Update on mum

[Kate P]

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing as well as possible. I still check in with you all to see how you're doing but I'm wary of posting advice and support at the moment because I have postnatal depression and I can never be sure if my brain is working properly!!

Last time I posted I had found a wonderful home for mum and dad liked it and had agreed for her to move in.

Unfortunately it all ended up happening much sooner than we had anticipated as one day mum just couldn't move at all. Wouldn't you know it was on a Saturday and we couldn't get any help!!

Anyway the home agreed to take mum in straight away and she moved in that afternoon. She continued to deteriotate over the week and it turned out that she had a UTI - we all know the damage they cause.

It one respect it made her settle easier - she doesn't seem to have been distressed at all by the move and is now on less medication that she was at home which I'm quite pleased about. The aggression and violence seems to have finally passed.

It doesn't seem that she'll ever be able to walk again although the staff are working very hard to make her exercise her legs and stand as much as possible each day but there's little progress.

Thankfully the home is as good as we had hoped and we have no complaints at all - not a single one - they just couldn't be better.

We've all been coping quite well with the change too although it takes time to get used to a new way of life. Haven't been too upset other than on Sunday. I had sat my seven month old son on her knee (her first grandson) and she can't hold him or reach out to him at all. It just broke my heart a little that she's never going to get to hold my son and smile back at him. We can't have it all but it's not a lot to ask for in life...

Thinking of you all.

Kate

 

[cariad]

Hi Kate,
thanks for the update, I remember when you first started posting. FTD is such a cruel disease. Sorry to hear that your mam isn't too good but congrats on the baby! Sadly my mam died on Christmas Day (08). Thank God for kids, they keep you going!
Warm regards, Berni

 

[Helen33]

Hello Kate

First of all I am glad that you have found such a wonderful home for your mum and that she is settled and needs less medication. I am sorry though about the circumstances which hastened her being admitted to the home and that mum has still not gained mobility.

Sunday must have been very sad when mum couldn't respond to your son (her grandson)

If you think that you could gain support and contact from TP, don't let post natal depression stop you Katie

Love and best wishes

 

[connie]

Dear Kate, thank you for the update.

Despite all the upheaval it is good to know that your mum settled reasonably well.

So sad when general movement goes, along with mobility. Lionel has been in that position for over two years now, unable to hold anything in his hand or on his lap.

We just have to hang on to what we still have. Hope things get a little easier for you to cope with.

 

[Margarita]

The aggression and violence seems to have finally passed.

It doesn't seem that she'll ever be able to walk again although the staff are working very hard to make her exercise her legs and stand as much as possible each day but there's little progress.

Sounds like you have found a very good home for your mother, also pleased to read the aggression and violence has finally pass.

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Kate

It is good to hear from you. I too remember the tears for the times my Mum could not enjoy with my sons. It is hard when you so want to share this time with your Mum.

UTI's cause such damage. Mum had a really bad one about 18 months before she died and we all thought that she would never walk again, but after being bed-rdden for 6 weeks and then only sitting in a chair with help she somehow managed to get to her feet and start walking. The staff could not believe it as we thought that her mobility had gone. You can just not tell what will happen with this dreaded disease.

I am glad though that your Mum is settled. Hope that you are getting the support you need to get through the PND. It's rotten isn't it?

Love

Mameeskye

 

[Skye]

Hi Kate

So good to hear from you again, and to see your lovely baby.

Your mum sounds to be much like my John, and as you know, his problems started with a UTI too.

Like your mum, he can't hold his two youngest grandchildren, and that's sad. But when they're held up to him, he responds, in fact he never takes his eyes off them when they are there. EEye response and a smile are all I get these days, but they are so precious.

Sorry about the PND, but you did so well to get to full term and have such a lovely, healthy baby. Please stay with us. We may not be able to help much with the depression, but you know we're here to support you.

Love,

 

[roundy]

Hi Kate.
Don't think we have met yet,though our mums are in the same home. I have to agree your mum does seem settled after those first few days. Mum has good days and bad,and sometimes,due to the guilt,I find myself being critical about the home but you are right we couldn't haven't found them anywhere better and the staff are good.It has took me time to get used to it,I think I have been worse than my mum at times!!Do hope the balcony will be finished soon,then my mum can get out for a cigarrett without having to go off the unit.
Take Care
Lisa.xxx

 

[christine_batch]

Dear Kate,

I am glad that you have found a good Care Home for your Mum.

It does not seem all that long ago when we were looking at baby James scan. So sorry that you have PND but relieved for you that you went full term.

When little ones are involved and we know the person suffering does not recognise is so hard to bear.

God Bless
Take care of yourself.

Love from
Christine.

p.s. Hope Milly has accepted she had a brother.