Mums condition is not getting any better and this evening nurse asked me if I was going to stay the night. This took me by surprise as she had earlier said it could be "days" when I asked how long did she think mum had left. Nurse says all they can do not is make sure mum is comfortable.
I know no-one has an answer of how long but suddenly it hit me " mum is really going to die" and now I am home, decided not to stay, I am thinking they are wrong, tomorrow she will start to eat and drink again, be able to breath properly and will be sitting in chair in day room when I go to visit. I know deep down I am wrong, I though I was prepared but I guess I am not.
I am getting scared now, I could not even talk to mum today apart from to tell her I loved her and tell her to go to sleep to rest. She did not, she has been awake and so restless today.
I know no-one has an answer of how long but suddenly it hit me " mum is really going to die" and now I am home, decided not to stay, I am thinking they are wrong, tomorrow she will start to eat and drink again, be able to breath properly and will be sitting in chair in day room when I go to visit. I know deep down I am wrong, I though I was prepared but I guess I am not.
I am getting scared now, I could not even talk to mum today apart from to tell her I loved her and tell her to go to sleep to rest. She did not, she has been awake and so restless today.