thank you and update :)

x-lauren-x

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
125
0
hiya
Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who replied to my last post it was really helpful to me and my mum- sorry i have been so slow in getting back to you, this week seems to have gone so fast! Hope you are all ok :) This week my uncle seems to be less depressed but much more aggressive, he has been very angry with the carers and seems really confused- although he had stages of this before it suddenly seems to be much worse again now. The psychiatrist is due to see him tomorrow, he thinks there could be a drug inbalance as he changed his previous medication because it caused terrible hallucinations. Today my uncle was talking about his family and asking about his mum and brother- both who have passed away- should we explain this or is it better to nod and agree and say they are fine etc? we definatly dont want to upset him but at the same time didnt want to make him any more confused or anxious so didnt really know the best move- does anyone have expereince of this? Also, he seems unwell in himself, he keeps saying he wants to die and refuses to get out of bed even for meals- he was like this once before when he was living at home and i really dont want to go back to how he was then- it was so horrible to see him so depressed and thin. Sorry for such a long and jumbled post, just had to write everything down- i think its in a bit of a better order in my head now too ( sorry if i sound like ive gone mad! i promise i havent..yet!) hope everyone's ok
thank you for reading :) lv lauren xxxxx
 

Vonny

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
4,584
0
Telford
Hi Lauren,

My mum often asks where members of her (now deceased) family from childhood are. Like you, to start with, I didn't know what to say. Now I just play it by ear depending on her mood, but I'll usually just say "they're not here".

I'm glad the psychiatrist is coming tomorrow, your uncle sounds like he really needs some help. Getting the medication just right is sometimes trial and error. Saying he wants to die and refusing to get out of bed or eat is distressing for you. I hope the psychiatrist cn prescribe something which kicks in quickly. Like I said though, it may be some time before your uncle can be stabilised.

My mum was prescribed Citalopram a few weeks ago to combat her continual crying and it worked a treat. The trouble is she fitted a couple of weeks ago and now she is having sort of mini0fits every night, tremors, jerking etc so today the doctor has told dad to lay of the citalopram and increase the amitryptaline. It's case of wait and see.

Don't worry about a jumbly post! We all do it when there is so much to say and you're trying to get it all across. Sounds like you love your uncle to bits and I really hope there will be some improvement after tomorrow's consultation.

Vonny xx
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
Hello Lauren,
My mother often used to ask to visit her mother (who died in 1970). I learned to say "Yes, let's do that tomorrow". When she asked how her parents were, (grandfather died in 1971) I used to say "Fine - same as always" and this seemed to reassure her.

So I would lie about a family member being dead, because if you tell your uncle they're dead, he might only get upset. You can say they're fine, they're at work, on holiday, out for a walk, whatever makes him feel reassured is good.
 

x-lauren-x

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
125
0
hiya
Thank you for replying, when my uncle asked about his mum and if she was going to come in and see him we said we were sure she would be in soon.He seemed reassured by this so i think like you said, it seems a good way forward to avoid causing any more upset for him. The psychiatrist wants to talk with the doctor about his medication so we will wait and see for that, hopefully we can work something out soon. Today my mum went to visit while i was at school and she said he wasnt so good again, he is still lying in bed and even asked if she could make him some of those little plated meals( something she used to do for him when he lived at home) this was strange in a way because he never used to eat them , infact they would ususally be thrown away so it was strange how he remembered this! i think like you said, we need to wait and see what the psychiatrist and doctor come back with, i know how lovely the carers are and they have been brilliant in going in and sitting with my uncle , taking food in if he doesnt want to come out or turning on his tele etc.
Thanks again, hope you are ok,
lots of luv
xxxx
 

Vonny

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
4,584
0
Telford
Hi Lauren,

Encouraging that your uncle is showing an interest in meals. Let's hope the doctor and psychiatrist come up with some meds that help now.

Your mum must be glad that you are showing such an interest in helping her brother. Keep up the good work and let us know what the doctor comes back with

Vonny xx
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
This week my uncle seems to be less depressed but much more aggressive, he has been very angry with the carers and seems really confused-

My mother got like that this week, with one of the carer, she got herself in to a right angry confused state, that she did not want her anymore. that I had to phone up the agency ask for another carer now she fine with this other lady . Mind you I don't know for how long.

we need to wait and see what the psychiatrist and doctor come back with,

let us know how it all gos with seeing them.

Wishing you all the best, thanks for the update .
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
This week my uncle seems to be less depressed but much more aggressive, he has been very angry with the carers and seems really confused-

My mother got like that this week, with one of the carer, she got herself in to a right angry confused state, that she did not want her anymore, that I had to phone up the agency ask for another carer . told them to tell ther carer not to take it personal, with mum wanting someone else, just my mother moods changes .

Now mum fine with this other lady, Mind you I don't know for how long for .

we need to wait and see what the psychiatrist and doctor come back with,

let us know how it all gos with seeing them.

Wishing you all the best, thanks for the update .
 
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x-lauren-x

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
125
0
today my mum went to visit whilst i tackled an english essay(boo!) and everything seemed to go really well- he was much better than previously, still confused etc but more chatty - a bit more like his old self. The carers and doctor thought he may be progressing into the next stage of the illness as he has started to need more help and had these terrible depressive phases. However, today he seemed so much brighter - so at the moment we are workiong on the tomorrow is another day theroy - with up days and down days, taking everything as it comes.Im going in tomorrow, im making a sponge cake with strawberries on because they are his favourite so hopefully that will help to cheer him up a bit too :) Thank you for all your support so far, its so nice to come on and speak to people who understand and have been through something similar :)
lots of love
lauren xxxxx

(i dont know if i said this before, i call ray my uncle, but hes a family freind, since i was little ive always know him as uncle so it stuck that way -sounds daft saying it outloud :) we are down as contacts because his relatives live several hours away, but we keep them updated etc :) ) xxxx
 

Vonny

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
4,584
0
Telford
Hi Lauren,

Thanks for the update, it sounds fairly positive. "Uncle" Ray and his family are very lucky to have you and yours to look after him. His family must bless you daily for your lovely care of him

Vonny xxx
 

x-lauren-x

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
125
0
thanks Vonny :) Just having some lunch after finally finishing that english essay! have made a vicotria sandwich with strawberries on top so will take a slice in when we go to visit in a bit! I have just found a big toad on the patio which is currently living in our washing up bowl- my mums not so keen! so i think i have a bit of rehousing to do as well haha!
have a good day xxxxx