s/he sees Terry.
Don`t worry about Terry having mood swings. It is very common with dementia. No one has seen my husband at his worst/best? My son might have seen it couple of times but he still has no idea how it is all the time.

I agree with Sylvia - If your appt is not 8.30/9 (& I doubt you would have made it for then) perhaps you could pop down with a short "bullet" point note of the main issues in an envelope labelled to be read by Dr X BEFORE appt with Mr Y @ (time).......

Failing that just hand s/he a note as you walk in the room - may not even be noticed while chairs are sat upon if you walk in first & greet GP loquaciously!!