Hello All
I have a six year old. My mum is in a home and has alzheimers and my dad died last September.
I thought my daughter was coping well, we have always been open with her about everything that is happening and she was visiting mum with me and getting on well with her,always cuddling her and making each other laugh.
Five weeks ago we went to visit mum and I could see a difference in my daughter. When we got into the car she said "Nanna feels different" and I told her it was all because of Nanna's illness but she didn't have to visit her with me if she didn't want to and she seemed relieved.
Since then she has been really grumpy with me and last night she was obviously trying so hard not to cry. I asked her if she was missing Nanna and Grandad, and she sobbed her little heart out for ages.
She is as they always looked after her while I worked in the school holidays and when she wanted to go to the park, they always took her, but yesterday I said we couldn't go there, and that was what triggered her tears.
She has worked out that if she doesn't visit her Nanna she will never see her again, but she is not sure that she wants to visit her as Nanna is not cuddly any more and on the last couple of visits totally ignored my daughter. At six years old that must be almost impossible to understand, it is hard enough as an adult.
Strangely, she is ok about her Grandad,as she says he is always in her heart, and she dreams about him a lot,which is so sweet and yet the Nanna she knows is still alive but not the same person she knew, so she feels she is "nowhere".
Has anyone else had this situation arise and what do you feel is the best way to handle it.
Kathleen
I have a six year old. My mum is in a home and has alzheimers and my dad died last September.
I thought my daughter was coping well, we have always been open with her about everything that is happening and she was visiting mum with me and getting on well with her,always cuddling her and making each other laugh.
Five weeks ago we went to visit mum and I could see a difference in my daughter. When we got into the car she said "Nanna feels different" and I told her it was all because of Nanna's illness but she didn't have to visit her with me if she didn't want to and she seemed relieved.
Since then she has been really grumpy with me and last night she was obviously trying so hard not to cry. I asked her if she was missing Nanna and Grandad, and she sobbed her little heart out for ages.
She is as they always looked after her while I worked in the school holidays and when she wanted to go to the park, they always took her, but yesterday I said we couldn't go there, and that was what triggered her tears.
She has worked out that if she doesn't visit her Nanna she will never see her again, but she is not sure that she wants to visit her as Nanna is not cuddly any more and on the last couple of visits totally ignored my daughter. At six years old that must be almost impossible to understand, it is hard enough as an adult.
Strangely, she is ok about her Grandad,as she says he is always in her heart, and she dreams about him a lot,which is so sweet and yet the Nanna she knows is still alive but not the same person she knew, so she feels she is "nowhere".
Has anyone else had this situation arise and what do you feel is the best way to handle it.
Kathleen