Hi Everyone,
I am just so very tired all the time because I just cannot get to sleep hence my timing of this post my mind whirling around not only at night but pretty much all day too. Have been seeing dads dementia on almost a daily basis for just over three years but suspect he had signs way before his diagnosis.
My visit to dad on Wednesday afternoon went well no problems he was in a decent mood and I enjoyed my visit. Yesterday (Thursday) what a difference. I had arrived a couple of hours before his next carer was due thinking I would leave just before or on their arrival. This would be his third carer visit of the day his final one after that is to put him to bed at 9pm.
I asked dad if he would like a tea and cake he replied yes please so I popped kettle on and said I would just go upstairs to check his wash basket as it didn't look like there had been any further washing put in the machine from the previous day. Dad can get narky if I go upstairs and sometimes questions what I am doing. I put dads machine on and made his tea he wandered into the kitchen to have his cuppa as for whatever reason he stopped having a tea in his lounge quite a while back.
Well this is when everything with his mood changed he told me I had now put him getting his breakfast which sister cooks in jeopardy or words to that effect as he is absolutely obsessed about his cooked breakfast.
Dad constantly equates what is in his catheter bag with what he eats/drinks and sums up in his head if its sufficient in his eyes and will " earn him his breakfast" to be honest it drives me mad and its upsetting to see that he thinks whatever is or isn't in it equates to his receiving his breakfast. Dad kept looking at his bag I said did he want his tea or not it was his choice he hesitates thinking his bag would become too full I assured him it wouldn't and lady/carer would check again at 6pm. In the end dad agreed to let me empty his bag as he wouldn't have his tea otherwise and clearly he was wanting it. I told dad by the time the carer came at 6pm she would see it had got something in it as his tea would definitely have gone through him and into his bag trying to assure him he would always get a breakfast.anyway.
Carer actually arrived early said she was down to see him for 4.30pm whereas schedule I had from Care Company indicated a 6pm call. Dad reluctantly left his TV in lounge where he had settled back to and agreed to let her check his pad which she had to change as most likely his tea had now got him going.
I could hear dad shouting a bit at her but I had warned her when she arrived (out of dads earshot) that his mood wasn't great.
Dad returned to his lounge picking up his phone from the hallway and called my sister and said quite loudly "Your sister is here and creating chaos" she obviously asked him what he meant " She bought milk and a TV Book" he said, carer just looked at me and could see the frustration in my face. Next thing dad is standing in his kitchen and I was washing a couple of bits up he loudly declares in front of carer staring at me and says
" If I die tonight its your fault ". Carer left and once dads washing had finished so did I as I couldn't face his mood.
So my crimes yesterday were I made him a tea and cake thinking carer not due for two hours, took him milk and his next TV guide book and did his washing..
I say crimes because according to my sister they will be seen as such she just loves to pick on me, tells me not to visit when carer there despite fact she is there on their morning visits, tells me not to make him a tea or cake as I'm interfering with carers role and regarding his washing well she likes to complain that I don't do enough to help out but then usually makes sure I can't by beating me to it when I go around five afternoons a week and can put a wash on no problem and it will save her at least one other job.
Any advice on how to stop my head/brain from whirling around its like I cannot switch off I can be awake almost all night and barely ever catch up so I'm just so mentally exhausted. I just want to be able to stop thinking about dad and his dementia and situation with sister.
I am just so very tired all the time because I just cannot get to sleep hence my timing of this post my mind whirling around not only at night but pretty much all day too. Have been seeing dads dementia on almost a daily basis for just over three years but suspect he had signs way before his diagnosis.
My visit to dad on Wednesday afternoon went well no problems he was in a decent mood and I enjoyed my visit. Yesterday (Thursday) what a difference. I had arrived a couple of hours before his next carer was due thinking I would leave just before or on their arrival. This would be his third carer visit of the day his final one after that is to put him to bed at 9pm.
I asked dad if he would like a tea and cake he replied yes please so I popped kettle on and said I would just go upstairs to check his wash basket as it didn't look like there had been any further washing put in the machine from the previous day. Dad can get narky if I go upstairs and sometimes questions what I am doing. I put dads machine on and made his tea he wandered into the kitchen to have his cuppa as for whatever reason he stopped having a tea in his lounge quite a while back.
Well this is when everything with his mood changed he told me I had now put him getting his breakfast which sister cooks in jeopardy or words to that effect as he is absolutely obsessed about his cooked breakfast.
Dad constantly equates what is in his catheter bag with what he eats/drinks and sums up in his head if its sufficient in his eyes and will " earn him his breakfast" to be honest it drives me mad and its upsetting to see that he thinks whatever is or isn't in it equates to his receiving his breakfast. Dad kept looking at his bag I said did he want his tea or not it was his choice he hesitates thinking his bag would become too full I assured him it wouldn't and lady/carer would check again at 6pm. In the end dad agreed to let me empty his bag as he wouldn't have his tea otherwise and clearly he was wanting it. I told dad by the time the carer came at 6pm she would see it had got something in it as his tea would definitely have gone through him and into his bag trying to assure him he would always get a breakfast.anyway.
Carer actually arrived early said she was down to see him for 4.30pm whereas schedule I had from Care Company indicated a 6pm call. Dad reluctantly left his TV in lounge where he had settled back to and agreed to let her check his pad which she had to change as most likely his tea had now got him going.
I could hear dad shouting a bit at her but I had warned her when she arrived (out of dads earshot) that his mood wasn't great.
Dad returned to his lounge picking up his phone from the hallway and called my sister and said quite loudly "Your sister is here and creating chaos" she obviously asked him what he meant " She bought milk and a TV Book" he said, carer just looked at me and could see the frustration in my face. Next thing dad is standing in his kitchen and I was washing a couple of bits up he loudly declares in front of carer staring at me and says
" If I die tonight its your fault ". Carer left and once dads washing had finished so did I as I couldn't face his mood.
So my crimes yesterday were I made him a tea and cake thinking carer not due for two hours, took him milk and his next TV guide book and did his washing..
I say crimes because according to my sister they will be seen as such she just loves to pick on me, tells me not to visit when carer there despite fact she is there on their morning visits, tells me not to make him a tea or cake as I'm interfering with carers role and regarding his washing well she likes to complain that I don't do enough to help out but then usually makes sure I can't by beating me to it when I go around five afternoons a week and can put a wash on no problem and it will save her at least one other job.
Any advice on how to stop my head/brain from whirling around its like I cannot switch off I can be awake almost all night and barely ever catch up so I'm just so mentally exhausted. I just want to be able to stop thinking about dad and his dementia and situation with sister.