Although I rarely post I visit the site most days, I'm not sure where to start but my MIL has been in a care home for 13 months now, she was living alone but not coping at all well and although she was having careers three times a day they were very unreliable, she was not getting fed properly, and although the book said she was having a wash the soap and flannel were always dry.
She has two sons, and myself and SIL saw mum every day, taking care of shopping and generally keeping her company, the boys visited a couple of times a week due to work commitments. (both SIL and myself work full time but locally which meant that we were able to visit more often.
Things were getting bad (although now having read some of the posts on here I'm not sure if we did not jump the gun a little). We would receive phone calls early evening (sundowning?) where she would cry and be really upset, this happened almost every day. She could never remember seeing anyone, even if I had only just got back home. She would spent her days sitting in a chair
doing nothing, she wouldn't have the TV or radio on. I now now this is pretty much routine.
She was diagnosed with AZ about five years ago at the age of 80 (she has no other medical conditions) and has been on Aricept for a past two years which seems to have been of some benefit.
When the decision was made to find a care home for mum we were not too worried out the future. She had a nest egg and a house worth in excess of £300,000 (jan2008). We found her a wonderful home just 3 miles away who had immediate vacancies and she moved in, its a private home with a special floor dedicated to AZ sufferers and we could not ask for a better home, its is like a four star hotel. She has now settled and is content although her only memories are of her childhood and although she recognises us as familiar does not know our names.
Now for the advice bit... both sons have been burying there heads in the sand and the final straw came last week when the sale of her house fell through 2 days before completion for the 2nd time, she only has three months care home fees left in the bank (6,000 per month) and with no sale on the horizon we have to make some decisions. The four of us are meeting tomorrow and I would like to be able to discuss what our options are.
I believe the home will let us defer payment until the property sells (need to confirm this) but my issue is that we are going to have to take a very large drop £250,00 if we are lucky which with the interest rates being so dire at the moment is not going to last very long. (MIL is fit and healthy apart from AZ) Should we continue to keep here in her current home until she completely runs out of money and has to be funded by the SS (they would surly move her as we could not possibly pick up the difference or should we start of look around at cheaper homes so that at least we can buy her care for a longer length of time. If only we all had a crystal ball!
She has two sons, and myself and SIL saw mum every day, taking care of shopping and generally keeping her company, the boys visited a couple of times a week due to work commitments. (both SIL and myself work full time but locally which meant that we were able to visit more often.
Things were getting bad (although now having read some of the posts on here I'm not sure if we did not jump the gun a little). We would receive phone calls early evening (sundowning?) where she would cry and be really upset, this happened almost every day. She could never remember seeing anyone, even if I had only just got back home. She would spent her days sitting in a chair
doing nothing, she wouldn't have the TV or radio on. I now now this is pretty much routine.
She was diagnosed with AZ about five years ago at the age of 80 (she has no other medical conditions) and has been on Aricept for a past two years which seems to have been of some benefit.
When the decision was made to find a care home for mum we were not too worried out the future. She had a nest egg and a house worth in excess of £300,000 (jan2008). We found her a wonderful home just 3 miles away who had immediate vacancies and she moved in, its a private home with a special floor dedicated to AZ sufferers and we could not ask for a better home, its is like a four star hotel. She has now settled and is content although her only memories are of her childhood and although she recognises us as familiar does not know our names.
Now for the advice bit... both sons have been burying there heads in the sand and the final straw came last week when the sale of her house fell through 2 days before completion for the 2nd time, she only has three months care home fees left in the bank (6,000 per month) and with no sale on the horizon we have to make some decisions. The four of us are meeting tomorrow and I would like to be able to discuss what our options are.
I believe the home will let us defer payment until the property sells (need to confirm this) but my issue is that we are going to have to take a very large drop £250,00 if we are lucky which with the interest rates being so dire at the moment is not going to last very long. (MIL is fit and healthy apart from AZ) Should we continue to keep here in her current home until she completely runs out of money and has to be funded by the SS (they would surly move her as we could not possibly pick up the difference or should we start of look around at cheaper homes so that at least we can buy her care for a longer length of time. If only we all had a crystal ball!
