Viewing care home for dad

Mikesdaughter1971

New member
Jan 29, 2020
3
0
Hi my father has alzheimers and my mum is his primary carer although her physical health is not very good. She has, very bravely, suggested visiting a local care home with a view to putting dads name on the waiting list "for the future or respite". My question is... can you recommend any good questions to ask or things to look out for when we go for our visit.. we have never dealt with anything of this kind so I would like to be prepared so that we dont blank when we go there. Thanks in advance x
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
944
0
I would view the CQC report to see what they had to say first - just Google the name and CQC report. My nan was in respite in a home I thought was terrible when I visited, smelled like school dinners and old urine and the residents appeared to all be sleeping in chairs in communals areas, no staff to be seen, no obvious entertainment or community atmosphere. I think you'll know if it's horrible. I searched for the report and it was down on several areas, compared to my dad's home which is good in all areas.

When you go in it feels like a large family home, staff always seem to be about, everyone knows all the residents, residents usually seem more active, somehow. Jigsaws, papers out for people to do, and so on. Evidence of activity. Not that my dad takes part in any entertainments!

Oh and it doesn't smell! That's really important to the owners. The have a map of all the residents on the wall, when they were born and so on, it's really nice.

The other thing to do is just book respite and see what you think when you visit. Dad ended up in respite there quite by chance and we were extremely lucky in that it was the right place.

Oh and don't get hung up on having an 'outstanding' home. Dad's home really is good and it's not got any outstanding stars.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
Hi @Mikesdaughter1971, welcome to the forum. I expect this is quite a step for your Mum and she will naturally feel quite nervous, but at the same time drained from looking after your Dad. Without knowing Dad's needs and condition (e.g. is he a wanderer?) it is difficult to advise on the type of care home required, but any good home should look to do an assessment of need. If your Dad has quite high needs some care homes, even with dementia dedicated facilities may not be able to meet those needs.

Do look at the CQC reports, but often these are quite out of date and are a snapshot in time, and the care home can change quite quickly with turnover in staff (particularly management) - which can sometimes be a positive (if a negative report) or negative (if a positive report). What I am saying is don't automatically rule out a home due to an adverse CQC report, as a lot depends on the reasons and what they have done to remedy the situation.

When you visit all areas of the home should be accessible, I found one provider wanted to speak to me away from the main areas which rang alarm bells for me. It is quite important to see how staff are interacting with residents (e.g. if there are lots of room assistance buzzers going and seemingly little action that might not be the best sign). One thing that helped me (to show to Mum later before she visited herself ) was to take pictures and video on my phone - you need permission to do that but it can help if you need to show you Dad or even to jog your own memories.

Again it depends on what Dad's needs are, but there should be a weekly schedule of activities for residents, I would expect them to explain that to you, along with the basic amenities like food menus, hairdressing, how they deal with medical appointments, medication etc.

Other things like the room facilities you will be able to evaluate, visiting a few will give you a better idea. The main advice I would give is trust your own instincts. Any other questions just ask. Keep posting.
 

Mikesdaughter1971

New member
Jan 29, 2020
3
0
Thanks for the responses guys ... the care home is very well thought of locally and has been personally recommended and has a waiting list as well ... mums not quite ready to make the step of sending him for respite yet but she is at least considering it now ... which, as shes been a bit of an ostrich since dads diagnosis, is a major step.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
Hi @Mikesdaughter1971, it is a really sensible approach to get on the waiting list. It's good that Mum has you there to support her through this, it must be extremely difficult for her.
 

Mikesdaughter1971

New member
Jan 29, 2020
3
0
Hi @Mikesdaughter1971, it is a really sensible approach to get on the waiting list. It's good that Mum has you there to support her through this, it must be extremely difficult for her.
It is difficult as dad was always the one that looked after mum, the house, the finances etc. Just wish we all lived closer but my sisters and I are 100 miles away ... although we all take turns spending time with them I just feel like I should be doing more x
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
It is difficult as dad was always the one that looked after mum, the house, the finances etc. Just wish we all lived closer but my sisters and I are 100 miles away ... although we all take turns spending time with them I just feel like I should be doing more

Hi @Mikesdaughter1971, the distance would certainly make it difficult to see Mum, but I'm sure you are speaking to her on the phone or skype which will make a big difference to her (even though she might not say so). I assume Mum has Power of Attorney for Dad? I don't know if you have the same in place for Mum? When my Dad had dementia Mum also insisted that we (through a Solicitor) put Power of Attorney in place for her, as she realised the difficulties without it (it certainly helped years later when she needed support). It is a big step and Mum has got a lot on her plate - but it could help if she needed you or your siblings to help her with financial matters if that is causing her stress. In any event you can always do the ringing round and sorting of arrangements for Mum. If Dad does go to respite perhaps Mum could stay at yours or your siblings for a while? All the best, stay strong.
 

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