Wits End has been reached....

[Helped]

I have just had a dreadful weekend with Jim. It's as if he has suddenly lost a few more brain cells and his mobility has got worse overnight (I managed to get him some physic before Christmas and she gave him some exercises to do) he is so hesitant in walking now, he has to drag his feet and hold on to anything thats around to keep upright. I noticed before Christmas that his speech is suffering and he often says the 'wrong' word - if he actually bothers to talk at all. He doesn't look 'right' any longer and sometimes when I try to talk to him he looks 'vacant' and I am not sure I am getting through. He just sits in the chair and sleeps a lot, he has no interest in anything anymore.

The biggest problem is that he is in total denial that there is anything wrong with him at all. I have just tried to tell him that I am really worried about his condition and that I am going to try to contact a doctor tomorrow and he really wasn't happy - he got very angry - it was the most animated I had seen him for a long time! Luckily I am used to his anger and whatever he says I am going to contact a doctor tomorrow - beyond that I don't know what else I can do or who else I can talk to. I am worried that he may have had some sort of TIA incident because the deterioration has been so quick. I really need to try and get some help with him now because its got to the stage where he needs constant watching.

 

[canary]

Cintacting the GP is a good idea. Jim might have had something like a small stoke, but it might be something else. My OH suddenly lost mobility and he was found to have a bad UTI.
Dont discuss getting in the doctor - just do it.

 

[LadyA]

He may have an infection of some kind. UTI or respiratory. Often the only signs of infection my husband would show, were changes in his cognitive abilities or behaviour.

My husband had a paranoid fear of doctors for much of his dementia journey. But thankfully, he had a wonderful gp, who really understood people with dementia. To get my husband seen, I used to write a report to the doc first, and hand it in the day before the appointment so he'd know what he was looking for/at. Then the appointment was "for me", and I'd just ask my husband if he would come with me. He actually liked the gp. Just not being "doctored". So, the doc would make a big deal of looking in my ears, throat and listening to my chest, all the while chatting to my husband, and gleaning all the info he needed! Then he'd say in a jolly voice "Sure, seeing as you are here, we may as well check you out too! Two for the price of one, eh?!" and my husband would delightedly submit to being examined. Because it wasn't him that came to see the doctor! It was me! This worked very well, several times! But I know I was absolutely blessed with that gp!

 

[Helped]

Cintacting the GP is a good idea. Jim might have had something like a small stoke, but it might be something else. My OH suddenly lost mobility and he was found to have a bad UTI.
Dont discuss getting in the doctor - just do it.

Thank you Canary, It is so good to talk to others, I feel so low at the moment!. I will look into the UTI, it is possible because I am always nagging him for not drinking enough fluids. He has an incontinence problem , caused mainly, I think because he can't move quick enough when he needs to go. I think he feels embarrassed about this so deliberately restricts his fluids in the evening.

 

[Helped]

He may have an infection of some kind. UTI or respiratory. Often the only signs of infection my husband would show, were changes in his cognitive abilities or behaviour.

My husband had a paranoid fear of doctors for much of his dementia journey. But thankfully, he had a wonderful gp, who really understood people with dementia. To get my husband seen, I used to write a report to the doc first, and hand it in the day before the appointment so he'd know what he was looking for/at. Then the appointment was "for me", and I'd just ask my husband if he would come with me. He actually liked the gp. Just not being "doctored". So, the doc would make a big deal of looking in my ears, throat and listening to my chest, all the while chatting to my husband, and gleaning all the info he needed! Then he'd say in a jolly voice "Sure, seeing as you are here, we may as well check you out too! Two for the price of one, eh?!" and my husband would delightedly submit to being examined. Because it wasn't him that came to see the doctor! It was me! This worked very well, several times! But I know I was absolutely blessed with that gp!

What a brilliant solution, you must have a very good GP!

 

[jenniferjean]

Thank you Canary, It is so good to talk to others, I feel so low at the moment!. I will look into the UTI, it is possible because I am always nagging him for not drinking enough fluids. He has an incontinence problem , caused mainly, I think because he can't move quick enough when he needs to go. I think he feels embarrassed about this so deliberately restricts his fluids in the evening.

We had a visit from the incontinence nurse last week. She assured me my husband is not drinking enough fluids and that that can effect his incontinence. But I'm often giving him drinks, but making him drink them is another matter. I've seen him take a sip and then say 'that's enough' and go and tip it down the sink.

 

[marionq]

We had a visit from the incontinence nurse last week. She assured me my husband is not drinking enough fluids and that that can effect his incontinence. But I'm often giving him drinks, but making him drink them is another matter. I've seen him take a sip and then say 'that's enough' and go and tip it down the sink.

I couldnt get my husband to drink water and apart from tea he didn’t drink anything else. I then tried putting a splash of orange barley water in a tall glass of tap water at his side and noticed that was consumed much more quickly.

 

[LadyA]

What a brilliant solution, you must have a very good GP!

We did. He had experience of alzheimer's disease in his own immediate family, and it showed in his care of my husband.

 

[Helped]

Bizarrely on Tuesday Jim got up and was more or less normal - or maybe I should say 'normal' for him. He had no recollection of being so confused and being unable to string a coherent sentence together the previous day and other than sleeping in the afternoon, had a relatively good day., eating and drinking a reasonable amount However, today he was more moody, looked a bit 'vacant' again and has been sleeping on and off most of the day. I took him out for a lunchtime drink and he nearly fell sleep in the pub!. Anyway, I used my free time when he was sleeping to write a lengthy letter to his surgery detailing his deterioration and problems and I will drop it into the surgery tomorrow morning. Hopefully I will hear from them soon. There is no point in my making an appointment without sending the letter because Jim will only be uncooperative and refuse to talk.

 

[PalSal]

He may have an infection of some kind. UTI or respiratory. Often the only signs of infection my husband would show, were changes in his cognitive abilities or behaviour.

My husband had a paranoid fear of doctors for much of his dementia journey. But thankfully, he had a wonderful gp, who really understood people with dementia. To get my husband seen, I used to write a report to the doc first, and hand it in the day before the appointment so he'd know what he was looking for/at. Then the appointment was "for me", and I'd just ask my husband if he would come with me. He actually liked the gp. Just not being "doctored". So, the doc would make a big deal of looking in my ears, throat and listening to my chest, all the while chatting to my husband, and gleaning all the info he needed! Then he'd say in a jolly voice "Sure, seeing as you are here, we may as well check you out too! Two for the price of one, eh?!" and my husband would delightedly submit to being examined. Because it wasn't him that came to see the doctor! It was me! This worked very well, several times! But I know I was absolutely blessed with that gp!

What a wonderful GP!!! That would be great technique to share with others. Cool doc.

 

[Hil76]

@Helped i hope you’ve had some luck with your GP, UTIs with dementia can cause massive deterioration in the sufferer, he may have suffered a TIA but as the name suggests these are transient and any confusion beyond the usual is short lived, for example if one is suffered during the night, they will wake up more confused than usual but as the day progresses that confusion will dissipate, TIAs when they are suffered consistently over a period of time is when they will cause lasting damage, TIAs are generally suffered by people with vascular dementia or a dual diagnosis of AD and VD which is very common, if your partner has had a stroke he may likely have VD or if he suffers from AF, this is purely based on the knowledge I have gained through going through similar with my mum and I am in no way attempting to diagnose. I hope you have a helpful GP who can shed light on this. I have also found it can be incredibly difficult to get them to drink enough, it doesn’t have to be just water, tea, diluting juice, fresh orange etc are just as helpful, diuretics like coffee are not as helpful for obvious reasons, pushing fluids not only helps avoid UTIs but helps avoid constipation. Best of luck anyway xx

 

[SofaSoGood]

Thank you Canary, It is so good to talk to others, I feel so low at the moment!. I will look into the UTI, it is possible because I am always nagging him for not drinking enough fluids. He has an incontinence problem , caused mainly, I think because he can't move quick enough when he needs to go. I think he feels embarrassed about this so deliberately restricts his fluids in the evening.

 

[SofaSoGood]

Apparently a UTI can have a huge effect in terms of confusion etc (why? I don’t understand it) so antibiotics are well worth trying. We had a few days recently with my Dad of INSANITY, refusing to go to bed for crazy pay reasons etc, but it probably was down to a UTI. I cannot get Dad to drink enough liquid either, but I try to get the professionals to help because he’s very obedient with them. A BIG glass of water with his tablets etc helps

 

[LadyA]

, looked a bit 'vacant' again

My husband never had a UTI, but he got very regular respiratory infections. And usually, the only symptom he would show that he was, actually, "brewing" an infection was a certain look about him. A sort of vacant, but intense stare. It's very hard to describe, but it was a very frightening look. Anything was possible, with that look, because it was like his mind was totally disconnected from his body. I had tried to describe it to the staff at the nursing home, so they would know he needed antibiotics, even if he wasn't coughing or wheezing, but they weren't getting it. Until the first time it happened there. Then one of the staff said "Oh, my goodness! Now we know exactly what you mean by "that look"!" His gp understood the look too, and all I had to do was phone and say that my husband had "that look" again, and he'd give him antibiotics.

It can be hard though, to get medics to understand nebulous things like this, and that they need to be taken seriously, to prevent an infection escalating or that something needs investigating.

 

[Helped]

@Helped i hope you’ve had some luck with your GP, UTIs with dementia can cause massive deterioration in the sufferer, he may have suffered a TIA but as the name suggests these are transient and any confusion beyond the usual is short lived, for example if one is suffered during the night, they will wake up more confused than usual but as the day progresses that confusion will dissipate, TIAs when they are suffered consistently over a period of time is when they will cause lasting damage, TIAs are generally suffered by people with vascular dementia or a dual diagnosis of AD and VD which is very common, if your partner has had a stroke he may likely have VD or if he suffers from AF, this is purely based on the knowledge I have gained through going through similar with my mum and I am in no way attempting to diagnose. I hope you have a helpful GP who can shed light on this. I have also found it can be incredibly difficult to get them to drink enough, it doesn’t have to be just water, tea, diluting juice, fresh orange etc are just as helpful, diuretics like coffee are not as helpful for obvious reasons, pushing fluids not only helps avoid UTIs but helps avoid constipation. Best of luck anyway xx

I have heard back from his GP following my letter , and he has called Jim in for a 'general check up' in 4 weeks time. He felt that by not linking it to my letter Jim might be more cooperative, so far it is working because when I told Jim about it he didn't kick up the fuss he normally does. Jim was scanned for vascular dementia a couple of years ago and that was ruled out at that time. The GP is going to investigate Jim for Parkinsons and general dementia during his 'check up' although Jim doesn't realise that yet! Hopefully we will get to the bottom of this.

 

[Helped]

I have just had a dreadful weekend with Jim. It's as if he has suddenly lost a few more brain cells and his mobility has got worse overnight (I managed to get him some physic before Christmas and she gave him some exercises to do) he is so hesitant in walking now, he has to drag his feet and hold on to anything thats around to keep upright. I noticed before Christmas that his speech is suffering and he often says the 'wrong' word - if he actually bothers to talk at all. He doesn't look 'right' any longer and sometimes when I try to talk to him he looks 'vacant' and I am not sure I am getting through. He just sits in the chair and sleeps a lot, he has no interest in anything anymore.

The biggest problem is that he is in total denial that there is anything wrong with him at all. I have just tried to tell him that I am really worried about his condition and that I am going to try to contact a doctor tomorrow and he really wasn't happy - he got very angry - it was the most animated I had seen him for a long time! Luckily I am used to his anger and whatever he says I am going to contact a doctor tomorrow - beyond that I don't know what else I can do or who else I can talk to. I am worried that he may have had some sort of TIA incident because the deterioration has been so quick. I really need to try and get some help with him now because its got to the stage where he needs constant watching.

 

[Helped]

Just to keep all you wonderful members that have offered me so much support in the loop I can tell you that I have had a message back from Jim's GP following my letter. He acknowledges the problems I am having with Jim's condition and Jim's general stroppiness when at the doctors. The GP has arranged to see him in 4 weeks time for a long appointment under the guise of an annual 'general check up' and he is going to look into Parkinsons and dementia. Hopefully something will come out of this. Yesterday he had an incontinence problem and was a bit down. Today, Jim hasn't been to bad, but his walking is desperately slow/doddery and he tires very easily. He is a lot sharper mentally at the moment and it talking about holidays!!

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Just to keep all you wonderful members that have offered me so much support in the loop I can tell you that I have had a message back from Jim's GP following my letter. He acknowledges the problems I am having with Jim's condition and Jim's general stroppiness when at the doctors. The GP has arranged to see him in 4 weeks time for a long appointment under the guise of an annual 'general check up' and he is going to look into Parkinsons and dementia. Hopefully something will come out of this. Yesterday he had an incontinence problem and was a bit down. Today, Jim hasn't been to bad, but his walking is desperately slow/doddery and he tires very easily. He is a lot sharper mentally at the moment and it talking about holidays!!

Aged Mother talks about holidays frequently, pie in the sky! I dream about holidays...