Hello everyone - my partner has on the last couple of days been too late to the toilet and I keep having wet trousers to change, yesterday it was twice, today was the worst so far when he was out with the carer and obviously they didn't find a toilet in time so trousers soaked. But what I'm wondering is whether this will now be a regular occurrence and the start of incontinence or does he just need reminding more often - although after reminding him he'll often say he doesn't need to go. We have had this issue on a few previous occasions but not on consecutive days. I don't know whether to start getting him incontinence pants?
Is it incontinence or just forgetfullness?
- Thread starter White Rose
- Start date
In my experience once it starts it’s best to get pull-ups - just in case. My dad quickly went from the odd accident to regular floods. If you can insist on regular toileting it might help but my dad hated me “treating him like a child”
But he just didn’t get the message until it was too late and he couldn’t move fast enough to get to the loo!
Aldi do incontinence pants at less than £4 for a pack of 8 or 9.
But he just didn’t get the message until it was too late and he couldn’t move fast enough to get to the loo!
Aldi do incontinence pants at less than £4 for a pack of 8 or 9.
My husband wears pull up pants, as his incontinence has come on really quickly. The urge to go to the toilet seems to come on, then go again. I have great difficulty trying to persuade him to go to toilet "just in case", after he's been sitting in his chair for over 3 hours. He also tells me that he has already been, when I know he hasn't! We've got the incontinence nurse coming round tomorrow, so perhaps she'll explain things more!
Thank you for the advice - I'd better get off to Aldi, just hope he can be persuaded to wear them. Oh dear was hoping we wouldn't be going down this road yet....
We went to the drs & they checked that there wasn't an infection & then checked prostate too. Both were ok, so we then got the referral to the incontinence team. It hasn't taken very long for this to be arranged. We will see what the nurse advises tomorrow!
Thanks yes I'll do that. Meanwhile I've found washable incontinence pants from Allanda, better for the environment!
Thank you, only thing is how to explain it to him, he won't understand and doesn't realise he might have a problem....will give it a try though.
Hi @White Rose
I got the washable pants for dad which coped with small leaks but he soon moved on to needing pull-ups. It is very difficult to get someone who thinks they don’t have a problem to wear incontinence pants although my dad accepted the washable ones as they looked like normal y-fronts.
Once he got to the pull-ups stage he didn’t want to know so that was a real battle. I told him they were special pants the doctor said he had to wear to stop his bum getting sore as he spent so much time sitting on it! He sort of accepted this then complained that he’d been sent women’s pants so I stamped “men” on the front in blue letters...then he complained they made his bum look big!
He did eventually wear them but only after I’d got carers in to help him dress, understandably he didn’t want help from his daughter!
As for getting him to the incontinence clinic - I just told him it was a check up. I didn’t try to explain as he would’ve said he was fine (he told the the continence nurse “I might be a bit wet behind the ears - but certainly not in the pants!” ). I’d already whispered to her that he didn’t realise he was wetting himself.
It’s very difficult to deal with. I hope your partner is more co-operative.
I got the washable pants for dad which coped with small leaks but he soon moved on to needing pull-ups. It is very difficult to get someone who thinks they don’t have a problem to wear incontinence pants although my dad accepted the washable ones as they looked like normal y-fronts.
Once he got to the pull-ups stage he didn’t want to know so that was a real battle. I told him they were special pants the doctor said he had to wear to stop his bum getting sore as he spent so much time sitting on it! He sort of accepted this then complained that he’d been sent women’s pants so I stamped “men” on the front in blue letters...then he complained they made his bum look big!
He did eventually wear them but only after I’d got carers in to help him dress, understandably he didn’t want help from his daughter!
As for getting him to the incontinence clinic - I just told him it was a check up. I didn’t try to explain as he would’ve said he was fine (he told the the continence nurse “I might be a bit wet behind the ears - but certainly not in the pants!” ). I’d already whispered to her that he didn’t realise he was wetting himself.
It’s very difficult to deal with. I hope your partner is more co-operative.
This was how it was with my husband, just happened a couple of times. But I bought some incontinence pants just to be on the safe side. He hasn't had any soakings since, just damp. But our incontinence nurse arranged for him to have some so he continues to wear them "just in case". So you may find that it isn't going to be all the time.
What a great idea. The problem with my husband is that he can spend ages looking for the label (when there isn't one) to work out which way round they go. I think I'll do some stamping.
Thank you @Bunpoots, useful advice. No accidents so far today - but I did keep asking him if he needed the toilet!
No accidents so far today but I'm going to get him to wear the incontinence pants on the days when I'm not with him - the carers don't know him as well as I do so I don't suppose they see the signs of when he needs to go or are aware of the times he would usually go.
My husband doesn't always get the message to go to the loo, but he does know that he has "accidents", so is happy to wear the pants. Incontinence nurse very good... look like we qualify for NHS ones, which at the moment are disposable. Not quite the same as the pull ups, but worth giving them a try! (I've put our name down for washable ones, when they become available). Apparently, sometimes the bladder doesn't empty completely & this can lead to "leakages" & being unaware of them.
Thanks @Scrimjay, I think part of the problem is that when asked if he needs the toilet he'll say no - but then a short time later needs to go urgently! I am very insistent when I think it's time he had a try - no accidents in the past 3 days, fingers crossed!
I did timed toileting with John so before lunch “Might as well go and then wash your hands for lunch”, when we came in from a walk “Might as well go and save you getting up later” and so on. Most times he went when I suggested. I also encouraged him to sit down for safety but really so he would perform and avoid other accidents. Again this encouraged bowel movements.
Thank you, I will try it but it's hard to get him to understand anything these days. Fortunately he's always sat rather than stood, for as long as I've known him anyway. Unfortunately another accident today, peed all over the downstairs toilet floor, wouldn't accept that it was him of course! It was a proper flood and I will be making an appointment with the GP this week.
The NHS Incontinence clinics tend to prescribe Pads rather than Pants - not sure if that will be more or less acceptable to your partner. The Aldi ones are the cheapest I've found, and seem to me to be just as good as Tena.
I put him in the washable pull ups but he didn't like them one bit! I suppose it's a strange feeling when you're not used to pads, I tried telling him it was for comfort but made no difference. Finally made a GP appointment for him but first available was 3 March - ridiculous!
They are rather strange and a bit scratchy. It took quite a while for my wife to accept them, but she does now. At first I gave up, and just always carried spare clothes and wipes etc in a backpack, so that I could sort things out if a problem happened. Wishing you all the best to get some sort of resolution.
