New Member

[Shazdia]

Hi my name is Sharon and I am new to this site.
My mother was diagnosed with Dementia last September and I am finding it very difficult to cope with it, I am looking for help and advice on how to manage the emotional side of this situation and hope others will be able to help from their own experience with this terrible disease. My sister and I between us care for her, although at the moment she still lives in her own home as we work and cannot yet be with her 24 hours a day. She is still quite independent and we are trying to let her remain where she is for as long as possible.
Well thats it for now hope to speak to you all soon.

 

[gigi]

Hello Sharon...

Welcome to Talking Point..

You'll find a lot of emotional and practical support here from people in the same boat...

Please feel free to join in any of the discussions..and don't forget the Tea Room is there for the occasional bit of relaxation.

The site is being modified over Monday and Tuesday..but I'm sure the essence will be the same when it returns on Wednesday.

Love gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Sharon

I have moved your Thread to the main support section where more people will see it and hopefully offer some support.

There is no rule book for living with dementia, it`s a very tough learning curve. We can only manage our emotions as well as we can.

The best way for me is to share my feelings with those in the same position. They are the only ones who really understand how our lives are affected.

And that is why Talking Point [TP] is such a valuable support web site for so many of us.

I hope it will be the same for you.

 

[Margarita]

Welcome to talking point Shazdia

I am looking for help and advice on how to manage the emotional side of this situation and hope others will be able to help from their own experience with this terrible disease.

It can become a roller coaster of emotion as you see changes the happening. Best advice I got from being on Talking point is taking one day at the time .

 

[Vonny]

Hi Sharon,

I can only echo what other people have said: it's a rollercoater of a life but you'll get practical advice and emotional support here, and take one day at a time. Because there are so many of us with various loved ones at different stages there is usually someone who knows something about almost anything. I've learned so much in the short time I've been a member and regret not joining sooner before mum got so poorly. Better late than never eh?

Good luck and keep posting...on the new site Can't wait for Wednesday to see what it is like.

Vonny xx

 

[x-lauren-x]

Hi and welcome to TP
I dont have much to add to what everyone has already said so well, but just to say enjoy the 'up' days and we are always here to help you with the 'down' ones- my theory is 'tomorrow is another day' with every bad day, there will always be /have been good memories from good days.
Good luck with everything, do let us know how you get on
lv lauren xxx

 

[Annoula]

welcome to the TP!

i am sure you'll find great support in here.

take care of yourself!

 

[Helen33]

Hello Sharon

Welcome to Talking Point. It is a shame that you have just joined us when TP will be offline from tomorrow until Wednesday due to improvements but the illness isn't going to go away and we will all be here next week

When my husband was diagnosed with a dementia I did eventually become worried about me managing my emotions as well as being able to care for him to the best of my ability. I contacted the local branch of the Alzheimers Society and someone came to visit me. She was the first person that I shared any of my feelings, worries, hopes and experiences to and she was marvellous. She visited me several times and drip fed me information and options and encouragement which I found very empowering. I attend a carers support group held by the Alzheimers Society and that helps such a lot. I also contacted the Carers Federation and they had a lot to offer as well.

I remember not really knowing what I needed but I have slowly taken steps to find the right people to help me and Talking Point has helped me each step of the way.

Sending love and best wishes and will look forward to seeing you around the site when it re-opens

 

[Snip]

Welcome Sharon....I've only been here a little while but it has helped me loads already

One day at a time is a great idea. And finding time to take time out is really necessary too, if you can manage it.

Best wishes to you, your sister and your mum....I have a sister who shares the care and we used to fight like cat and dog because my sister felt that mum could remember things if only she would try harder Since the formal diagnosis (and reading the Contented Dementia book) she has accepted that mum is ill and stopped shouting at her so much. We are getting on better again because of this. How do you and your sister find sharing the care??

Best wishes


Snip x

 

[evedan]

Hello Sharon

I too am sailing on this boat and it is a long long journey, but with the help of TP you will gain a lot of knowledge so keep in touch. As the saying goes its good to talk.
TAKE CARE
EVEDAN (KEEP SMILING) XX

 

[Cl13]

Hi Sharon, like everyone else has said TP is a great place to be, you'll always have a lot of support here, you will find some to talk to just about any time of the day and a lot of the night too, and dont forget you can send any of us a private message if you think a particular person may be able to help you, or you may not want to discuss a problem on the board, there's lots of practical help too, there are people like you and I who are quite new to this awfull desease, and others who have been careing for someone for years, bye4now Lynn

 

[Sam Iam]

Hi Sharon,
Welcome to TP xx

Like you and your Sister I am main carer to my Mum who by the way was diagnosed in September (AD). I am lucky enough to live in her house.
Emotion is the biggest part of being a carer, when your loved one says something like " your just like your Dad" you fly high, when they cant remember where they have put their purse or keep asking you where their pension card is, or when they look like death warmed up (sorry if I offend but on Mum's bad days this is how she looks ) your lower than a snakes belly and stressed beyond belief
you worry that you dont care enough, you worry that you are to protective, phew the list goes on
BUT when I am on TP realise that I have to calm down as Mum is still quite high functioning and I have got her bills paid by DD and keep her money she has in the house to a minimum.

She has lunch time carers who only have to check she has eaten as she ( since they started coming) remembers to eat.
So all in all I have tried to cover all of her needs and LIVE DAY TO DAY but I still worry Qui Serra Serra! I wish I could live up to that

 

[Shazdia]

Firstly I would like to thank you all for the welcome and in a sad way it is comforting to know that there are others that are either in the same position as me or have been coping with it a lot longer than I have.
I am still trying to come to terms with some of the things that have been said and getting my head around all the advice I have already been given.
To answer you question Snip, my sister and I have now become a lot closer. We didn't see that much of each other for years as we both lead very different lives so we didn't come into conflict but since our mother's diagnosis we talk a lot more and see each other quite often.
Unfotunatley my brother's wife is dieing from cancer so he cannot help as much as he would like, but he has given us his support and again I have spoken to him more in the last 6 months than I have ever done.
Well thats it for now see you in other threads.