Moving Dad follow up

[Barby]

We are now having to wait again probably for 20 weeks, according to the Court of Protection, before we might be able to move Dad closer to us!
We had even thought of 'Dadnapping' him away from his present home but have been advised against that.........that is how desperate we feel about the way this situation is going!

At the last visit Dad looked so frail just sitting in a chair on his own, languishing away before our very eyes. As it was a sunny day we took him out in the car for a drive and he really came to life again. It seems almost cruel to leave him in his present CH with hardly any visitors but it looks like we just have to wait while things go through the system.

Our last hope is to try and convince BIL again about moving him closer to family who can visit him on an almost daily basis.If he won't change his mind Dad will be condemned to a solitary existence with no regular visitors where he is and we will have to wait the 20 weeks while the COP make a decision and just hope he doesn't deteriorate too much.

We are left feeling absolutely distraught and so depressed about not being able to do anything
Barby

 

[ella24]

Oh Barby, how frustrating.

Have you got access to an advocate (via SS) for them to talk to dad and ascertain his wishes?

e

 

[Barby]

Hi Ella
they tell us that Dad is not able to make his own decisions anymore so we have to go to COP as the Independant Mental Capacity Advocacy only deals with people who have no next of kin or attorneys. When he was able to make decisions he said he would like to move near to us but SS said we had to have that in writing!!!
Barby

 

[jenniferpa]

That thudding noise you can hear is me banging my head against the desk. Have it in writing? At what point do you break down in hysterics?

I don't know whether this is appropriate or feasible but I have you considered applying for an emergency order via the COP? 20 weeks is a heck of a long time for a person in your father's condition.

 

[ella24]

they tell us that Dad is not able to make his own decisions anymore so we have to go to COP as the Independant Mental Capacity Advocacy only deals with people who have no next of kin or attorneys. When he was able to make decisions he said he would like to move near to us but SS said we had to have that in writing!!!

That is just pants....

With my gran, she could make decisons but not remember the decision made but the advocate was brought in to help her out... under a discretionary not mandatory arrangement.

I've just found this online about referral to an IMCA service...

There are two sorts of referral. Those that must referred to the IMCA service (mandatory), and those that may be referred (discretionary).

Mandatory referrals to the IMCA service are those where a person a) lacks capacity to make a specific decision about serious medical treatment or a longterm accommodation move (of more than 28 days in a hospital or 8 weeks in a care home) and b) does not have appropriate family or friends to be consulted.

There are two types of discretionary referrals: 1) Care reviews where accommodation has been arranged for a person who has no appropriate family or friends to consult 2) Safeguarding adults cases where a protective measure is proposed or has been taken whether or not there is appropriate family or friends to consult.

 

[Barby]

Thanks Ella and Jennifer
we think we'll try the emergency order with COP but the SS told us that was only for people who are dying......and we feel Dad is going to die if left where he is!.
Also we'll ring IMCA again and have a chat about the situation.
We are also going to contact Age Concern where Dad's home is and see if they might help out with an Advocate.
wish us luck
Barby

 

[ella24]

wish us luck

you've got it in bucketloads from me

x

 

[jenniferpa]

Don't get me wrong, but you could be right (about dying that is). There's a certain element of "giving up" when it comes to the frail elderly. I don't want to frighten you but I would definitely be putting this point across stridently if necessary.