Distractions for bored PWD

[Twopoodles]

I have now moved in with mum as she’s struggling to cope with any day to day tasks and is scared on her own, particularly when it’s dark.
However I am finding it hard keeping her “entertained” whilst indoors. I scan the tv for things for her to watch and record some but if she can see I’m not watching she won’t watch alone. Sometimes I just need to read and catch up with messaging family but there are constant questions to answer and having to jump up to make sure she is not raiding the kitchen cupboards. She has no hobbies apart from gardening and even that has gone now, there are no friends to visit. We are on our second care agency and whilst I have been there have watched her play on her phone whilst I’m trying to get mum to engage with her since I discovered that she knew nothing about mums life.
Mum has never liked going out although I have managed to do short walks with her about once a week. I do try and get out by myself for an hour in the afternoon just for a mental break and some exercise but the phone constantly rings as she’s doesn’t know what to do and wants to know what’s happening. She rings others too but not to talk just to ask where I am and what does she need to do. I don’t want to increase the care hours but do need to still get out and need ideas to keep mum entertained. She has a very short attention span so reading is out and doesn’t use a computer. She does have a cat and spends a lot of time letting him in and out and looking for him and asking where he is. Are there any games etc specifically for Alzheimer’s that will just provide a distraction for 30 mins.

 

[Lladro]

Hi, your post rang true with me. I'm sorry but I don't have any suggestions at the moment for you. My wife has a boredom threshold of about zero and I awake every day to the question of "what do we have to do today?" from my beloved. One of the hats that I wear is entitled "Entertainment Officer" and it is becoming increasingly more difficult to come up with ideas. We go to a different Alzheimers cafe meeting each week and also singing for the brain, which she really loves. These meetings are great for the social interaction for my wife and I'm sure that they do her a power of good - for me though , its just something else to organise! So I am selfishly hoping that someone out there will come up with some great ideas to answer your post! Seriously though, I can really identify with you that it is so difficult to keep OH occupied, since they cannot concentrate on anything or seem to have any interest in the things that they used to love doing; like reading, sowing etc. We love them, but just wish that they could at least entertain themselves for a short period and give us a break! Best wishes with your endeavours.
Kind Regards

 

[TNJJ]

I have now moved in with mum as she’s struggling to cope with any day to day tasks and is scared on her own, particularly when it’s dark.
However I am finding it hard keeping her “entertained” whilst indoors. I scan the tv for things for her to watch and record some but if she can see I’m not watching she won’t watch alone. Sometimes I just need to read and catch up with messaging family but there are constant questions to answer and having to jump up to make sure she is not raiding the kitchen cupboards. She has no hobbies apart from gardening and even that has gone now, there are no friends to visit. We are on our second care agency and whilst I have been there have watched her play on her phone whilst I’m trying to get mum to engage with her since I discovered that she knew nothing about mums life.
Mum has never liked going out although I have managed to do short walks with her about once a week. I do try and get out by myself for an hour in the afternoon just for a mental break and some exercise but the phone constantly rings as she’s doesn’t know what to do and wants to know what’s happening. She rings others too but not to talk just to ask where I am and what does she need to do. I don’t want to increase the care hours but do need to still get out and need ideas to keep mum entertained. She has a very short attention span so reading is out and doesn’t use a computer. She does have a cat and spends a lot of time letting him in and out and looking for him and asking where he is. Are there any games etc specifically for Alzheimer’s that will just provide a distraction for 30 mins.

Sorry I don’t have any suggestions either. My dad has to be “entertained” as well. I long ago ran out of ideas..He cannot walk with out a frame and carer so he cannot raid the biscuit barrel.We have looked at old photos. He won’t play cards etc so we are back to watching old films..So I’m afraid I’m no further on than you. It has been nearly 4 years now like this.

 

[Twopoodles]

Sorry I don’t have any suggestions either. My dad has to be “entertained” as well. I long ago ran out of ideas..He cannot walk with out a frame and carer so he cannot raid the biscuit barrel.We have looked at old photos. He won’t play cards etc so we are back to watching old films..So I’m afraid I’m no further on than you. It has been nearly 4 years now like this.

Oh dear there seems to be a few of us then, mum doesn’t have the attention span for films, shame as there have been so many of them on tv. Remembering the past usually ends in tears. I did look at dementia cafes but none in my area and pretty hard to get mum out at all which is a shame as physically she is strong. Oh well back to staring out the window with “isn’t it dark?” on replay. Hoping I stumble on something soon. Visitors help but we don’t get many

 

[TNJJ]

Oh dear there seems to be a few of us then, mum doesn’t have the attention span for films, shame as there have been so many of them on tv. Remembering the past usually ends in tears. I did look at dementia cafes but none in my area and pretty hard to get mum out at all which is a shame as physically she is strong. Oh well back to staring out the window with “isn’t it dark?” on replay. Hoping I stumble on something soon. Visitors help but we don’t get many

That’s the trouble with dementia.Dad likes to go out but has been refusing with carers. I used to take him but getting out the ramp,into wheelchair and then taxi became too much. So we are back to square one.Dad looks at films but falls asleep.He likes the radio.But the majority of PWD have short attention spans.So what keeps them entertained for a while one week may not work the next. But we can only try.

 

[canary]

Have you tried things like sorting out buttons or folding tea towels?
Something mum liked to do was going through a sewing basket I made up for her. I bought a cheap sewing box (you might be able to find one in a charity shop) and filled it with lots of sewing related things - dont put anything sharp in: a tape measure, thimble, darning mushroom,old-fashioned cotton reels, pincushion (without pins), childs plastic knitting needles crochet hook and darning needles, large buttons, large hooks and eyes, oddments of elastic, lace, different coloured ribbon, a zip, small pieces of different textured material.

I have a feeling that this wont occupy your mum enough for you to go out. I think your mum now needs someone to watch over her and reassure her while you are gone, but it might give you a bit of respite from the onslaught of impossible-to-answer questions

 

[RosettaT]

My OH will 'proof read' until the cows come home he has his pen and makes lots of squiggles and crosses but it keeps him occupied. He also enjoys filling out order forms, not that they are legible by the end of the day. He will also fold washing and pair socks, funny how many pairs of the same design I have . Another thing I sometimes do is type a list of simple numbers and asked him to add them up saying they are electricity readings and I need to work out how much we owe. When all else fails I have a kiddies football it's only about 6" in diameter but he enjoys catching and throwing it back me, we started off with a balloon until his coordination improved but that of course means I need to spend time entertaining him.

Variety is the best way to keep him occupied.

 

[White Rose]

So very difficult, I have exactly the same problem. We go for a walk every day and it's becoming impossible for me to do anything for myself, even just housework because he's always wanting to know what he can do. He will occasionally pick up a book and 'read', i.e. scan the pages. He's got no interest in TV unless I'm sitting watching with him and then very often he'll just spend the whole time 'talking', which consists of a monologue repeating the same things all the time. I can get him ironing simple things like towels and pillow cases and get him in the garden sweeping leaves, I even get him using the vacuum though he doesn't do it properly but at least it occupies him for 10 minutes. He doesn't like day care because they spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing. It really is a major problem.

 

[annielou]

Sorry no suggestions but I have the same thing with my mum and sympathise with you x
Mum used to enjoy reading and doing puzzles but struggles with them now so mainly doesnt try, the same with jigsaws. She used to knit loads but started struggling following patterns so gave up on that but has recently started again with simple scarf, though only really does it when prompted and mainly when I do mine too.
She says she is bored a lot and expects me to entertain her, which is hard as we spend all our time together and dont do much so what do I have to talk to her about? plus she struggles to follow a conversation for long anyway.
She struggles to use tvguide so constantly asks me to pick something to watch or she just flicks channels constantly. Mainly we watch home programmes or old comedies or old films shes watched before. New programmes she struggles to follow so will say i cant cope with this its rubbish or I've seen this and dunt like it.
She doesn't like me doing anything else that takes attention away from her and gets fed up if I'm trying to do housework and things and tends to follow me if I leave the room.
Even at mealtimes she wants us to eat the same and if I finish before her and take plate away she often stops eating too.
I hope you find some things to help x

 

[White Rose]

Sorry no suggestions but I have the same thing with my mum and sympathise with you x
Mum used to enjoy reading and doing puzzles but struggles with them now so mainly doesnt try, the same with jigsaws. She used to knit loads but started struggling following patterns so gave up on that but has recently started again with simple scarf, though only really does it when prompted and mainly when I do mine too.
She says she is bored a lot and expects me to entertain her, which is hard as we spend all our time together and dont do much so what do I have to talk to her about? plus she struggles to follow a conversation for long anyway.
She struggles to use tvguide so constantly asks me to pick something to watch or she just flicks channels constantly. Mainly we watch home programmes or old comedies or old films shes watched before. New programmes she struggles to follow so will say i cant cope with this its rubbish or I've seen this and dunt like it.
She doesn't like me doing anything else that takes attention away from her and gets fed up if I'm trying to do housework and things and tends to follow me if I leave the room.
Even at mealtimes she wants us to eat the same and if I finish before her and take plate away she often stops eating too.
I hope you find some things to help x

Such neediness and dependency does get to you, when my partner asks 'what can I do', I just want to say 'what do you want to do' or 'find something to do yourself' but no point of course because they are unable to decide anything for themselves. And the self-centredness as well, everything has to revolve around them and we are there solely to look after them and entertain them - no concept of us being people who might want our own space or to do something on our own. I had a care company here the other day, I was explaining to my partner the purpose of them coming, e.g. to take him out so I could have a bit of a break, his response was 'but I only want to be with you' - how sweet

 

[annielou]

was explaining to my partner the purpose of them coming, e.g. to take him out so I could have a bit of a break, his response was 'but I only want to be with you' - how sweet

Very sweet but also stifling isn't it. My mum has said something very similar to both memory worker and social worker when they were trying to talk to her about day care and carers. Mum didn't seem to think I might want to do my own thing. When they pointed out I also might want to spend time with my hubby mum said oh he's ok we're always together the three of us.
She just kept telling them she didn't need carers as she had me I was lovely and she only wanted me.

 

[Twopoodles]

Have you tried things like sorting out buttons or folding tea towels?
Something mum liked to do was going through a sewing basket I made up for her. I bought a cheap sewing box (you might be able to find one in a charity shop) and filled it with lots of sewing related things - dont put anything sharp in: a tape measure, thimble, darning mushroom,old-fashioned cotton reels, pincushion (without pins), childs plastic knitting needles crochet hook and darning needles, large buttons, large hooks and eyes, oddments of elastic, lace, different coloured ribbon, a zip, small pieces of different textured material.

I have a feeling that this wont occupy your mum enough for you to go out. I think your mum now needs someone to watch over her and reassure her while you are gone, but it might give you a bit of respite from the onslaught of impossible-to-answer questions

Thanks for reply. Funny you should mention tea towels as that’s one of our “issues” they get shoved in every drawer all over the house, put over radiators and then put back in drawers. Washed in dirty dish water and hung on the line. At the moment I get to the drawers each day to pull out all the stuff that’s in the wrong place maybe I should leave the drawers and organise a tea towel hunt! We do have a carer in a couple of times a week for 90 minutes but when I’m out the carer will call and say your mums stressing when are you coming back

 

[Twopoodles]

Very sweet but also stifling isn't it. My mum has said something very similar to both memory worker and social worker when they were trying to talk to her about day care and carers. Mum didn't seem to think I might want to do my own thing. When they pointed out I also might want to spend time with my hubby mum said oh he's ok we're always together the three of us.
She just kept telling them she didn't need carers as she had me I was lovely and she only wanted me.

Such neediness and dependency does get to you, when my partner asks 'what can I do', I just want to say 'what do you want to do' or 'find something to do yourself' but no point of course because they are unable to decide anything for themselves. And the self-centredness as well, everything has to revolve around them and we are there solely to look after them and entertain them - no concept of us being people who might want our own space or to do something on our own. I had a care company here the other day, I was explaining to my partner the purpose of them coming, e.g. to take him out so I could have a bit of a break, his response was 'but I only want to be with you' - how sweet

Oh how I hear you, so glad that we can say such things out loud on here. My mum doesn’t want to be on her own and I understand that and it was my decision to come and stay here but at the same time my husband is left on his own too. I know it’s part of the disease just wish there was some sort of mutually beneficial solution as a lot of people in the same boat.

 

[Ruth1974]

I have now moved in with mum as she’s struggling to cope with any day to day tasks and is scared on her own, particularly when it’s dark.
However I am finding it hard keeping her “entertained” whilst indoors. I scan the tv for things for her to watch and record some but if she can see I’m not watching she won’t watch alone. Sometimes I just need to read and catch up with messaging family but there are constant questions to answer and having to jump up to make sure she is not raiding the kitchen cupboards. She has no hobbies apart from gardening and even that has gone now, there are no friends to visit. We are on our second care agency and whilst I have been there have watched her play on her phone whilst I’m trying to get mum to engage with her since I discovered that she knew nothing about mums life.
Mum has never liked going out although I have managed to do short walks with her about once a week. I do try and get out by myself for an hour in the afternoon just for a mental break and some exercise but the phone constantly rings as she’s doesn’t know what to do and wants to know what’s happening. She rings others too but not to talk just to ask where I am and what does she need to do. I don’t want to increase the care hours but do need to still get out and need ideas to keep mum entertained. She has a very short attention span so reading is out and doesn’t use a computer. She does have a cat and spends a lot of time letting him in and out and looking for him and asking where he is. Are there any games etc specifically for Alzheimer’s that will just provide a distraction for 30 mins.

Oh that is just like life here!
Heres what i notice.
1. He can watch tv or concentrate on a simple task if he can see me.
2. Ad soon as he cant see me he phones me.

If i work from home he will stand all day and watch me, not bored or agitated. The other knight i was kbitting and he was happy to sit and watch. He watches tv if i do but i cant put it on for him and go for a walk.

A couple of things have helped.
1. I started him vaping, he used to smoke occasionally so vaping has given him a ritual.
2 when i go out i leave toffees. In much the same way as giving a puppy something to chew i leave a bowl of toffee eclairs as a distraction.

Other than that, we need time off to stay sane. Hide the phone, turn your phone off, whatever.

 

[White Rose]

Very sweet but also stifling isn't it. My mum has said something very similar to both memory worker and social worker when they were trying to talk to her about day care and carers. Mum didn't seem to think I might want to do my own thing. When they pointed out I also might want to spend time with my hubby mum said oh he's ok we're always together thOe three of us.
She just kept telling them she didn't need carers as she had me I was lovely and she only wanted me.

Oh I do feel for you, must be so difficult for both you and your husband, three people living with dementia really

 

[White Rose]

Oh how I hear you, so glad that we can say such things out loud on here. My mum doesn’t want to be on her own and I understand that and it was my decision to come and stay here but at the same time my husband is left on his own too. I know it’s part of the disease just wish there was some sort of mutually beneficial solution as a lot of people in the same boat.

We need a sort of 'babysitting' circle. Or a commune for people with dementia and their carers!

 

[Ruth1974]

We need a sort of 'babysitting' circle. Or a commune for people with dementia and their carers!

Except i couldnt leave him with a babysitter, he went to his sister in october and packed his bag every morning and stood watching for me coming to get him. He sobbed when i dropped him off and she only let him phone me once a day but he never shut up about it

 

[Twopoodles]

Finally found a game show that mum likes, yes I have to watch it with her but at least she engages. Tipping Point she used to like playing the game in the old amusement arcades so that works plus easy questions hurrah. Yes white rose a sitting circle could work the ones at the “centres” are just too overwhelming.

 

[Twopoodles]

Latest discovery a set of Ludo and Snakes and Ladders. Ludo was harder as tactics involved but she liked the pop up dice but snakes and ladders game of chance so ended playing that for an hour today! And she won every game. Obviously I didn’t get a “break” but it was a break from the questions .