After reading all I can get my hands on, I've come to the conclusion that mum is in Stage 6 of dementia.
She needs help dressing, going to the loo and her meals have to be easy to eat. She needs an apron on while she eats and help initially guiding her hand to the spoon.
She sleeps probably 60% of the day and can't walk more than about 5 yards (with her frame) She forgets her way around the house she's lived in for over 50 years and can't recognise her regular care team about 70% of the time. I've realised she can't be left alone more than about 1.5 hours without going into really steep decline and she can have episodes of absolute confusion and anger and paranoia about money, doors (are they locked? Where are they? Why has someone moved them?) but other times she's happy and chatty.
I've been looking after her now for 2 years and although the GP has done blood tests and adjusted her thyroxine doses, he's never given me any advice on dementia, other than to say it 'looks like' dementia but it 'might not me'. When I ask what else it could be and how we get a proper diagnosis, he is non-committal and says mum would need to attend Memory Clinic - which she won't.
My brother has POA and he's not bothered about a diagnosis, but I am because I feel now is the time we need to be having pretty serious conversations about her future care and what her outlook is. I feel we're getting near to the end of the road (or are we? Will I still be spending around 40 hours a week with her for the next 10 years? What will OH and I live on if I am?!) and still no real answers. I've recently been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease so I don't honestly know what the future holds for me and I just feel scared and helpless. I want to plan ahead.
I've made an appointment to see her GP by myself this week. Any tips on how to manage the conversation? The boss of the care agency has also been in touch to say she wants to 'review' mum's care and I'm worried now what she's going to say.
She needs help dressing, going to the loo and her meals have to be easy to eat. She needs an apron on while she eats and help initially guiding her hand to the spoon.
She sleeps probably 60% of the day and can't walk more than about 5 yards (with her frame) She forgets her way around the house she's lived in for over 50 years and can't recognise her regular care team about 70% of the time. I've realised she can't be left alone more than about 1.5 hours without going into really steep decline and she can have episodes of absolute confusion and anger and paranoia about money, doors (are they locked? Where are they? Why has someone moved them?) but other times she's happy and chatty.
I've been looking after her now for 2 years and although the GP has done blood tests and adjusted her thyroxine doses, he's never given me any advice on dementia, other than to say it 'looks like' dementia but it 'might not me'. When I ask what else it could be and how we get a proper diagnosis, he is non-committal and says mum would need to attend Memory Clinic - which she won't.
My brother has POA and he's not bothered about a diagnosis, but I am because I feel now is the time we need to be having pretty serious conversations about her future care and what her outlook is. I feel we're getting near to the end of the road (or are we? Will I still be spending around 40 hours a week with her for the next 10 years? What will OH and I live on if I am?!) and still no real answers. I've recently been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease so I don't honestly know what the future holds for me and I just feel scared and helpless. I want to plan ahead.
I've made an appointment to see her GP by myself this week. Any tips on how to manage the conversation? The boss of the care agency has also been in touch to say she wants to 'review' mum's care and I'm worried now what she's going to say.