Happy New Year all!
Thank you for letting me join your wonderful forum. A little background:
My mother passed away in October and by awful coincidence my elderly father sustained a bleed on his brain following a fall. Though he has not been diagnosed with dementia many of his symptoms mirror those associated with dementia. He has little short term memory, is confused and often doesn’t recognise family members. He is now in a good care home and being looked after.
I am currently in the process of applying to the court of Protection to have my sister and I appointed as deputies for his financial and welfare needs. So far so good as I know it can be a very long process.
My problem is this: I live away from the home and am only able to visit every couple of weeks. My sister is able to visit more often which is great. My relationship with my sister is reasonably good however my relationship with her husband is not. My parents thought him untrustworthy and manipulative and motivated largely by money. I share their concerns and I know that he “borrowed” a number of sums of money and never repaid them as well as using the threat of restricting my parents contact with their grandchildren as leverage.
I am becoming increasingly concerned that my father’s care home is sharing information with my brother in law about my father’s care as well as taking instruction and direction from him. Unfortunately my sister is dominated by him and tends to do whatever he tells her to. I spoke to the home briefly last week and requested that I be given regular updates on my father’s progress as I am concerned that my sister is not providing timely and detailed information to me. I learned that my father has had a number of falls and has also sustained a hernia. I had no knowledge of this until the home informed me.
I later received a text message from my sister telling me not to speak to the home and that she will relay any relevant information to me. I am not satisfied with this and knowing my family dynamic I know full well that this is her husband’s doing.
my question is this: surely the care home should not be sharing confidential information with anyone outside of immediate family let alone taking instruction from them. It may be that my sister has advised the home that she is happy for details of my father’s care to be shared with him but I have not given my consent for this and nor would I. If my sister is not available for any reason to answer questions or discuss any issue then surely I should be the next point of contact and not my sister’s husband? Just to be clear there is no LPOA in place hence my application to the court for joint deputyship.
Any advice gratefully received! Thank you!
Thank you for letting me join your wonderful forum. A little background:
My mother passed away in October and by awful coincidence my elderly father sustained a bleed on his brain following a fall. Though he has not been diagnosed with dementia many of his symptoms mirror those associated with dementia. He has little short term memory, is confused and often doesn’t recognise family members. He is now in a good care home and being looked after.
I am currently in the process of applying to the court of Protection to have my sister and I appointed as deputies for his financial and welfare needs. So far so good as I know it can be a very long process.
My problem is this: I live away from the home and am only able to visit every couple of weeks. My sister is able to visit more often which is great. My relationship with my sister is reasonably good however my relationship with her husband is not. My parents thought him untrustworthy and manipulative and motivated largely by money. I share their concerns and I know that he “borrowed” a number of sums of money and never repaid them as well as using the threat of restricting my parents contact with their grandchildren as leverage.
I am becoming increasingly concerned that my father’s care home is sharing information with my brother in law about my father’s care as well as taking instruction and direction from him. Unfortunately my sister is dominated by him and tends to do whatever he tells her to. I spoke to the home briefly last week and requested that I be given regular updates on my father’s progress as I am concerned that my sister is not providing timely and detailed information to me. I learned that my father has had a number of falls and has also sustained a hernia. I had no knowledge of this until the home informed me.
I later received a text message from my sister telling me not to speak to the home and that she will relay any relevant information to me. I am not satisfied with this and knowing my family dynamic I know full well that this is her husband’s doing.
my question is this: surely the care home should not be sharing confidential information with anyone outside of immediate family let alone taking instruction from them. It may be that my sister has advised the home that she is happy for details of my father’s care to be shared with him but I have not given my consent for this and nor would I. If my sister is not available for any reason to answer questions or discuss any issue then surely I should be the next point of contact and not my sister’s husband? Just to be clear there is no LPOA in place hence my application to the court for joint deputyship.
Any advice gratefully received! Thank you!