mum's nursing home

Simmo

Registered User
Apr 25, 2008
5
0
West Midlands
I'm in a bit of a predicament about my mum who has been in a nursing home since January, she has vascular dementia. When my father and myself went to look around the home we were really impressed, it's a new building, mum has a lovely big bedroom with ensuite bathroom, it's all very clean and airy and we were advised that 2 members of staff are present in the lounge at any one time.

We have since found this not to be the case. Many times when we've visited there have been no staff members in site, and as mum has a tendency to wander and fall over this obviously causes us great concern. I couldn't begin to count how many times she has fallen since January, we've had to take her to hospital twice ourselves, once when she fell and banged her head and then again last week when she fell and badly bruised her bottom. On the same day last week but on a separate occasion she fell and knocked over another resident who unfortunately broke their hip.

Dad went to see her aftern breakfast yesterday and said she was 'wearing' most of the breakfast. Dad mentioned the mess she was in and they claim that mum refused to wear an apron but they did go and change her clothes, not so sure they would have done though had dad not mentioned it.

Also last week the home arranged for a consultant from the memory clinic to visit mum to review her medication. Had dad not gone to visit her at the time the consultant was there I don't think we would have known anything about it, and I feel that this is something that we should have been notified of as I would have liked to have been present.

These are just a few things that have started to niggle me, I don't know whether we should risk unsettling mum and putting her in a different home, or are they all the same, something I wouldn't imagine you would know until you have experience of the home:confused:.

Sorry to go on, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

Simmo
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
I'm very sorry to read this story.

Have you spoken to the manager of the home about it? If so, what did they say?

Regarding the consultant and medication, why not have it put in writing that your Dad is to be informed of these things before the event?
 

Royalslady

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
147
0
Hi Simmo

I do know how you feel. It is worrying if things don't go as you expected them to. I would recommend putting your concerns in writing to the CH, if you haven't already. If you do not receive a satisfactory response, maybe then ask for a meeting to discuss your concerns.

I hate complaining about anything, but when you are doing it on behalf of someone else, who is defenceless and unable to speak for themselves, it seems a little easier.

I hope things improve for your Mum soon.

Pat
 

JJP

Registered User
Apr 29, 2009
7
0
Southport
Personally I would at least start looking around at other homes. I have found that sometimes the brightest and largest homes have the least 'visible' care staff and that the smaller and 'scruffier' ones can provide a better level of care.

But it takes time to find the best place for your mum so do start looking. I moved my aunt from a similar-sounding place to a much smaller home and we were really pleased at the change in how she was treated...Be assured, they are not all the same!

If there is still a social worker on her case then you could ask for some suggestions maybe...Also I have found through searching for a home for my neighbour (and previously my dad) that you dont have to choose an EMI home, as shes had a few falls, a home with more of a nursing element might help?
 

botanico

Registered User
Dec 4, 2007
22
0
My mum was in a nursing home for about two years and one or two things there worried me. I liked the staff and so it made it difficult to complain as I didn't want to ruin the relationship I had with them and I was aware that mum was there all the time and I worried what it might be like for her when I wasn't around. I tried to tackle one or two things for example weight loss and a fall by being very proactive in asking them how she was and discussing her care records with them every time I went in. I think they realised I was watching carefully and it didn't feel quite so uncomfortable as a direct confrontation. I have to say though that I have now moved my mum and her new nursing home is quite different. She seems more relaxed (she has VAD) and the move although not without risks has gone better than I could have hoped. The move wasn't just because of the level of care but also so that mum could be nearer to all of her family. I often think how lucky I was to be able to move mum and if I hadn't been able to move her if I would have been able to challenge them about my concerns. I also feel you have to trust your own judgement on the level and standard of care that is being delivered it's only by seeing somewhere different I have a comparison point and confirmaton that my concerns were valid.
 

Marianne

Registered User
Jul 5, 2008
301
0
NW England
Hi Simmo

I would start by writing to the Manager of the home stating your concerns about the falls your mum has suffered, the lack of supervision and the lack of information/communication with your dad and yourself regarding medical assessments. I would copy your letter to the owner or Managing Director of the Group of the home and to your mum's SW.

If you don't want to complain for fear of what might happen to your mum I would suggest you find a new home and move her. They are neglecting your mum and the other residents by not providing adequate supervision. Have they recorded these falls correctly in her care notes. Keep a diary.

Good Luck
Marianne
 

erm

Registered User
Jan 28, 2009
14
0
Hi Simmo,

I hope things are improving with your mum's nursing home.

I recently had to chose a home for my mum, fortunately I've worked in several homes which helps. But in the end I used a combination of care home reviews and my instincts and went for what felt right.

The home I chose is quite shabby, the rooms small and some of the furniture having seen better days. Mum doesn't have an ensuite but since she's not mobile that's not a huge problem. But what I liked about the home was it was small (20 residents), friendly with a real homely, family feel, residents who looked well cared for and staff who seemed happy in their jobs.

Mum is very anxious and disorientated due to her condition and that's making it hard for her to settle. But the staff are always on hand to discuss any concerns I may have, I never have to ask how mum is or what's been happening because the staff always update me when I arrive, mum looks clean and well cared for and is always dressed in matching clothes.

I find Mum's condition very upsetting, but knowing I've got her into a very good home really helps. I know it's difficult to complain about things, but if you're still unhappy then I would suggest a meeting with the home manager or your mum's social worker. And if need be think about moving your mum to a different home. I'm sure like me when you first had to find a home you felt under pressure to come up with somewhere, now you could take a little more time. For your own peace of mind it's important that the home is somewhere you are happy with.

Hope this helps.