Sad sad day

[Georgina N]

Next day

Dear friends, & thank you Sue, Angela & Robert for your support
as well......Have woken up still so tired & I have had 9 hours sleep! Feel as if I could just go back to bed [might do later]
Our EMI nurse is calling round at 10.30 to have a chat with me which is good of her. She has already been to see David [yesterday=
I didn't know she was going]. She said he was confused but not agitated.
My worry is that he will wonder where I am and think that I have abandoned him....
he is more lucid in the mornings than later on .
How do others deal with this?
The home say it is best to leave it a few days before I visit to let him settle in ...

 

[susiesue]

Hi Georgina

Go back to bed!!!! - make the most of the respite and have a lovely lay in!!! sounds to me like you are suffering from exhaustion - probably mental and physical.....

Love Sue

 

[foxhound]

Back to sleep later a very good idea if you can, but what about a good long chat with the horses followed by a pipe-clearing gallop?

The CPN sounds very nice staying in touch with both of you.

The feeling of not being there to comfort and re-assure is a horrible horrible searing one - I know conventional wisdom is to give it a few days, but my own feeling would be to see how you feel this afternoon, talk to the home and take a view then.

All courage.

 

[Helen33]

Hello Georgina

I just wanted to say "hello" this morning. I can imagine that you are completely exhausted and I think you will have not much choice but to take things steadily. I hope you benefit from the talk with the EMI nurse this morning.

I realise from what you've said that you are surrounded by loss and you need to be as kind and understanding to yourself as possible.

Love and best wishes Georgina

 

[susiesue]

I realise from what you've said that you are surrounded by loss and you need to be as kind and understanding to yourself as possible.

Here! Here!- spoil yourself!!

Love Sue x

 

[roundy]

hi
Its always a worry that in their more lucid moments they will remember and resent the fact the fact they are in there. My mum is the same,she is fine in the morning but come 4pm she is climbing the walls!
I have been thinking of you.
Love Lisa.xx

 

[Georgina N]

relieved to find he is not missing me...

This will sound strange, I know , but when I rang the care home
today, I was relieved to hear that David has not been asking for me.

Of course I realise that this is because he is beyond anything like that, but I was just so glad that he did not think that I had abandoned him.

I miss him so much, but know that he is far better cared for than I could manage. 24 hour days care were nearly killing me.....being constantly on alert I had forgotten what real sleep was.

This doesn't mean that leaving him there was easy. I think that I am in a state of shock really, as I had not anticipated events
taking this turn so soon...Love to all of you....xx

 

[roundy]

I have pm you back,my heart goes out to you.
xxxx

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Georgina

, I was relieved to hear that David has not been asking for me.

I understand just how you feel. Knowing your husband has not been asking for you reassures you that you are the only one who is suffering, and he is as fine as he could be, whether he is in his own home or in respite care.

It is still devastating to have reached this stage but some consolation I hope.

When my husband was in assessment, he sat by the front door waiting for me. It was dreadful.

 

[gillian69]

I sympathise

Hi Georgine,
I fully sympathise with you, as my dad has gone through the same, having to leave my mum in a home too.
Take care

Gillian

 

[Georgina N]

Update

Rang the care home today and was told that David is calmer and talking to the other residents more.
I asked whether he was wanting to know where I was but apparently
he hasn't mentioned me recently!

Today is Friday, I took him there on Monday.
The manager told me that he thinks that some of the ladies there are his wife! Don't know whether to laugh or cry on that one, but
am relieved to hear that he is not distressed.

I'm going to visit on Sunday morning. They had told me to leave it until he was more settled which he appears to be so far.

But the reality hit me today. He will not be coming home to live,
I am on my own from now on. Well ,I know that many of you are in this situation but it has taken a while for it to sink in with me.

I just suddenly can't stop crying, and I thought that I had been doing so well up to now....

 

[kelli]

Gosh! im not usually so thick, but its taken me ages to work out how to type anything .... Anyway, i just feel so desperate for you, as im in a similar situation with my dad.I havent as yet worked out how to write something in my own right, when i do i will write my piece.I do hope you will be strong and gain strength from your friends and family.
with admiration for your courage.....kelli xxx