Sectioning!

Abbey82

Registered User
Jun 12, 2018
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Hi they phoned about 2 hours ago to say mental health team were sending someone to assess mum. They said they will then make decision on where to send her, hospital, secure unit or respite! I will be devastated if they send her to respite.

At least there's an update then. Hopefully its sectioning, please don't be devastated if its respite, honestly thats not a bad outcome as a few have outlined above. If i'm honest, a secure care home setting is better (nicer) than a secure dementia unit but at least they will likely have a DOLS so she can't leave and then they can review her medication so that she can possibly come home after, or a further decision can then be made x
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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They'll be swapping one very tired and stressed babysitter (you) with a team of babysitters who work shifts rather than 24/7. You can arrange to have your Mum's medication reviewed whilst in the care home. Mum went into a home for a 6 week stay on discharge from hospital specifically so that her medication could be reviewed by the mental health team.

(I've replied on your other thread about not needing a POA to make a complaint)
Did they charge you for the respite?
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
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No, the 6 weeks were free. It wasn't called respite as such but a 'temporary placement' and was arranged via the hospital social work team.
 

Louise7

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Mar 25, 2016
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Not until the 6 weeks had ended. Mum then became a permanent resident and had to complete a financial assessment then.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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Not until the 6 weeks had ended. Mum then became a permanent resident and had to complete a financial assessment then.
That’s ok I suddenly thought they are going to stick her in respite and make her pay!
 

canary

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Feb 25, 2014
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South coast
No, the 6 weeks were free. It wasn't called respite as such but a 'temporary placement' and was arranged via the hospital social work team.
My mum was the same . It was called "reablement", but basically it was 6 weeks in a care home (free) and at the end of the 6 weeks there was a Best Interest Meeting to decide where mum went from there. It was unanimously decided that she should become a permanent resident in the same care home and (being self-funded) she had a financial assessment and started paying after the 6 weeks
 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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hi @Rosserk sounds like things have got moving -as always always at a slow pace. Try not to worry too much about respite, you won't have to pay for that and it can be a better way of sorting out any new medication and assessing things, though I suspect it will be an EMI unit and not residential given how things have been.

As for the PALS episode, I would write a letter to the chief exec (with a name preferably), either way that was abrupt and certainly not balancing everyones interests in this -but I guess it depends on whether you have the energy to write at the moment.

Fingers crossed it works out
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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My mum was the same . It was called "reablement", but basically it was 6 weeks in a care home (free) and at the end of the 6 weeks there was a Best Interest Meeting to decide where mum went from there. It was unanimously decided that she should become a permanent resident in the same care home and (being self-funded) she had a financial assessment and started paying after the 6 weeks

Thank you! I am hoping once mum is on the right medication she will come home. I am really struggling not to go and get her! My daughter is dropping some clothes off for her. She’s been put on a ward for the night. If I went I would definitely cave and bring her home I can’t bare to see her distressed! I know that’s the worse thing to do because we will be back at this point in a couple of days.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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hi @Rosserk sounds like things have got moving -as always always at a slow pace. Try not to worry too much about respite, you won't have to pay for that and it can be a better way of sorting out any new medication and assessing things, though I suspect it will be an EMI unit and not residential given how things have been.

As for the PALS episode, I would write a letter to the chief exec (with a name preferably), either way that was abrupt and certainly not balancing everyones interests in this -but I guess it depends on whether you have the energy to write at the moment.

Fingers crossed it works out
@Palerider thank you. It’s so hard but I know it will be the best thing if she gets a new medication regime that works. I can hopefully get some care arrangements in place. I either need a day centre or a companion that can take her out and about in the day. I think she’s bored but every time I take her out she’s a nightmare in the evenings, I’m hoping new meds will help with that as well. X
 

Locket Love

Registered User
Sep 17, 2019
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Hi @Rosserk I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. My Mum was sectioned as she became violent and agressive. The care home felt she needed more help than they could provide so she got put in a dementia psychiatric hospital. It wasn't the nicest place but she had access to experienced mental health nurses and a psychiatrist. My sister ended up staying in A&E with her which isn't the place for dementia patients. They had to wait for the mental health team to assess her. It was a painful process. I hope your Mum is able to find calm and be treated in her best interests. It's such a hard time for anyone in this situation. I had to try and remember it wasn't my Mum, it was the dementia. Thinking of you x
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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Hi @Rosserk I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. My Mum was sectioned as she became violent and agressive. The care home felt she needed more help than they could provide so she got put in a dementia psychiatric hospital. It wasn't the nicest place but she had access to experienced mental health nurses and a psychiatrist. My sister ended up staying in A&E with her which isn't the place for dementia patients. They had to wait for the mental health team to assess her. It was a painful process. I hope your Mum is able to find calm and be treated in her best interests. It's such a hard time for anyone in this situation. I had to try and remember it wasn't my Mum, it was the dementia. Thinking of you x
Thank you it’s stressful beyond belief!
 

anxious annie

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Jan 2, 2019
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Hi Rosserk
I hope things have improved for your mum and she has been moved to somewhere more suitable where her needs can be met and she can be assessed. I can understand why you want to remove her from such a stressful situation, but, as you quite rightly say you would soon be back at A&E , with the same problems. Stay strong and resist the urge as this will be best for your mum in the long run x
 

millalm

Registered User
Oct 9, 2019
262
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@Rosserk I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Having been down a similar road when my Mum had her first dementia related delusion (we didn't realize she had dementia at the time) they called it a psychotic break, but your Mum's fear and confusion as you are describing it is so similar to my Mums. You mentioned finding a knife under her pillow, but no one has really picked up on that, so I will tell you that you really need to be focusing on safety , both hers and yours, as you consider bringing her home. I am sorry but it sounds like your Mum needs to be somewhere that they will address the mental issues she is having before something serious happens. I know firsthand about having to place both my Father, then my Mother in care, only after years of struggling to keep them at home, so I don't give this advice lightly. Please let them keep her, wherever the system provides the resources to get to the bottom of her issues, and give yourself some time to step back and consider what you have told us about your situation. Much strength to you.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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@Rosserk I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Having been down a similar road when my Mum had her first dementia related delusion (we didn't realize she had dementia at the time) they called it a psychotic break, but your Mum's fear and confusion as you are describing it is so similar to my Mums. You mentioned finding a knife under her pillow, but no one has really picked up on that, so I will tell you that you really need to be focusing on safety , both hers and yours, as you consider bringing her home. I am sorry but it sounds like your Mum needs to be somewhere that they will address the mental issues she is having before something serious happens. I know firsthand about having to place both my Father, then my Mother in care, only after years of struggling to keep them at home, so I don't give this advice lightly. Please let them keep her, wherever the system provides the resources to get to the bottom of her issues, and give yourself some time to step back and consider what you have told us about your situation. Much strength to you.


Hi thanks for the response. I don’t think my mum would ever hurt anyone I think the knife was for her protection because she’s so scared. The mental health team aren’t reviewing her medication they’ve made the decision that she’s on the right medication but hasn’t always been taking it! She does hide tablets in the side of her mouth. I don’t think they can make that call based solely on that fact but that’s the mental health team. The hospital are now saying they need to look at care homes because they say we can’t manage her needs but that’s not what I want but they are riding ruff shot over me! I really wanted them to review her medication to see if it helped with her extreme anxiety and paranoia so she could come home. The last place I want for her is a care home! I’ve now got a fight on my hands to get her back home now so my crisis which I thought was going to be for my mums good had actually been the worst decision! I thought she’d spend a few days in hospital with a change of meds a period to assess the meds and then back home. So even if my mum goes to a care home her anxiety is going to be the same as it was when she was here the only difference is the people who love her won’t be there.
 

Sarasa

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Apr 13, 2018
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@Rosserk, that does sound tough for you, but I think if you had her home the same thing would happen again. You say she wouldn't hurt you with the knife and I'm sure that's the last thing she'd intend, but if she was distressed she might well lash out and hurt you or herself in the process. I think a care home at least for a little while is worth trying. With a team looking after her she may start taking her medication properly, or they can push perhaps more persuasively than you can for a change. The people who love her will still be caring for her, but just in a different way.
 

Bunpoots

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Apr 1, 2016
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Nottinghamshire
@Rosserk I agree with @Sarasa. You shouldn’t underestimate the damage a PWD can do through fear.

My friend’s father had undiagnosed dementia and after a vascular episode attacked his wife with a frying pan. She didn’t survive. Before Dementia he was the gentlest soul. The last person on earth who would do such a thing. Please think carefully about your own welfare as well as your mum’s.

Remember your mother doesn’t recognise you and will be frightened and probably angry in equal measure. She may well feel safer in a carehome with lots of people to turn to than at home. As Sarasa says you will still be looking after her - just in a different way - and if her meds can be sorted while she’s there you could have a happier mum back home in time.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
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@Rosserk I agree with @Sarasa. You shouldn’t underestimate the damage a PWD can do through fear.

My friend’s father had undiagnosed dementia and after a vascular episode attacked his wife with a frying pan. She didn’t survive. Before Dementia he was the gentlest soul. The last person on earth who would do such a thing. Please think carefully about your own welfare as well as your mum’s.

Remember your mother doesn’t recognise you and will be frightened and probably angry in equal measure. She may well feel safer in a carehome with lots of people to turn to than at home. As Sarasa says you will still be looking after her - just in a different way - and if her meds can be sorted while she’s there you could have a happier mum back home in time.

@Bunpoots thank you I know you’re right but I feel so overwhelming guilty it’s like I’m abandoning her. It’s so hard to know what to do for the best. Because I haven’t seen her for a few days it’s hard to remember how bad she actually was. I keep thinking medication will help and I don’t want to rush into anything. I feel like I’m being swept away and everything is out of my control. There are now so many people involved I don’t know who to talk to it’s all very confusing. X
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
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Hi @Rosserk, I do really feel for you it is a dreadful situation. When the loved one with dementia is in Hospital we tend to believe that we can cope, but the reality is when someone is extremely anxious and worried bringing them back to the same environment won't change that. I went through a similar dilemma (no where near as extreme) fighting to keep Mum at home (as she had always wanted), but of course that was before 'home' had changed and she was frightened and anxious. I felt wretched on the day she went into residential care - to my amazement after a few days she improved quite dramatically and was extremely calm. There were also a lot more activities to take part in. Others in the home also regularly went out on day trips and out with family (this was a bridge too far for Mum at that stage!). So try not to think of it as failing Mum - my thought was actually the opposite after Mum went into residential care i.e. that I had failed her by not acting sooner. I hope you can make a decision that works for you. I just thought I would share my experience.